


Golden Cage

by twdeadfanfic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, seriously the slow burn is slooow, set in season 7 - 8 - (sort of) 9, violance and language twd style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-10-20 01:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 74,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20666801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdeadfanfic/pseuds/twdeadfanfic
Summary: The reader is one of Negan’s wives, kept against her will in the golden cage that is the Sanctuary. When they brought Daryl in, she can’t take to see more suffering, and she tries helping him, until she gathers enough courage to ask him to help her run away from there.Disclaimer: For me, and as much as I love the actor and I think him an interesting character, Negan is a villain, and in this story, he’s certanly the villain in Reader’s life. So if you don’t like to see portrayed Negan like that, then please don’t read instead of sending hate…





	1. Chapter 1

You rushed to the infirmary, ready to do your job. Negan and his Saviors had just come back and you’d heard they were bringing someone injured, though you didn’t know if it was a Savior or someone else who they’d gone to terrorize. For whoever’s sake, you hoped it was one of Negan’s.

Rushing into the infirmary, you didn’t miss once again how inconvenient and plainly silly was to work in there and help the doctor while wearing that fancy, little black dress and high heels. You really needed to sit down and tell Negan you needed working clothes, but whenever you brought it up he drove the conversation to wherever he wanted it. As always.

You knew you should be grateful, you were the only one of Negan’s wives who had a job besides pleasing the man, but still, there was so much more you wanted to be doing, so much else…

You knew that the reason why you were allowed to work was that you were a nurse, the only one in the Sanctuary somehow, so you were beyond useful working on something else that wasn’t looking pretty and warming a bed, especially when you first arrived and they still hadn’t got a doctor.

You also knew that being a nurse was the reason why Negan had set his eyes on you in the first place, when he first came to terrorize your little community, in which you’d lived since the beginning. Negan had made an offer, the community would collect stuff for him and he’d let them keep living there peacefully, but also you needed to go to the Sanctuary and work there.

The deal was made and you moved to the Sanctuary, where they still hadn’t gotten anyone with medical training, and began working as a nurse. That was only at the beginning though. Negan had soon started to drop comments about how your people didn’t collect enough stuff, how he should do something about it…how maybe promoting you to be his wife could help the situation…and so you’d married the man, but had been allowed to also keep working.

That had been quite a while ago, and by now your little community was gone. Negan said it wasn’t him but walkers. You never knew for sure, and you weren’t sure you wanted to know. Nothing forced you to be his wife and his nurse now, but you didn’t know what to do. You’d never been anything but a nurse, not even in your community, you weren’t sure you could survive out there on your own.

Besides, you knew Negan wouldn’t let you go. Maybe he wouldn’t care about losing a wife, he had several, though something told you it’d hurt his pride, but he’d never lose a nurse. You guessed you could maybe divorce the man, he always said you all were free to not be with him if you didn’t want to, but none of the wives had ever done that, and you weren’t eager to be the first and find out what Negan might do about it.

Especially not now…

You focused your mind back to the present and to the man that was being dragged into the infirmary by Dwight, who pushed him roughly onto the gurney. The man was covered in sweat, his skin pale and hot. He’d been shot on a shoulder and you could see he’d lost blood. You weren’t sure if he was conscious or not, his eyes were open but he wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t moving.

“Just make sure he doesn’t bleed out, but nothing else. He hadn’t earned it yet.” Dwight was instructing the doctor.

“We have to remove the bullet, clean the wound and make sure it doesn’t infect, suture it probably, bandage it properly, probably we should keep him here for the night, and he’s lost some blood, so…” You began to list and Dwight shook his head.

“Only thing you have to do is make sure he doesn’t die. His arm can fall off for all we care, but he has to stay alive.”

You glared at him, wondering where the man who’d been one of your first and only friends in that place had gone, because you couldn’t see it on him anymore. The doctor began working on removing the bullet from the man’s shoulder, not anesthetics or painkillers, as they seemed to want the man to suffer too.

You could see the man trying not to make a sound, seeming like his mind was far away from there, but when the doctor began removing the bullet, he couldn’t help but cry out. You hated it. It was cruel and unnecessary, but you knew you couldn’t do anything about it. Still, as you held him still, you reached out and took the man’s hand, squeezing it tightly, hoping it’d be even a tiny help.

When the doctor finished, you thought the man was unconscious, but when you went to brush his long, wild hair out of his face, wanting to see if they had hurt him anywhere, he flinched away from you.

Once the doctor assured the man wouldn’t bleed out, Dwight dragged him out of there. You followed him towards the cells at the basement, where he pushed the man into one, and you watched as he unceremoniously ripped the clothes off the man. You wished you could do something, but you didn’t know what, and you knew these were Negan’s orders, though Dwight seemed to be enjoying it.

“He’s going to die of an infection,” you said when Dwight locked the door behind him, leaving the man inside the cold darkness of the small cell.

“That’s up to him…he joins us? Then Negan will give him anything he needs. He doesn’t…” Dwight shrugged, talking loud enough for the man to hear him through the door. “Then he dies in there. Negan really wants him, though, so Daryl here only has to play his cards right.”

“Who is him? What happened?” You only knew Negan had gone to talk with a new group of people…this was his way of talking, you knew.

“Ask your husband.” Dwight began walking away.

“I can’t, he’s busy with your ex-wife.” You snapped. You knew it was cruel, but you were mad at the man. Dwight didn’t say anything, just kept walking away.

*

You’d lied to Dwight, Sherry wasn’t with Negan, and you went to tell her everything that had happened. You knew she could see how Dwight had changed too, but you also knew she still loved him. Apparently, she’d met Daryl, the prisoner, before, somehow. He’d helped her, her late sister, and Dwight, that time they tried to run away. And to repay him, Dwight had robbed him. You decided not to comment on it.

Later that day, you dared to bring up the matter to Negan as you found yourself in bed with him, asking him what had happened with that new group. He prided himself in not lying to you, though you were pretty sure he was giving you an adultered version of what had gone on. It involved murder anyway, two people of that new group had died. As Dwight had said, he wanted Daryl to work for him, and apparently, he needed to break him first or whatever.

“If you really want him then you should let the doctor tend to him,” you tried to reason. “That wound looks pretty bad. On the worst case, he dies in there of infection and the only way you have him working for you is as a walker. Best case, you have him working for you with a messed up arm…”

“Damn doll, you really trying your best on this. Gotta love that sweet heart of yours.” Negan gave you one of those smiles that made you shiver because you couldn’t depict if there was something hidden behind. “Or is it that you like them with long hair and covered in dirt now?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, sure.” You scoffed, shaking your head as you tried to look amused and not let your nerves betray you. Not because you were interested in the prisoner like that, but because if Negan might just suspect it, you didn’t think things would go well for you. He was possessive of the things he owned, whether he cared for them or not. “Just concerned about someone’s health. I’m a nurse, you know?”

“Alright then, sweetheart, you win. The doc can check that shoulder that has you so worried tomorrow. Anything for my girl, you know I can’t deny you anything, you’ve become the spoilest wife.” He smiled like that again and you forced yourself to smile back and stop the shiver that ran through you as he pulled you closer to him.

*

You wondered if maybe Negan had been lying, but the next day he walked you into the infirmary where you found Daryl sat down on the gurney, the doctor tending to his shoulder, Dwight next to him.

“See, this is what you could have if you join us,” Diwght was saying to Daryl, and you rolled your eyes when you saw he was wearing the winged vest he’d stripped off the other man. “Negan treats his workers right.”

“I do.” Negan grinned, dangerous gaze fixing on Daryl, who was silent and looking at the ground. “Although you have to thank my sweet wife for this, I wanted to wait for a few days until we treat you with this. But she has a gentle heart, you see.” Negan wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you tried not to squirm, it always made you uncomfortable when he claimed you as his wife in front of others. Which he did as much as he could.

Daryl’s head was still hanging low but you thought you noticed his gaze shifting up briefly to you, but then he was looking at the ground again.

“So what is going to be, Daryl…_Daryl,_ it sounds right, doesn’t darling?” Negan smiled at you and you just nodded. “You joining us?” Daryl was still silent and looking down, and Negan let out a sigh. “Alright then. Dwight, drag him back to his hole.” His arm was still around you and he walked you to the door. “Sorry, sweetcheeks, you tried.”

*

You didn’t see Daryl again for two days. You knew Dwight still kept him in that cell, fed dog food if he was fed anything, having a song playing again and again so he couldn’t rest…it wasn’t the first man Negan kept prisoner, but he was trying his hardest with this one.

You couldn’t believe you were part of this. You shouldn’t have said yes to Negan when he asked you to be his nurse, you should have died with your people, but you were trying to protect them. But they had been gone for months now and yet you still were there…you were scared Negan would kill you if you tried to leave, and you might be a coward, but you never dared to try, especially not after what happened to Sherry and Dwight.

You were walking back to the wives’ rooms after doing some routine check ups to some of the workers, when you saw Daryl being dragged by a couple of Saviors, led by Dwight. He seemed unconscious and like he had taken a hell of a beating.

“What the hell happened?!” You rushed to them, but you stopped before you could get too close and check on Daryl, the way in which one of the Saviors looked at you making you take a couple of steps back.

You knew they wouldn’t hurt one of Negan’s wives, especially not you now, they’d be punished, but still…Some Saviors, not many, were there because they didn’t know what else to do, but others looked scary and dangerous, and seemed to truly enjoy their job. That was one of them. You looked as they dragged Daryl back to his cell, feeling like an useless coward.

You waited until you thought none would be around and then you made your way to Daryl’s cell, finding Dwight not far from there, keeping his eye on it.

“Tell me what happened,” you demanded.

“He tried to escape, he was caught.”

“Tried to escape? You can’t even close a cell properly now?” You spat.

“We left it open on purpose, Negan’s idea, see what he would do, teach him a lesson if he tried to escape.”

“Did any of you really think he wouldn’t try to escape?!” You scoffed, you couldn’t believe it. “Do you see what you’re doing to him here?!”

“Why do you yell at me, it was your husband’s idea, go yell at him, come on.” Dwight raised his eyebrows at you, he knew you wouldn’t and you knew it too. “Pretty sure Negan knew Daryl’d try to escape and was hoping for it.” You felt sick to your stomach but decided not to say anything else about it.

“Let me check him, I’ll grab a first aid kit from the infirmary.”

“No.”

“Yes. He looked half dead.”

“He’ll survive. Negan wants him like that. And I’m close to breaking him.”

“When did you become a monster too?” You glared at Dwight, feeling a lump in your throat at all that cruelty. You knew Saviors were bad, even though you had been pretty sheltered from it all, but still, you couldn’t believe they’d treat a person like that. “You’re going to let me check on him or I’ll tell Negan about those meetings with Sherry on the corridor.”

They did nothing but talk and smoke, but still, you knew how Negan would react. You’d began covering for Sherry since she became a wife when she wanted to talk to Dwight, and eventually you’d ended up doing it for other wives who had a boyfriend or a husband outside too. You liked to help, but it was stressful. You’d never thought you’d hold it against any of the other women, use it against them, and there you were…you felt awful, but you didn’t know what else to do.

“You wouldn’t do that to Sherry.” Dwight shrugged as if he didn’t care, but you could notice him getting nervous.

“I’ll say it’s you who won’t stop coming and wouldn’t let Sherry alone until she talks to you…” You bluffed.

“Negan won’t believe you.”

“Okay, let’s find out.” You turned to walk away and Dwight grabbed your arm.

“You think you’re on a high horse but you’re as bad as him,” he spat and you tried not to show how that hurt. “You get in there, Daryl’ll kill you, and then Negan kills me.”

“I won’t let him hurt me, if he tries something I call for you.” You hadn’t thought about that, it was a good point, but still, you couldn’t just leave the man like that. “Let me in. Or I tell Negan.”

Dwight glared at you but finally he nodded. “Five minutes.”

“Ten.” You slipped off your heels and ran to the infirmary, bringing a first aid kit and a lantern. Dwight opened his mouth as if he were going to try and say something to change your mind, but then he just shook his head and opened the door of the cell, closing it behind you when you walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

The smell of the cell made your stomach turn but you tried to ignore it, and you turned on the lantern to illuminate the small place. Daryl was curled up on the ground, and he hadn’t even looked at you when you walked in. It broke your heart to see someone like that. The idea that you were part if it made you hate yourself.

“Hello. I’m a nurse, I came to check on you and see those injuries,” you announced, and you couldn’t help how your voice shook. “Please, don’t try anything. If you hurt me Negan’ll cut your hands and the ones of the people you love.” You felt awful threatening him like that, but you didn’t want to risk it. You knew that the man was probably dangerous, and now that you were alone with him, you were a bit afraid. Still, he didn’t seem that dangerous at that moment, he was still not moving or saying anything.

Not knowing what to say, you knelt down next to the man, reaching out to check his vitals, wondering if maybe he was unconscious. At soon as he felt your hand on him, though, the man flinched away roughly, sitting up and pushing you away on the process. You yelped, scared, falling onto your ass, and you were about to call for Dwight, but Daryl didn’t do anything else. He’d backed himself against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest, gaze still down, though you noticed him breathing hard. Probably you’d scared him. You couldn’t blame he’d flinch like that, after everything that had been done to him.

“It’s okay. I only want to help.” You raised your hands, showing them to him before reaching down to open the first-aid kit, showing it to him too, though you weren’t sure if he was even looking. “I’m going to check your injuries, so please, don’t push me away. I won’t hurt you, so please don’t hurt me.”

If the man did something to you, Negan was going to be pissed, and you knew it wouldn’t be only at Dwight and the prisoner, you’d pay too. But for now, Daryl wasn’t trying to attack you, and so you decided to keep going.

Something on the wall caught your attention and you reached out to take off a picture and examine it. It showed the remains of what had been a person but was barely recognizable anymore, and you felt as if you might throw up. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. You knew who had done that. And probably that person had been someone Daryl had loved. You couldn’t believe Dwight could be this cruel.

Daryl had glanced at you when you reached out, though he dropped his gaze again, and you noticed he’d begun shaking. It broke your heart. You tore the picture into pieces and threw it into the first-aid kit.

You tried to take a hold on yourself and switch into nurse mood. If the man had been ruthlessly beaten, you wanted to check if he had any fractured rib or internal bleeding, and also check if they had damaged his already injured shoulder. You reached to, very gently, try to lift his sweatshirt, but Daryl flinched roughly again, and you let go. You didn’t know what to do. Dwight wasn’t allowing you much time, and you weren’t making much progress.

“Sir, I’m really not going to hurt you. I’m a trained nurse.” You tried again.

“You’re his wife.”

You were surprised to hear the man’s low rasp. You hadn’t heard him talk before. He was still looking down and not moving, yet he’d spoken, and for a second you didn’t know what to say, taken aback. He was right, though. Maybe Daryl thought you were going to hurt him, maybe he was scared of you…it made your heart clench. Probably he despised you, you’d understand it, most times you did too. You were part of this too, in a way, even if you’d never wanted to.

“Yes, I am one of his wives,” you said, honest. “But I’m also a nurse, that’s my job too. So please, let me do my job.”

You reached out to push his hair away from his face and see how bad it looked, but he flinched away again. You let out a sigh. Not progress. Then, Daryl surprised you speaking again.

“What you mean, wives?”

“You thought I was the queen of the castle?” You scoffed. “There’s several of us…you see, some people here are Saviors, but others are workers, under Negan’s control, doing different kind of things…some of us are wives, we work looking pretty, listening to Negan, and…well…” you trailed off. “And as I told you, I work as a nurse too, but I don’t have much time, so please…”

You reached your hand again but didn’t touch him. This time Daryl didn’t flinch, and so you dared to actually brush his hair away from his face and gently turn his face towards the light of the lantern. Daryl took a deep breath when you touched him, and you noticed him shivering again, but he didn’t pull away.

He’d several open wounds and bruises on his face, his lip was cut open and his nose was bleeding. He’d deep, dark circles under his eyes, both from lack of sleep and proper food. You didn’t think you’d ever seen any of Negan’s prisoners looking this bad.

You let go of his face to pour disinfectant in a piece of gauze, and you began to clean the wounds and wash the blood off his face. You knew you must be hurting him, but Daryl didn’t flinch.

“Did he send you to do this?” He rasped. “What for?”

“Negan? He doesn’t know I’m here.” You replied, focused on deciding if his eyebrow might need butterfly stitches that you didn’t have on hand.

“Then why?”

“Told you, I’m a nurse.” You decided to just press the gauze against the open eyebrow, hating how it made Daryl flinch, and hope it’d stop bleeding. “Can’t do nothing when someone’s hurt like this.”

Daryl scoffed at that. “Your husband has done worse.”

“I know…” You whispered, biting your lip and feeling a lump in your throat. “I’m sorry…about what he did to your people, about what he’s doing to you…” Daryl just scoffed at your words again, and you knew what he thought of you. “Look…all he wants from you is for you to join him. I know it’s horrible, I know how he is, but he wants you alive, whereas Dwight seems to actually want to see you die in here. Just tell Negan you’ll work for him, and this will stop.”

Daryl pulled away from you roughly at that, scaring you, and he looked at you for the first time, angry, fierce and dangerous blue eyes glaring at you, despite the pain and the condition he was in. He was dangerous, you could see it, feel it, you could see why Negan wanted him, and yet you didn’t call for Dwight. Daryl didn’t try to do anything to you, just glared you down.

“That’s what you came to do? Talk me into joining him with your nurse bullshit?” He accused and you shook your head.

“Told you, none but Dwight knows I’m here. But if you don’t work for Negan, he’s gonna let you die in here but he won’t kill you, he’s gonna keep doing this to you…” As the words left your mouth, you knew there was no point. Beaten and broke, tortured, and yet, you could see Daryl wasn’t going to give in. You wished you could be as strong-willed and brave as he seemed to be. Maybe things would have been different…

“Maybe you decided you wanted to, but I ain’t no one’s bitch.”

You just nodded at that, feeling tears in your eyes, but you deserved it.

“Time’s up.” Dwight yanked the door open and you got up to face him. Daryl hugged his knees against his chest again, gaze down, silent and unmoving again.

“If he has internal bleeding he’s going to die in here.”

“He’s well enough.” Dwight shrugged as if nothing. “If he wants a doctor appointment then he knows what he has to do.”

“What’s your problem with this man?! Have you always been this big of an asshole?!” You snapped, but Dwight just grabbed your arm to try and walk you out of the cell, but you pulled away. “He needs to eat, real food. And he needs to sleep. And it’d be wonderful if you stopped beating him!”

“Look, Y/N, you can be a nurse and you can be Negan’s wife, but you have no power here, you can’t give me orders,” Dwight stated and you resisted the urge to spat at him. Instead, you just turned over and left the cell yourself, not wanting nothing to do with Dwight anymore.

For another couple of days, you didn’t see Daryl again, though you knew he hadn’t died, but you didn’t dare to go check on him, in case Dwight might dare to tell Negan, you didn’t want him getting the wrong impression. One afternoon you were on your way to the infirmary to check on another wife who wasn’t feeling good, when you heard a noise, someone being beaten…you’d learned to recognize that sound during your time at the Sanctuary.

You rushed to it, finding it coming from a Savior’s room, and through the open door you saw Dwight kicking Daryl onto the ground. You didn’t know what made you get so angry, maybe seeing Daryl defenceless, tied up as he was, the unfairness of it all, your guilt and disgust at being part of that hateful place were growing day by day, getting too hard to ignore it, all it seemed to explode as you got into the room.

“What the hell is your problem!” You grabbed Dwight’s arm, taking him by surprise and yanking him away from Daryl, who seemed surprised too, as he looked at you from the ground.

“Now, doll, who’d have thought you had that in you!” Negan’s amused voice made the blood in your veins freeze. You hadn’t even realized he was in the room, focused as you had been in Dwight. Negan grinned at you and you looked at him like a deer in headlights. “Are all nurses this passionate about their patients?”

“I…I…” You babbled, unsure of what to do. “Sorry…I thought…I didn’t know…”

“Don’t apologize, darling, in fact, what a turn on. You’re on fire!” Negan chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows at you, but you thought you could see danger behind his eyes. You knew you needed to think quick.

“You still want him to work for you? Because if you keep this up, there’s no way he will.” You tried to sound as confident as you could. “He’s going to die, he can’t keep going without proper food and rest, and how many beats you think he can take?” You shrugged, hoping you were delivering your point, trying not to be scared as you gave your opinion, even if it wasn’t totally true. “So you either stop that and get him working, or you kill him already…”

Negan’s smile didn’t leave his face, and he was looking at you as if surveying you. You tried not to shiver under his gaze, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you, not physically, at least not until…

“Thanks for the opinion, doll, you might be right.” He took that awful bat and approached Daryl. “See, I just had a conversation with Daryl here. I showed him around so he could see everything he could get if he becomes a Savior and work for me…and can you believe he still says no? So yeah, you’re right, if he’s not going to work for me…”

You couldn’t help your gasp when he lifted his bat, he was going to kill Daryl and it was your fault. Negan stopped the bat right before hitting Daryl, though Daryl didn’t even flinch. Negan chuckled and looked at you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, you know I wouldn’t do that in front of you…now, look at that.” He focused his attention back on Daryl, using the bat to lift his head. “Second time he doesn’t flinch…I still like him…you don’t want to be a Savior? You’re still going to work your ass off here.” Negan took a step back and Daryl’s head hung low again. “Dwight, throw him into his cell.”

Dwight only nodded, dragging Daryl to his feet and pushing him off the room.

“He’s one of a kind, isn’t him?” Negan said, throwing a gripping arm around your shoulders, and you didn’t dare him to say anything. “I want him, and I’m going to get him one way or another.”

“Sounds like you plan on marrying him too.” You joked nervously, hoping to light up the mood, and to your relief, Negan laughed.

“I might! Maybe he’ll like that more.” He chuckled. “Now come on darling, I wasn’t kidding when I said you turned me on, I want to see that fire of yours somewhere else…”

You let him guide you out of the room, trying not to shudder.

*

Next day, you were walking around the Sanctuary, tired of being kept in the wive’s rooms for most of the day, when you caught sight of Daryl. He was moping the floor, untied, though you noticed Dwight close to him. At some point, the man grabbed Daryl by the collar of the shirt to walk him somewhere else. It seemed Negan had decided to actually get Daryl working for him.

Seeing him untied worried you a bit, since you thought he might try to escape again and then Negan might very well kill him, though he seemed too weak and broken to try anything. It still broke your heart. You wanted to yell, and cry, and break stuff. It was like you couldn’t deal with more unfairness, with how horrible everything was in that place, it felt like you couldn’t take it anymore, like you couldn’t deal with it, it didn’t let you breathe…but you didn’t know what to do.

You still didn’t dare to try and run away. You didn’t dare to try to change anything from the inside either. There’d been some quiet talks among some other wives, whispers about how maybe you all together could try and kill Negan without him seeing it coming, but it seemed too dangerous, if Negan saw it coming you all would be worse than dead. And what if you managed? Those Saviors of him would fight for the power and who knew how many people would get hurt in the process, and the new leader could be even worse, even if it was hard to think.

You felt so helpless you wanted to cry.

You glanced at Daryl again, Dwight had him now working sorting something you couldn’t catch while he talked with another Savior, and you had an idea. Maybe you could make Daryl’s life a tiny, tiny bit less harsh…

*

“No. Absolutely-fucking-no! Are you out of your mind?!”

Alright, maybe you should have thought it better before bringing it up to Negan…but now you couldn’t back down.

“Come on! Someone has to clean the infirmary, and we got all those boxes of medicines and medical stuff I wanted to sort, and it’d be nice to have someone helping…”

“And the first person that comes to your mind is him? I’m seriously starting to think you want me to marry him and have a threesome.”

“Yeah, sure.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes as if it was truly ridiculous. “That sounds more like you.”

“Then what’s all this bullshit about Daryl helping you around?” Negan kept eyeing you as if he were sure you were hiding something, though maybe it was your panicked imagination.

“I’ve seen him doing stuff like that! And anyway, that’s all you wanted from him? To have him moping floors? I thought you wanted him as one of yours…”

“That idiot of Dwight doesn’t seem able to get the man to agree.”

“Maybe Dwight doesn’t know how. You heard you catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Maybe treating that man like shit is not going to work, he doesn’t seem to be one to break…” You were afraid you were being too daring, but Negan was listening. “Have him helping me and let me talk to him. I’ll tell him how life here actually is, he’ll see how it can be good. Soon he won’t want to go back to be dragged by Dwight and to keep living in that cell. Let me talk him around. I’ll get him working for you.” You hoped you were sounding convincing, and judging by Negan’s grin, you thought you were.

“And I thought you’d given me enough, doll.” He reached out to stroke your cheek. “I love how eager to please you always are.” He chuckled deeply. “Okay, let’s try it your way. If it doesn’t work…well, Daryl’s going to regret it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some reader and Daryl interaction! What did you think of it? And it seems the girl has some plans in mind to try and help him…in her own way, as best as she can, though well, you know how Negan can be.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	3. Chapter 3

You were sat down at the infirmary, wondering if Negan would actually let Daryl help you, when the door opened and Daryl was pushed inside by Dwight, who kept him grabbed by the collar of the sweatshirt.

“The things you must have done to him in bed to have him agreeing to this bullshit.”He told you venomously, and by that point, you couldn’t even care about your friendship being broken beyond mend.

“Well, I don’t know, he always says I’m not half as good as your ex-wife.” You shrugged. “Anyway, thank you for bringing him here, you can leave now, I don’t want to have to see you for longer than necessary.”

“I’m not leaving this asshole alone here. He could escape, is not like you can do much to stop him.” Dwight scoffed and you glared at him.

“I’m locking the room, I have the key, he can’t open it-”

“Unless he takes it from you. And if he hurts you Negan kills me.”

“He’s not going to hurt me, he knows what happens if he does…right?” You raised your eyebrows at Daryl, silently begging him to go with it.

“Negan cuts my hands and the hands of the ones I love.” He rasped.

“See? He won’t hurt me. Now, don’t you have nothing better to do? Like, go talk to Sherry? Though I think Negan might be getting suspicious…”

“You’re such a bitch…” Dwight growled and you just gave him an obviously fake grin.

“Whatever. Goodbye. Close the door behind you.”

Dwight glared at you but finally he left. You looked at Daryl, unsure about what to do. Even beaten up as he was and seeming so broken, you could see he was strong and bigger than you. It was a bit intimidating to be alone with him.

“I made that up, you know. Negan won’t cut your hands or no one’s else if you hurt me. He would do something, sure, he’d punish you, but I don’t know how…anyway, please don’t hurt me…” You thought you sounded lame but you couldn’t help it. “I’m not going to lock the door but please, don’t try to escape either. Someone would see you and they’d beat you again, and I’d be punished too.” Daryl didn’t say anything, just stared at the ground, peeking up at you a couple of times. You didn’t know what to do. “Sit down? Please?”

It didn’t sound commanding at all, but Daryl did sit down on the chair you pointed to. You decided to explain the job.

“Well, as you can see I have a lot of boxes here.” You pointed at them, some of the Saviors have brought them for you. A few were from runs, others you were sure were stolen… “There’s medicines and medical stuff in them. I’d like to sort it, like, what are they for, date of expiration, stuff like that. And I’d like you to help me.”

Daryl still didn’t say anything, didn’t look at you.

“You can speak, okay? In fact, I’d like it. And also, if you rather not work here, you also can say it, I wouldn’t mind.” He was still silent. “But know that no one’d hurt you while you are here with me. I can’t promise anything once you leave, but I’ll try.”

You could tell Negan you couldn’t have Daryl all beaten and starving if he was going to work helping you, and maybe Negan would listen to you. After all, it seemed to be true when they said now you were the spoilest wife…it made you want to cry.

Negan had listened to you when you asked him to have Daryl working for you, and also when you told him that if you were going to have Daryl helping you in the infirmary, then you needed him to wash first. You hoped that being clean was helping him feel a tiny bit better, and also you knew it’d be good for his open wounds.

“Alright…first thing, I want to check on those injuries, okay?” You switched into nurse more, you felt more comfortable like that than trying to make conversation with Daryl and bossing him around.

You approached the man and reached out to gently push away the wild hair that covered his face. You weren’t surprised when he flinched at it, but then he stood still and didn’t try to pull away from you. His gaze had been on the floor but then he locked eyes with you as you studied his face.

“I won’t join him. You can stop the bullshit,” he rasped, and you let out a sigh.

“I know you won’t.” You could see it, even if Negan and Dwight still seemed to think Daryl’d eventually break, you didn’t think so, no matter what. “I’m not doing this for that.”

“Then what’s this? What you want?” Daryl looked at you with mistrust, but you tried to look at the good side, he hadn’t talked as much before, maybe he might have decided you weren’t that bad…or probably it was just he didn’t see you as a threat.

“I want help with this job, especially dragging and lifting the heavier boxes and all that.” You tried to give him a friendly smile. “Look, Daryl, I know how you feel. But I won’t hurt you, and I don’t want to trick you into anything. I just want your help.”

Daryl just kept looking at you warily and you shrugged, unsure of what to say.

“I guess…I don’t know. I hate this place, I’ve always hated it, I hate everything that happens in here and I just…I feel like I can’t deal with all this anymore…but I don’t know what to do…” Words were pouring out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop them. You didn’t think you’d ever spoken so freely about this with anyone, besides some whispered confessions from wife to wife. “And I hate what they’re doing to you but I can’t stop it either. But maybe this way, having you working here helping me, I don’t know…it felt like I could maybe do something helpful for someone…something good for once, in this hell…” Daryl scoffed but didn’t say anything. “Say what you think. Told you, I want you to speak, and no one’d hurt you here.”

Daryl glanced at you like he didn’t trust you, but finally he shrugged. “You’re married to the man.”

“You think I came running into his arms?” You smiled sadly. “Told you, it’s a job. Like he has you working for him. I wasn’t asked to be a Savior, but I was asked first to be a nurse, then a wife. It’s not that I wanted to.”

“You could have said no. I did.” Daryl seemed to be talking more freely with you now, and you liked it, it was progress, even if his words hurt.

“And look at what they’re doing to you.” You pointed at the awful looking cut on his lip. “Besides, he got you working, didn’t he…and I’m not like you. I’m not brave and strong. I wish I were…but I’m not.” If you were, maybe things could have been different. “I did it for me, so I’d stay alive, I won’t lie. But I did for my people to…”

“Your people?”

“I lived in a community, since the beginning.” You nodded. “It was small, life was good enough, we were sheltered. But Negan found us. Killed our leader, put a Savior on top. He found out I was a nurse, told my people that he wanted them working for him, and me working at the Sanctuary, so he wouldn’t hurt them…And then one day he told me that my people would be even safer if I married him, so…” You shrugged. “I know what Negan is and I hate that I’m his, but I didn’t know what else to do, I don’t care if you believe me or not.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

At first, Daryl didn’t say anything, but then he nodded. “You did it for your people, I get it.” His words surprised you but they made you feel better too. “And it’s for my people that I can’t join him.”

You nodded too, you understood. You wished you were like that, brave, strong and loyal like him. You may not really know Daryl, he might look dangerous, but you thought he was a good man.

“That’s how it is for everyone. Those Saviors who beat you? Most of them like it, I’m not going to lie…but there’re workers who don’t know what else to do, how to survive out there without help, who need medicines or something, or who know Negan will hunt them if they ran away, he does that to Saviors too, you saw how it was with Sherry and Dwight, what wouldn’t he do to workers.” You kept explaining, and though Daryl wasn’t saying anything, it seemed he was listening. “Negan’s wives? Most of them have people in here who they’re trying to protect, who need medicines or something, some wives need medicine themselves and they can’t pay in any other way. We don’t laugh at Negan’s jokes and sleep with the man because we want to. Everyone’s trying to survive, or to protect someone they love. Even Dwight, or he was, once. That’s the way it is.”

Daryl had been looking down, silent, and he nodded. Then he frowned as if thinking something. “So you work for him, and then he doesn’t hurt your people.” He murmured quietly.

It clicked in your brain what he meant by that, and you almost laughed bitterly. It seemed you were making progress in which you’d tell Negan you’d do with Daryl, without meaning too. You weren’t going to have Daryl thinking that, though.

“Not exactly. Your people’s already working for him, Negan won’t do anything to them as long as they keep giving him stuff, not even for you, no matter how much he wants you, he can just keep torturing you until you say yes.” You knew he wouldn’t, though. “Only way he’d use you against them is threatening them to hurt you or kill you if they misbehave. But you don’t have to work for him to keep your people safe. Only to keep yourself safe.”

Daryl nodded, still thoughtful, and then he lifted his gaze from the ground to look at you.

“You’re worse than Dwight at making me say yes to Negan.”

You didn’t know if he was joking darkly or not, but you almost smiled. “Told you, that’s not what I want.” Daryl just nodded at your words, silent, and he barely flinched when you reached out to examine his face again. “Right now, I want to check on you. Though it seems I can’t do much, but these wounds seem to be healing good enough.” He was sill bruised, but that would fade. The cuts would heal too, even though some of them were infected, but nothing severe. “How’s your shoulder.”

“’s good.”

“Okay, can I check it? If you could remove your shirt…” His shoulders and ribs were what worried you more. Daryl seemed to close onto himself at your words, looking down again, and even though you felt he wouldn’t push you away if you removed the sweatshirt, you could see he didn’t want to, and so you didn’t try. “Alright…does it hurt when you move the shoulder?” Daryl shook his head, shrugging his shoulder for you to see. “Good, does something hurt when you breathe deep?”

“Nah.”

“Good. If anything hurts, if you don’t feel good, you tell me okay? I might not be a doctor, but I’m a good nurse, and I’ve learned a lot from watching the doctor. I’ll take care of you.”

Daryl’s eyes snapped up at you at that, frowning, but he didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, can you help me, please? Could you pick up that box and leave it here on the table?”

Daryl did as instructed and you began going through the box, getting stuff out and listing down everything in your notebook. Once you finished, you took the bag you had brought with you and in which you’d smuggled some things from the wive’s rooms, stuff you knew it wouldn’t be noticed. Some peanut butter, jelly, and crackers, and a couple of bottles of water.

“Time for a break. We deserve it after such tedious work. Let’s eat.” You said casually, spreading some peanut and jelly onto a few crackers and opening the bottles of water. You began eating, but Daryl was not joining you, seeming confused and mistrustful. “Please eat. I promised you no one would hurt you here and I mean it, I’m not trying to trick you into anything. No one knows I took these things and no one will, and if they find out I’ll tell them I took them for me cos I was hungry, it’s not a big deal.”

Daryl looked at you warily but eventually, he took a cracker too. You knew they barely fed him. Taking a bottle of water, you pushed Daryl with him gently. He seemed unsure but finally he took it, gulping down almost the whole thing in a long sip. When you were sure Daryl wouldn’t eat more, not that he’d eaten as much as you’d have wanted him to, you put everything back into your bag, making sure to not leave any trace behind. It was one thing that Negan allowed you to have Daryl working for you, but if he found out you fed him, he wouldn’t be happy.

“Alright, back to work, now I have to find boxes to re-store this and see what would be the best way of organizing it…”

You looked around but before you could find anything, the door opened and Dwight walked in. When Daryl saw Dwight he looked down, closing onto himself again.

“I need him to clean the bathrooms.”

“There’s no one else? Like…how many people are you forcing to work in here? I still have a lot of work.”

“He’s not only yours and your time’s up.” Without any other word, Dwight grabbed Daryl’s collar and pushed him towards the door. “Come on.”

“Same hour tomorrow!” You reminded him as he left. “And you better give me more time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There goes the first real interaction between Daryl and reader…wasn’t bad, yeah?
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	4. Chapter 4

Next afternoon, Daryl was allowed to help you again, and you kept working on listing everything that was inside the big box. You found yourself telling Daryl little things about you, to fill the tense silence. Little things about your life in the world before, life now as a wife, even if Daryl didn’t say anything in return. You’d smuggled water and food out of your room again, sharing it with Daryl, and though he still seemed to think that maybe you wanted to trick him, he ended up drinking and eating a bit.

On the next day, when Dwight delivered Daryl into the storeroom of the infirmary, you had ready three smaller boxes on the table next to the big one. First thing you did was tell Daryl to sit down and examine his face again, though it seemed nobody had hit him. Good.

“Okay, let’s work. I’ve written down in each box the things I want to store in them, so let’s sort it.” You began taking stuff from the big box and putting it into the matching box, and soon Daryl’d joined you too.

For a little while, you both worked in a tense silence, until you began talking. You told Daryl more things about your people, that first group you’d been with since the beginning, protected in a small military camp even after the military left, how you all had ended up together there, how you helped each other, how you missed them… Daryl didn’t say anything, but it seemed as if he were listening.

“So Negan protects them?”

You were surprised when Daryl spoke, and even though you knew his words were innocent, it brought tears to your eyes.

“They’re gone now.”

“Negan?”

“I don’t know. He said it was walkers but…” You shrugged.

“Then you ain’t protecting them anymore by being here.” His blue eyes were on you and this time it was you who looked down. “You’re protecting no one but you.”

“What would I do? I told you that he hunts the people who leave…letting go of a nurse and a wife? No way. You saw how he went after Sherry and Dwight, then he married Sherry but still did that to Dwight’s face. I wouldn’t even be able to leave without them seeing me, and even if I were, they’d find me and punish me. And I don’t think I could survive out there anyway, I’ve never done it…”

Daryl said nothing, just kept staring at you, and he wasn’t saying anything but all your feelings of guilt, of helplessness, of isolation, hopelessness, everything built up inside you under his blue harsh gaze, to the point you felt you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Stop judging me! Yes, I’m weak and a coward, I’m not like you, but I can’t help it, I’m scared, I’m always scared!” You felt that lump in your throat again and you hoped you wouldn’t cry and embarrass yourself more. “I don’t want to be here! I hate it, and every day is worse, and every day it feels like I can’t deal with this anymore…” You tried, but you felt tears in your eyes anyway. “And it’s not only about me anymore! But I don’t know what would be worse, stay in here or try to run away. I just… I don’t know, I don’t know what to do!”

Daryl was still silent and wary, though he seemed confused at your outburst.

“I’m pregnant.” You chocked out. “I’m pregnant and I don’t know what’d be worse, having a baby in here knowing they’d become like their father, or running away and having us killed by walkers, that if they don’t find me and bring me back, and in which case, I’m back at having a Negan Jr. and then they kill me.” You rubbed your eyes furiously.

Daryl’s eyes had gone wide at that, surprised, but he still didn’t say anything. You wondered what he might think now. Sure, being pregnant had good things, Negan was more prone to listen to you and give in what you asked, like having Daryl working for you, since he was exultant at the idea of one of his wives finally being pregnant. You knew nobody would hurt you, no matter what you did, not even Negan, at least not until you had his baby…but still, you felt sick at the idea of being carrying Negan’s baby. And you wanted to cry thinking how would be that kid’s upbring, and thinking about them becoming just like their father. It all was too much.

You felt like it was starting to get hard to breathe. It was nothing new, anxiety had been a burden of yours for a long while, and it got worse and worse when you joined the Sanctuary. After finding out you were pregnant, it seemed it’d gotten out of control. You found yourself losing control of your thoughts or feeling, like everything was too much and you couldn’t keep going anymore on a daily basis. It wasn’t the first time that one of the other wives had to talk you out of it, when you felt like you might just not be able to keep breathing, and a couple of times you had fainted. You tried to control it, tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t, you were hyperventilating and at the same time, it felt like you weren’t breathing enough.

“Hey…hey you okay?!” You heard Daryl’s voice but it sounded far away, and your vision was getting blurry, sparkles of bright light dancing in front of your eyes. You leaned against the table for support, feeling like you were going to faint, unable to breathe.

“Y/N! You okay?!” The bright lights didn’t let you see at all now, you barely could hear either, and you felt yourself falling down, but strong hands held you, guiding you to sit down on a chair.

You tried hard not to faint, managing to choke in a breathe, through everything was still blurry. Through the bright lights, you saw Daryl looking from you to the door and then back at you, and then he turned towards the door. Was he trying to escape? He was going be punished and you would too, it was all your fault.

“Wait, hold on here.” You heard his voice through your daze and you realized he was trying to bring someone to help. They’d think he was trying to run away and they’d punish him, you needed to stop him.

“No! Stop! Don’t!” You managed to say weakly and he did so, his worried eyes back on you. You forced yourself to take in another breath, and then another, as you tried to think on things you could see, feel, smell, like another wife had instructed you to do. Slowly, your vision cleared, though your breath was still short.

“I didn’t know you knew my name.” Was the first thing that left your mouth when you felt like you could speak.

“Heard Dwight calling you that,” Daryl replied, and you thought he looked scared.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” You ran a hand through your hair, you’re breath calming more and more. “If I pass out and someone finds you with me like that…” Nothing good could happen to Daryl in that situation, not even if you tried to explain it.

“You sure you don’t wanna call the doctor or someone?” Daryl seemed quite awkward but his eyes were still worried, and you were grateful for it but confused, considering how Negan treated him, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Daryl didn’t give a shit about you, but he’d tried to help you.

“No, no, I’m good.” You tried to assure him, trying to think of something to say. “Just…I guess I haven’t eaten enough…eating for two and all that, you know…”

Daryl didn’t say anything, just keep looking at you, and you didn’t know if he believed you or not. Without a word, you grabbed your bag and took out a bottle of water and a package of biscuits, all that you had managed to smuggle today. You took a long sip and then reached out to give it to Daryl. He still seemed unsure about taking the things you gave him, but finally he took a sip. You opened the package of biscuits, threw one to Daryl, and began nibbling one.

“Shouldn’t you eat pregnant woman food or something?” Daryl murmured, stealing a glance at you before looking down at the ground.

“What is pregnant woman food?” It almost made you smile, much to your surprise, and Daryl shrugged. “I got everything I need, vitamins and whatnot, Negan wants me and the baby healthy.” You had medical checkouts every week, people checking on you all day besides when you were in there working, and whatnot, it was overwhelming. “I got more food than I can eat…” While other people starved in there…you couldn’t blame them if they hated you, even if you were just a prisoner too, they couldn’t see it, and at least you weren’t hurt. “I don’t know if I’m getting fatter because I’m pregnant or because of all the food.”

“You don’t look pregnant.” Daryl stole another look at you.

“I notice it but I think nobody else does.” You shrugged. “I’m three months in, I guess now is when I start to get bigger…”

Daryl just nodded and for a couple of minutes you both ate in silence, though you knew he was stealing glances at you, until he finally spoke.

“There was this woman in my group, long while ago, almost at the beginning, Lori.” He began quietly and you looked at him with curiosity. While you had told him about your people, he had never told you anything about his. “She was pregnant, back when we had nothing, no shelter, no supplies, we were all day moving from place to place. We barely had any food or water, and yet she got really big…”

“Was the baby healthy?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, still kicking.” The corner of Daryl’s mouth curled into the ghost of a smile. It was the first time you saw him smile, though he seemed so sad that it broke your heart. “There was this girl now, Maggie, she was pregnant too, but last time I saw her something was wrong with the baby, and I don’t know how she is.”

“I’m sorry…” You whispered. If that woman was in Daryl’s settlement, maybe you could ask Negan…though probably it wouldn’t be a good idea.

“It was that day, when Negan found us.” You were surprised when Daryl kept talking, and you listened eagerly. “He killed Maggie’s husband. Glenn. Negan had just killed Abraham and he told us to do nothing but I just…I…he was waving the bat at Rosita and I…I went for Negan and so he killed Glenn too.”

You almost couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out to take Daryl’s hand, offering him any comfort. You knew the things Negan did, you had seen it with your people, but still, you felt sick at it.

“Dwight, he says I deserve this. That it was my fault Negan killed Glenn.” Daryl sounded so broken, eyes wet, you knew he believed it, you knew he beat himself about it. It felt like a stab to your heart. So much pain…and there you were, trapped in the center of it all, inside the golden cage, bound to the causer of it all.

“Hey, look at me. Daryl.” You called his name softly until he looked at you. “Don’t. You know why Dwight says that, right? Cos he wants to break you to the point you’ll do whatever Negan wants.” Daryl just shook his head at that, looking down again.

“You didn’t swing that bat. It was Negan. Okay? For all I know, he might have killed your friend no matter what. He does that things, he kills people, terrorize their friends, so they do whatever he wants and they know what he’s capable of.”

Daryl was looking down, head hanging low, and you knew he wasn’t listening. Yet, you could stop yourself from keep trying.

“I know you don’t see it, but you don’t deserve this, and nothing of this was your fault.”

*

You were once again at the storeroom of the infirmary, writing down the stuff that you found in another box while you waited for Dwight to bring Daryl. He’d helped you during another afternoon, but he hadn’t come yesterday, as Negan had taken him with him to his settlement, to show him off and remind to his people that he could hurt him if they misbehaved. You hated it. You were starting to think they wouldn’t bring Daryl today and you were wondering if something had happened, when the door opened and he was pushed inside by Dwight, who didn’t even tell you anything. It seemed you both weren’t in speaking terms anymore. Not that you cared.

You went to check on him but he seemed unharmed. Still, he looked like the Daryl of the first couple of days, head hanging low, eyes trained on the ground. He was like this most of the time when you saw him around the Sanctuary, but you thought he was starting to relax around you a bit.

“Do you want to sit down?” You offered softly, and Daryl didn’t say anything but went to sit on the chair you pointed him. You pushed your chair in front of him and sat down. “Is your people okay?”

“They’re alive,” Daryl said quietly, shrugging.

“And are you okay?” You ventured and Daryl scoffed. “Okay, stupid question…”

For a little while, no one of you said anything, Daryl was looking at the ground and you were unsure of what to say. You decided to just start working, though first you took a water bottle out of your bag, which Daryl ignored, and a couple of cereal bars you’d smuggled. Then, you told Daryl what you wanted to sort today and how, and began rummaging into the box.

“I was there and couldn’t do nothing,” Daryl said ever so softly after a while of sorting medicines. “I did nothing.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” you told him softly but Daryl scoffed.

“Rick asked Negan to let me come back there. He didn’t.”

By what you had heard from Negan, you knew Rick was the leader of the new community he had working for him, Daryl’s people. It seemed Rick was also someone who loved Daryl, but you knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Negan wasn’t going to let Daryl go, no matter what. Not even becoming a Savior would Daryl manage to go back to his family, and you also knew Daryl wasn’t going to give in either.

He seemed so sad and broken again that it made you want to cry. You hated that you had no words of comfort to offer him, but that was what it was. That was life at the Sanctuary. For a little while, Daryl didn’t say anything else, and then he spoke again.

“Maggie, the woman I told you about, the pregnant one…” he began and you nodded, the one who hadn’t been good when Daryl was brought in here. “Negan asked about her…they told him she’d died.”

You felt your heart broke at his words. “Daryl, I’m sorry…” you whispered and Daryl said nothing, head hanging low, eyes lost, and you knew his mind was somewhere else, away from this hellish place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom…so there were some revelations in this chapter. What did you think? Also we had quite a lot of Daryl and reader interaction…
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	5. Chapter 5

There were only a couple of boxes left for sorting, even though you had sorted the medicines and resorted them in all the ways that came to your mind, and it worried you. You weren’t sure how you were going to manage to keep Daryl working for you once that was done. You didn’t know either for how long was Negan going to keep allowing you that, since you weren’t making progress at talking Daryl into becoming a Savior, like you had told him you would. Once Daryl stopped helping you, then there would be no way for you to keep checking on him, to make sure he was okay, healthy and fed.

He was now helping you to go through one box, sorting the medicines according to their expiration date, when you realized he’d an ugly cut on the back of his hand. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking his hand, and Daryl flinched it away, looking at you as if startled.

“Sorry…who did that?”

“I cut my hand with the fence,” Daryl explained, back to rummaging through the box.

“They have you working on the fence now too?” You hated it, it was the most dangerous job, with walkers that could bite you if you weren’t careful or took a step wrong, you knew of a couple of workers who had died that way. Daryl nodded. “I’ll tell them not to.” You could say that now Daryl knew the procedure of sorting the medicines and you couldn’t risk him dying and having to train someone else, or something like that.

“What for?” Daryl scoffed. “So they send someone else instead?”

“I..I…” You stammered, you didn’t know what to say.

“You’re here feeding me cookies and what not so you feel better about yourself, but what about all that other people, you give a shit about them?” Daryl snapped.

“I do…but I can’t help everyone…” You bit your lip, feeling a lump in your throat at his biting tone. You couldn’t talk Negan into giving workers fair, safe jobs, pregnant or not. “I’m sorry…I…”

“Why me?” Daryl cut your ramble, thought you didn’t know if he was angry at you or not.

“I don’t know,” you replied, honestly. You guessed it’d been the timing, Daryl had been brought in when you had felt like you couldn’t keep dealing with it all. Besides, you’d never seen Negan so set into getting someone to work for him, or Dwight trying so hard to torture someone. “But I really can’t do much, I would if I could. I check on people, try to make sure they’re healthy, but Negan controls what I do and what people can’t afford, and there’s nothing I can do…” You wondered how much freedom Daryl thought you had, but it wasn’t much. You were ordered around like any other worker or even Saviors themselves.

Daryl didn’t say anything, but then he let out a long sigh. “I know,” he murmured, and you wondered if it was true, if he could really understand you and your position, or if he was just saying. “A walker almost got me today.”

“No…” You gasped, truly scared at the idea, it was exactly what you had feared.

“I didn’t see it approaching, would have grabbed me if another worker wouldn’t have told me and pulled me back, almost got himself bitten.”

“Shit, Daryl.” You shuddered just thinking about it. Fence job was the one Negan gave to people who had gone against him but who he decided not to kill.

“But…what matters if it bits me?” Daryl shrugged, eyes on the pack of medicines he was playing with. “Dunno…I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m just here working for him and I can’t do nothing…”

You were horrified by what Daryl was saying, even though you were surprised but grateful he was sharing his mind with you. “Please, don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true. It’s stupid, but I kept thinking…I kept thinking that I was going to break out here, kill Negan, or that Rick or anyone else would kill him. That the Saviors and this place would disappear and all this would stop. But that ain’t happening.”

“I’m sorry.” You had no comfort for him, and you felt like crying.

“I got it coming, for what I did to Glenn…” Daryl kept beating himself about that, and you bit your lip so as not to say anything, he didn’t listen. “But the people in Alexandria don’t, they don’t deserve this shit. But I can’t do nothing.” Even with everything that was being done to him, his people were always the first thing in his mind. You admired it.

“I wish I could tell you things’ll get better…” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat. “But I don’t think they will.”

“Yeah…” Daryl nodded, eyes back to the medicines. His fingers had torn the package into tiny pieces, moving nervously as he spoke, but you didn’t say anything about it. You’d never imagined Daryl might open to you, of all people, like that…you liked it, but it broke your heart that you couldn’t do anything for him.

“I know this doesn’t mean much…but I like my life in here more since you’re helping me. I like to work in here, I like to be out of the wive’s rooms, and I like having someone to talk to.” You had the other wives, sure, but it wasn’t the same. “I would hate it if something happened to you…and you’re a good man, Daryl, you don’t deserve any of this.” Daryl looked at you weird and you just shrugged shyly. “Besides, you die in here? Negan puts you to work at the fence as a walker.”

Daryl didn’t say anything to that, and not knowing what to do or what to say, you went back to sorting medicines, stopping when you found a certain one.

“See this? You dissolve one in water, drink it and they heal you if you’re sick…also these ones.” You took another package of different medicines. “But you take too much of both them together…you probably end up dead.” You played with the lid of one of the bottles. “There’s been some talk among some of the wives. They think we could try and kill Negan, that he wouldn’t suspect fromus. They think this could be a way. I think it’s too dangerous, he’s smart, he’ll see it coming…and what if we kill him? There’d be fights for the power, it’d be a bloody madness…but…I know you have it worse than us but you don’t know how’s to live like a wife. And he’s a murderer, what he does to people…so if there’s a way of ending him…” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“You gotta do what’s best to keep your baby safe.” Daryl surprised you by speaking up, his words taking you aback. Not what you expected.

“And what’s that?” You asked, feeling tears in your eyes.

“I don’t know…” Daryl murmured. You didn’t know either.

*

Next day, you finished sorting through the last box, and you decided to begin storing them in order just so you and Daryl could keep working. You had Daryl lifting the heavier ones, storing them on the shelves you’d told him. You took a small one, it was medicines that you thought you’d rarely use, so you decided to store it on top of a shelf. You pushed your chair next to it and stepped up on it, standing on tiptoes to push the box in place.

“The hell are you doing?!”

You were surprised when you heard Daryl’s gruffy voice, louder than he’d ever spoken, and then you felt his hands on your waist, steadying you.

“Putting the box on there?” You finished pushing it and held on Daryl’s arm to step off the chair.

“You’re carrying a baby!” Daryl shook his head at you, letting go of you as soon as your feet were firmly planted on the ground. “What if you fall down?!”

You shrugged, defensive. “I wasn’t going to…besides…would it be so terrible?” The words escaped past your lips, surprising even yourself.

Daryl frowned at you, his eyes getting angry. “Yeah? That’s what you think?” He spat at you, and you didn’t even know if it was what you really thought or not. “Don’t have a baby if you don’t want it, then! You want them to exist knowing you don’t give a shit about them?!” Daryl had snapped at you a couple of times before but he’d never yelled at you like that. It was a bit scary, but mostly you just felt awful about the whole thing, and you couldn’t stop your tears.

“It’s not that! And you think I have any choice anyway? It’s Negan’s, he wants it!” He’d been boasting about one of his wives being pregnant since you found out. “It doesn’t matter what I want! But it’s not that I don’t want it…It’s not that…just…I don’t know. I’m scared.” You whimpered, feeling so helpless again, you didn’t know how to put into words what you were feeling, you weren’t even sure of what you were feeling. You only knew that you were pregnant of your captor, who had terrorized your people, and that you’d have your baby in that dark place.“You know how things are in this place.”

“It’s Negan’s, they’ll be fine in here.” To your relief, Daryl wasn’t yelling anymore, though his eyes were still hard.

You nodded. They’d have a life as luxurious as his father, like the wives but without being a prisoner…or maybe they’d be a prisoner too. You didn’t know, you didn’t think so, Negan liked kids and he was over the moon with this pregnancy thing, but you couldn’t help but be scared anyway. And over everything, they’d be Negan’s, maybe they’d grow up just like their father. You didn’t think you could bear to see your children like that, cruel and merciless.

“That’s the problem, it’s Negan’s.” You rubbed your eyes, trying to stop your tears.

“It’s yours too,” Daryl said, and you weren’t sure of what he meant. You knew they didn’t necessary would be like Negan, they got your genes too, yeah, but Negan’d make sure to raise the kid up to be so, you feared.

“I just wish I could do good by them,” you whispered, placing a hand on top of your belly. “But I don’t know how. I want them to be safe, and I guess being born in here is as safe as they’re gonna be in this world, they’ll have food, shelter, everything… But I wish them to be kind and good, despite the world they live in. And living in this place, I don’t know how I’m gonna achieve that.”

Before any of you could say anything else, the door opened and Dwight walked in. He looked at your tear-stained face and you feared he might think Daryl had done something. You tried to come up with something to say but Dwight just scoffed.

“Whatever it was you had it coming anyway.”

You noticed Daryl’s eyes getting angry at that, and he turned as if to say something to Dwight but you shook your head. If he snapped at Dwight, there was no way he wouldn’t end up hurt.

“We haven’t even started today, you’re early.” You complained, but Dwight was already grabbing Daryl by the collar of the shirt to push him to the door.

“Negan asked for him.”

“What for?” You tried not to sound as scared as you felt. Maybe Negan had decided he didn’t want to give you more time and was going to ask Daryl if he’d be a savior. Daryl would say no, and what would Negan do then… Or maybe something had happened with Daryl’s people and he was going to be punished for it…

“Not your business.” Dwight pushed Daryl outside with him and slammed the door closed.

You considered following them, but you knew Negan wouldn’t appreciate you being all in his business, besides, you didn’t want him to think you were too involved with Daryl. You waited inside the storeroom for a bit but then you went outside to see if you could find out what was going on.

You blinked in surprise at the agitation that was going through the Sanctuary, and that you had missed. Apparently, someone from Alexandria had managed to get in, you didn’t know how, and had killed some Saviors. You made your way to the outside, where you could see some trucks getting ready to leave, along with Negan’s car. He was there too, pushing a kid into his car. You ran towards them, confused, but they left before you reached them. You noticed Daryl looking at them, seeming worried.

“It’s one of yours?” You asked him and he nodded, eyes on the caravan of vehicles.

You didn’t think Negan would hurt a kid, but you weren’t sure enough to promise Daryl he wouldn’t. It depended if Negan considered it necessary or not. “I’m sure everything will be good.” You didn’t know if Daryl was listening to you, but Dwight approached and you took a step away from Daryl. “What’s going on?” You demanded from Dwight.

“That kid jumped out of one of our trucks, shot every man he could. Negan’s bringing him back to his father.” It didn’t sound good at all. You could just hope nobody’d end up hurt. “Come on, finish that.” Dwight turned his attention to Daryl, pushing him towards the fence, before looking back at you. “You shouldn’t be out here, Negan doesn’t like it. Come on, get inside.”

You stole a glance at Daryl but nodded. You didn’t see the point on trying to argue, nobody would listen, and so you made your way inside and towards the wive’s rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	6. Chapter 6

“What are you doing?!”

You had just caught Sherry smuggling things into a bag like you would do before going to the infirmary’s storeroom to work with Daryl, though she was getting in more than you’d have ever dared, enough to last a few days. That wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“I’m leaving,” the woman replied hushedly.

“What? Where?”

“Out of here.” Sherry closed her bag and looked at you. “I can’t live in here anymore. I can’t keep playing with Negan, I can’t keep seeing Dwight like that, it’s all my fault. I can’t stay in here anymore. I know you can’t either.”

“They’ll see you! They’ll go after you again, they’ll bring you back and they’ll punish you!” You understood Sherry but it was too dangerous. “Maybe he’ll kill you this time!”

“I don’t care, it’d be worthy.” Sherry shook her head, stubborn. “Besides, I have everything planned, I’ve been planning it for a while now. They won’t see me, and they won’t find out today. You won’t tell them, will you?”

“Of course not!” Still, you were afraid of what might happen to Sherry once Negan noticed she was missing. Still, if she was set on leaving and you couldn’t stop her, then you’d cover for her for as long as you could.

“Y/N, you should come.”

“What?” You blinked at Sherry, dumbfounded.

“I know you hate being here too, you said you didn’t think you could keep dealing with this.” You had confessed it to her during an anxiety attack. “Today we could leave this place for good. At least we could try.”

“It’s too dangerous, I told you, they could find us, they’ll search for us nonstop, and when they find us…” You shuddered and placed your hand on your belly. It was tempting, but you couldn’t. “I can’t, you know I can’t think only on me.”

“That’s more reason to leave. You want to have a baby in here? Growing up in here? With him? You know he’ll make sure it’s his, not yours.”

You knew, you felt like that too, but still, trying to leave sounded too dangerous. They’d find you and they’d throw you into a cell, kept alive and healthy until your baby was born and then they’d take your baby away from you and you wouldn’t see them anymore, wouldn’t be there to care for them…you were too scared to try to escape.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.” You whimpered.

“Alright. I wish you came though.” Sherry teared up a bit but she rubbed her eyes. “I have to go, but if you change your mind…” She rummaged into her pocket and handed you a piece of paper. “I have written here all the Sanctuary spots with less vigilance, the change of shifts, who covers which shift, everything. I’ve memorized it, I don’t need it, but I want you to have it, you know, just in case…”

“Thank you…” You took the paper, feeling tears in your eyes. You wished you were as brave, but you couldn’t stop thinking about everything that could be wrong. “Please, be careful. I’m going to miss you so much but I hope I won’t ever see you here again.”

“Me too.” Sherry chuckled sadly and wrapped his arms around you for a brief hug. “Also, I know what you’ve been doing for Daryl. He’s a good man. I’m going to try to help him.”

“What…how?”

“I stole it from Dwight, he didn’t notice.” Sherry took a key out of her pocket. “It’s from his cell. I’ll push it under his door, give him a chance.”

You nodded. You were scared of Daryl risking it too, if they caught him he’d be punished and maybe even killed. But you also knew Daryl probably would rather die trying to escape that keep being captive in there, even if it broke your heart.

Without saying anything else, Sherry rushed away.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Sherry’s words, wondering if you’d made a huge mistake not going with her. But could you risk it? It was too dangerous, even if they didn’t see you leaving, they’d go after you once they noticed it and they’d find you and punish you. And yet…

Was it worth a try, as Sherry’d said? Would it be worth risking it, trying to run away, if that meant maybe getting a chance of freeing yourself from Negan and raise your baby far from there? You didn’t know. You knew what would Sherry and Daryl say.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it all. Negan might find you if you ran away, but what would he do? He wouldn’t hurt his baby. He’d keep you safe and healthy, no matter what, at least until the baby was born. Then he’d take the baby away from you and he’d punish you or kill you. But you didn’t know what was better, keep living in that place or die trying to run away? You didn’t know. What would be worse, leaving your baby without his mother or not trying to get him away from there and Negan? You didn’t know either.

You looked around at your golden cell and at some of the wives. Even if you were killed, your baby would for sure had a mother, someone to look after them who weren’t Negan or Saviors…so maybe if you were punished and killed for trying to run away if you didn’t manage it, it wouldn’t be so bad for the baby.

That, if you didn’t die trying. If you didn’t get yourself killed by a walker, of hunger, of exposition…then your baby would die, either after or before they were born. Could you look after them out there? You didn’t think you could survive out there…

You heard Amber sobbing on a sofa. Just the day before, Negan had burnt her boyfriend’s face for suspecting he and Amber were still seeing each other. Right now the boy was battling an infection, and you weren’t sure he’d pull through. Amy was so devastated it broke your heart. You felt sick to your stomach. You hated Negan and that horrible place.

No, no. You couldn’t stay in there. You couldn’t keep dealing with it all, you couldn’t take it anymore.

How could you leave now, alone? You should have gone with Sherry. You weren’t sure you could do it on your own. You weren’t sure you would survive out there. You wondered…had she really given Daryl the key of the cell? Would he try to escape? And if he would…would he took you with him, if you tried to run away too? And would you go with him? You knew he could survive out there, would he help you? Would he want to? You had trusted he wouldn’t hurt you while working with him alone, but you were Negan’s wive, carrying his baby, wouldn’t he try to use that for his benefit? Or maybe their people? Maybe they’d want to pay with you what Negan had done to them…

But you couldn’t see Daryl like that. Sure, maybe you didn’t really know him, and yet, you felt he was a good man. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you…who maybe would help you be safe out there…you didn’t know…

You took a last glance at Amber while she kept crying and you made your decision. You couldn’t stay in that hell of a Sanctuary any longer. You couldn’t have your baby growing up there, not if there was a chance you could escape the place.

Trying not to catch attention onto you, you left the room. You didn’t even dare to take food or anything. As you walked through the corridors you kept calling yourself an idiot, you should have left with Sherry, she had food and all…

Maybe Daryl had already left too, maybe you wouldn’t find him. Or maybe Sherry and him had left together. Or maybe he wouldn’t dare to try…Or maybe they had already been caught…

You made your way to his cell but your questions were answered before reaching it, as you saw the door of a room opening and Daryl rushing out. You yelped, startled, before realizing it was him. He seemed surprised to find someone too, before noticing it was you. Before you could say anything, he’d grabbed your arm and pushed you into the room with him.

“It was you?” He demanded before you even had time to breathe. “It’s some sort of trick?” He threw a piece of paper at you and you saw it was a note from Sherry, though it wasn’t signed.

“It was Sherry,” you explained, your voice shaky and scared. “She has run away, said she’d help you too. And also she gave me this.” You took the paper in which Sherry’d written the guard shifts and gave it to Daryl, who began reading it quickly. You took a deep breath, tried to be brave, and stepped closer to him. “Help me out of here, please, Daryl.” His eyes snapped up at you at that, frowning. “I can’t stay in here any longer. But I don’t think I can make it on my own. Let me go with you…please?”

Daryl frowned at you, looking at you in silence for what felt eternal to you, before finally speaking. “You sure?” You nodded your head quick, even though your heart was beating fast, scared. Daryl looked at you up and down again but finally nodded. “Come on.”

“Wait!” You took Daryl’s arm and pointed at the piece of paper. “See this guard here? Joe? He’s not very good at his job, he’d left the door unattended a few times before but he’s lucky Negan didn’t catch him, I think it could be our best shot.”

“Okay…”

You followed Daryl as quietly as possible, navigating through the Sanctuary corridors, your heart in your throat, expecting to find a savior in each corner, but you both managed to reach the door without finding trouble.

“Wait.” You stopped Daryl when he was about to open the door. “I’ll go first, if there’s someone they’ll suspect less from me.”

Daryl seemed doubtful but then he nodded, letting you step in front of him. You took a deep breath and opened the door. You peered outside but Joe didn’t seem to be there, neither anyone else. “Come on,” you whispered to Daryl.

You hadn’t even walked a few steps when Joe showed up, unarmed and seeming oblivious to everything. Damn it, damn it. You made sure to stay in front of Daryl, in case Joe took his gun, he wouldn’t dare to shot Negan’s pregnant wife. You noticed how scared he seemed as he spotted you, though, as he raised his arms above his head. You looked back and realized Daryl had grabbed a metal pipe from somewhere, a scary, wild look in his eyes.

“Please, no, please,” Joe begged. “Please, you can leave, I don’t care. But she has to stay, Negan would kill me if she’s missing.”

“Joe, I’m leaving,” you said firmly, though Daryl was already stepping in front of you, raising the pipe. “Don’t try to stop us okay?”

“Alright, alright! I won’t try to stop you!”

Joe seemed even more scared as Daryl approached, and despite his words, Daryl raised the pipe and bashed it into Joe’s skull. You clasped a hand over your mouth to muffle the scream that you couldn’t help but let out. Joe wasn’t moving anymore but Daryl kept hitting him and hitting him, and you tried not to get overcome by an anxiety attack, tried to control how your stomach turned. You knew Joe had done things as vile as any other savior, that he probably had beaten up Daryl, but still, you were horrified.

“Daryl…” You tried to be brave and approached him, grabbing his arm to stop him. “Daryl, please, stop, we have to leave, please.”

Daryl stopped, turning to look at you, eyes still wild and dangerous, his face splashed with blood. You couldn’t help but be scared. After that first day working with him, you’d been sure Daryl wouldn’t hurt you, but you had never seen him like this. Still, you could see something else behind his eyes, something vulnerable. You couldn’t help but be scared, but you also couldn’t help but trust he wouldn’t hurt you.

He was breathing hard but he seemed to slowly come back to himself as he looked at you. He nodded and looked around, spotting the bikes that were parked there, but before any of you did anything, a voice called for him.

“Daryl…”

You followed the voice and found a man with long hair and clear eyes, looking at you both. You were pretty sure he wasn’t a Savior and you were confused, but Daryl didn’t seem to consider him a threat.

“I’ve got the keys.” The man looked from Daryl to the body of Joe, but he nodded towards the bikes that were parked near before his eyes found you. “Who’s that?”

Daryl looked at you and then at Jesus, and suddenly you were afraid of what Daryl might say, what that other man would think of you. He and Daryl seemed to know each other…maybe they’d leave you there now?

“Another prisoner. She’s pregnant. We gotta take her out of here too.”

You looked at Daryl. He hadn’t lied, not really, but he hadn’t said the biggest truth. You didn’t look forward to do it either.

The man frowned at you but nodded. “Alright… I’m Jesus. Come on.”

You wondered what he might think of you, how you must look, with your short black dress, your thighs with a rip that was getting bigger and bigger, and barefoot, since you had discarded your heels so you could move faster and silent. You must look terrified and out of sorts too, and Jesus gave you a kind smile.

Daryl and you followed that Jesus man to the bikes. Before you could ask what you were going to do, since you only had one set of keys and you three couldn’t go on one bike, Daryl took the knife from Jesus’ belt and began trying to hotwire one. You looked around anxiously, waiting for Saviors to come out of nowhere at any given moment, but it took Daryl less than what you were expecting to get the bike going.

“Come on,” he nodded towards you as he got on the bike, Jesus doing the same with the other one.

You’d never rode on a bike, and it seemed intimidating, but you went to sit down behind Daryl on the bike. The proximity to him was strange too, but as he kicked the bike into motion, you couldn’t help but place your hands on his waist, holding to him, fingers biting into his sweatshirt, and you felt Daryl tensing.

“Sorry…” You murmured to him, trying to relax your grip on him. “I’ve never been on a bike…”

“It’s okay.” You felt Daryl relax. “Just hold on, you’ll be okay.”

You didn’t relax until a while of riding, though, and your apprehension was back when you spotted the settlement where you guessed you were headed. It was bigger than your old camp, with a big, impressive mansion standing in the middle.

“I’m going to tell the guards, Maggie’s not going to believe this,” Jesus said as he stopped the bike, a big smile on his face.

“Maggie?” Could she be the girl Daryl’d told you about? “Maggie the pregnant one?”

“Maggie the pregnant one? I don’t think nobody calls her that.” Jesus looked at you, seeming confused but also amused. “But yeah, she’s pregnant.”

You looked at Daryl at that, smiling. “She’s alive!” Daryl didn’t say anything, didn’t smile, just kept his gaze down as he seemed to process it all. You guessed he needed time, after everything he’d gone through.

Jesus looked at you both but didn’t say anything, rushing to the place and disappearing from view. He’d seemed like a good man, but still, you couldn’t help but be anxious about what might happen now…will you be taken into that community? Would you be sent back to the Sanctuary as a goodwill offering? Would they punish you for what Negan had done to them? You didn’t know… You looked at Daryl through the corner of your eye. He’d helped you and had ensured you’d come with him to the settlement, but still, if the people didn’t want you there, you couldn’t expect him to back you up and made them take you in. You couldn’t help it, maybe you shouldn’t trust he’d keep helping you like that, he’d no reason to do so, and yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they are out! I’m sorry if this chapter was disappointing, I feel it’ll be, let me know your thoughts? I think people are becoming disinterested in this, and I understand, so thanks to all of you who are still reading, and to the ones who leave me comments and make me feel better!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	7. Chapter 7

Jesus was soon back, a woman walking in front of him, running to Daryl when she spotted him. You couldn’t help your smile when you saw her grinning as he reached Daryl’s side, though he was still looking down, but Maggie didn’t seem to care, reaching out to wrap her arms around him. Daryl didn’t move to hug her back, though, he even seemed to stiff a bit.

“It’s so good to have you back and out of there,” Maggie said, frowning when Daryl still didn’t say anything or looked at her. She opened her mouth again but seemed to decide to let it go for now, and she turned to you. Even though she seemed nice, you couldn’t help but be a bit afraid. “Hi, I’m Maggie. Jesus told me you were a prisoner at the Sanctuary too, and that you’re pregnant. Are you okay? Do you want the doctor to check you?”

“No, no, I’m good. Thank you” Maggie’s kind smile and her genuine seeming concern made you relax a bit, even though you were embarrassed when she looked you up and down at your outfit. “Are you the leader here?”

“No, that’s Gregory.” Maggie’s tone and face changed at that, and she rolled her eyes, seeming annoyed. Gregory…yes, you thought you’d heard Negan said something about him, he was under the control of the Saviors too.

“And he better doesn’t know anything about this,” Jesus added. If Gregory worked for the Saviors, then you didn’t want to see him. “Anyway, Maggie’s going to be leading here in no time, so…”

“You seem too sure about that.” Maggie scoffed, friendly punching Jesus’ arm, though you saw her smile was back. “Come on, let’s get in.”

You all went to a trailer where you found another woman and a teen who also grinned in disbelieve when they saw Daryl, going to greet him, but Daryl was still looking down and saying nothing.

“We aren’t all going to fit in my trailer,” Jesus frowned looking at it. “This one’s empty too, guess nobody would mind. I’ll get you both some clothes too.”

Not even an hour later you’d washed and were now wearing fresh clothes that weren’t a little dress but some comfy trousers and a loose oversized shirt. You felt so much better already.

You were sat down on the stairs of a trailer, looking around. You couldn’t believe it. You were out of the Sanctuary. You were alive. You’d made it. You were free. And that place was unbelievable. There were orchards and crops, farm animals…nothing grew in the Sanctuary, and there weren’t animals. You wondered if they would mind it if you were to stroke the horses and cows.

Jesus, Maggie, and Sasha were at the outside of the other trailer, talking about something as they pointed things in some papers. You felt self-conscious about joining them, you didn’t want to intrude and they were doing enough, and they seemed to want to give you some space, though they’d been making sure you were actually alright. Daryl was sat down on a log at the back of the trailers, still not talking to his friends. You went back and forth about it for a bit, but finally you decided to join him.

“Hello,” you greeted and Daryl only grunted as a response, not looking up at you. You chewed on your lower lip anxiously but decided to say what you’d gone there to say. “Thank you. For helping me out of that place, for taking me here…I can’t believe I’m really free of it all…” You knew they’d look for you, that you might always live in fear of they finding you but still, you couldn’t believe you were out of the walls of the Sanctuary after so long. “Thank you.”

Daryl just shrugged and nodded, silent, eyes on the knife with which he was carving patters on the wood of the log. You had thought Daryl would be happy of being free, of being out of the Sanctuary and his cell, happy to be back with his friends. But it didn’t look like it.

“There’s something wrong?” You ventured softly, but Daryl didn’t do anything, didn’t say a word or looked at you and so you decided to leave him alone, though it worried you.

You went back to sit down on the stairs of the trailer and looked around. You went back and forth between enjoying the fresh, free air, everything around you, and to worry about the future and how your life was going to be now. At some point, Sasha and Jesus left to do you didn’t know what, and you decided to approach Maggie, you wanted to talk with her alone. You wanted to thank her, but you also felt like you needed to come clean with her…though you were scared about what she might think and what she might do about it…would she pay on you what Negan had done to her? She didn’t strike you like that kind of person but you couldn’t be sure…maybe you’d be kicked out and that time you wouldn’t have Daryl to help you…

Still, you didn’t want to lie to the people who had treated you so kindly. And if somehow they found out through someone who wasn’t you, it’d be worse. And so you approached Maggie, sitting down on the table next to her.

“Are you doing okay?” She asked you with a kind smile.

“Yes, more than okay, I still can’t believe I’m out of there, thank you.” Maggie reached out to squeeze your hand softly at that. “I just…I…I wanted to talk to you about something…I know Daryl said I was a prisoner in here, and I was, but I was more things.”

“What you mean?”

“Well, for starters, I’m a nurse, and I worked as a nurse in the Sanctuary. That’s the first reason why Negan took me when he first terrorized my group. There’re a lot of workers at the Sanctuary, not only Saviors, people who had nothing or can’t survive out there, people who need medicines or anything like that, that Negan can provide, people who want to protect other people… as an exchange they have to work for him.” You explained. “Or like me, people who could be a valuable addition and are taken from their community as an exchange of safety for their people.”

“Alright…” Maggie was frowning, deep in thought as she listened to you. “Where’s your people? Would you like to go with them? Would they help us fight Negan?”

“They’re gone now…” You felt that familiar lump in your throat.

“Oh…I’m sorry…”

“Yeah well…anyway…being a nurse wasn’t my only job in there… I was also one of Negan’s wives.” You could see Maggie’s wide, surprised eyes, and you thought she might say something, but then she let you keep going. “He’s got several women as wives. If you want to make sure you or your people will be safe, if you want to protect someone, if you or someone of your family need medicines or medical treatment or something special that Negan has, or if they can’t do hard jobs…then Negan is going to ask you to be his wife. I was one…”

Maggie seemed to be thinking about it all, silent for a little while, and then she looked back at you. “Can’t have been easy, being with him like that.”

You almost cried out of relief at Maggie’s words. “The baby is his,” you whimpered, losing the fight against the tears, and Maggie reached out to hold your hand, seeming sympathetic but at loss of words. “He’s going to be looking for me, he goes after everyone who tries to leave. He’s not going to let this baby go. He’s going to come for me.”

“Hey,” Maggie squeezed your hand, making you look at her. “He doesn’t know you’re here, and we’re not going to let him take you or your baby.

“Thank you…” You gave Maggie a grateful smile, trying to calm down. You had gotten lucky, you knew it. Barely anyone managed to escape the Sanctuary, you knew it, you owed it to Sherry and Daryl. And although you knew Saviors would be looking for you, it seemed you had been accepted by a group of people who would hide you from them. It was all you could have asked for. “And well…as I said, I’m a nurse. So I’d be happy to work here for Hilltop, help around…”

“That’d be good, but for today I think you should rest, tomorrow I’ll introduce you to the doctor and everything.” Maggie’s eyes landed on your belly. “How further are you?”

“About three months, maybe a bit more…” You pulled at your shirt but there was no baby bump at all yet, you still thought the only difference was that you looked fatter than a couple of months ago, not cute bump or nothing. “But I’m not really showing…”

“I’m about three months too, I think!” Maggie smiled. “And not showing either…” Maggie’s stomach was way flatter than yours, and you wouldn’t have guessed she was pregnant if you hadn’t known it already.

“Were you nauseous? Cos I was warned I might get nauseous during the first trimester but I didn’t.” You hadn’t talked much about pregnancy or babies before, not even with the other wives, as it made you all sad, but now you felt like talking to Maggie. “But I was so tired, I was napping all the time.”

“I wasn’t tired or had nauseas…but the timing for me to get pregnant wasn’t ideal, for the first couple of weeks we barely had nothing…so maybe my body knew I couldn’t afford that, until we got to Alexandria.” Maggie let out a sigh and you bit your lip, feeling guilty. You’d had everything you needed and more, whereas she seemed to have had a rough time. “And now what I notice is that I’m so hungry all the time! I could eat a whole cow!” She laughed. “Seriously, I’ve never eaten this much. And I can smell everything!”

“I’m more sensitive to smells now too, but mostly they turn my stomach…though whatever is this that I’m smelling, it’s good.” You sniffed around and Maggie laughed again.

“Dinner, Enid’s probably cooking something.” Maggie sniffed too. “Something with beans…and I think veggies too.”

“Okay, I’m not that good at it!”

Soon you were helping set the table and you joined Maggie, Enid, Sasha, and Jesus for dinner, a stew of beans with some stir-fried veggies. Daryl was not joining you, not matter Maggie called for him, and you saw her frowning, seeming worried. She took a plate of stew and walked to give it to Daryl, who didn’t look up at her, and so Maggie left the plate next to him on the log.

“You know what’s wrong with him?” She asked you once she was back and you sighed, not sure about how to put it into words.

“He was tortured at the Sanctuary. They did things to him, horrible things…I tried to help a bit but it wasn’t like I could tell Negan to let him go or anything like that, but at least I could check on him, make sure he wasn’t too injured or that he didn’t starve…” You weren’t sure you had done enough, though neither you knew if you could have done more. “They said things to him too…I think he feels guilty about what happened that day Negan found you all. He just…he had a really rough time in that place…”

Maggie nodded, seeming thoughtful. You could see her exchanging a look with Jesus, who seemed worried too, but neither of them seemed to know what to do. Sasha seemed to be very focused on her food, though the way in which she stabbed her veggies made it seem like she was putting down walkers more than eating. She seemed to be angry, and you hoped it wasn’t at Daryl.

“Daryl’s a good man, and a better friend. I’m glad you helped him.” Maggie gave you a sad smile.

“I didn’t do much…” You shrugged. “And he helped me to get out of there, I wouldn’t have made it without him…” And you both owed it to Sherry…you could only hope she was safe wherever she was. “And thank you too.” You nodded at Jesus, smiling sadly, and he just shrugged but gave you a kind smile.

Later, when everyone began to go back into the trailers, you went to sit down on the stairs of the trailer that you seemed to share with Daryl and Sasha. You took a deep breath of fresh air and closed your eyes. You could hear people talking quietly not far from there, and a cow moving in her stable. Everything was still unreal. You were out and away from the Sanctuary. You were free… You opened your eyes again and in the darkness, you spotted Daryl still sitting on that log.

You only had seen him moving to wash his plate after eating. He hadn’t joined his friends, and he was still silent. It almost seemed like he wasn’t happy. His friends seemed to be giving him space, and you knew you should too, you didn’t really know him, and yet, you found yourself getting up and walking to him after feeling yet again that pang of sadness in your heart seeing him there alone in the darkness. You sat down next to him in silence, and Daryl looked at you as you did so, but neither he said anything.

“Your home, Alexandria, it’s similar to this?” You asked after a while of thinking what to say without coming up with anything.

“Nah. We don’t have stables, or that fancy mansion.” Daryl surprised you by speaking. “We got houses, not trailers, the fancy kind. We don’t have crops, Maggie wanted to plant stuff, but we didn’t have time.”

You nodded to him, wondering if he missed his home and the friends that were there, and maybe that was why he was feeling like that. But still, the friends he’d in there seemed happy to see him and relieved he was free, Maggie seemed to really care for him, and yet Daryl was keeping himself away from them.

“So…you’re gonna head back to Alexandria?” You wondered why you might do then. These new people seemed really kind and nice, the place was ideal, and you liked Maggie a lot even though you had just met them, but you didn’t feel with them the way you felt around Daryl, the way you’d trusted him not to hurt you when he first began helping you and then trusting he’d help you escape and keep you safe, as he had done. Would you want to leave with him if he did? You weren’t sure…but most importantly, you weren’t sure he’d want you to.

“Dunno. I’ve been thinking ‘bout it.” Daryl shrugged. He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke, but still, you were as glad as you were surprised he was talking to you and sharing his mind. “But it’s the first place Saviors would go looking for me. He doesn’t know we had a deal with Hilltop though.”

You nodded, it’d be better for Daryl and his people if he lied low, and he couldn’t be found in his community or Negan…you didn’t want to think what he’d do to them. Though, you didn’t know if it’d be ever safe for Daryl to go back to Alexandria, controlled by Negan as it was, though Hilltop was under him too. There was no safe place for Daryl and you, not really…though you rather not think about it, you felt your chest hurt when you did, and your lungs seemed to close.

“I wonder where they’re looking for me…maybe they’d check the communities for me too?” Or maybe they might think you’d died out there…or that you had gone back to your old settlement since it was the only place you’d known besides the Sanctuary.

“They won’t find you, Maggie’ll make sure. You’ll be good.”

You nodded, though you didn’t want to cause any trouble or put Hilltop in danger. You stole a look at Daryl, silent for a while before asking him what you really wanted to. “There’s something wrong? You don’t seem…I don’t know…aren’t you’re happy you’re free and back here, with Maggie alive and all?”

“Course I am,” Daryl snapped.

“Then what’s wrong?” You ventured softly.

“Ain’t nothing wrong.” Daryl shrugged, silent for a bit before speaking again. “Maggie. She shouldn’t be happy I’m here. You know what I did to her, to Glenn. Ain’t no way I can change that, can’t do nothing. It’s all my fault.”

“Daryl, Maggie doesn’t blame you, and you shouldn’t either.” It pained you to hear him talk like that. “You’re family to her, and she’s really worried about you.” Daryl didn’t say anything to that, head hanging low, eyes on the ground. “She’s planning on fighting the Saviors…”

“We should. I will. I’ll kill all of them.” Daryl growled. You should have guessed he wanted to, you’d been an idiot thinking he might help you to change Maggie’s mind. But you were scared thinking about what the consequences of fighting the Saviors could be for this community. You couldn’t see how they could win the fight against the Saviors, no matter how much as you wanted them to. Negan had more people, more guns, you had seen how invincible they were…you didn’t want Daryl, Maggie, and anyone else to die, you didn’t want this community to suffer, no matter you understood why they wanted to fight back.

“Anyway…you should really talk to Maggie…”

“Don’t feel like talking.”

“You’re talking to me…”

“Ain’t the same.” Daryl shrugged and he took his knife again to fidget with it for a couple of minutes, making you bit your tongue so as not to tell him to stop before he cut himself. “It’s easy to talk to you. Don’t know why.”

His whispered words stunned you into silence. You hadn’t expected something like that, and you didn’t know what to think, but you were pleased. You couldn’t help the smile that played on your lips.

“It’s easy to talk to you too,” you said shyly.

Daryl was silent for another couple of minutes and then he finally stopped looking at the ground, eyes focusing on you, and you found it was you who couldn’t hold his gaze.

“You ain’t scared of me? Why?”

“What you mean?” You frowned, confused.

“Before…when…when I did that, to the Savior…” Daryl’s gaze was cast down again. “I saw your face. You were terrified. Yet you got on a bike with me, sit down next to me.”

“I was terrified of a lot of things…” Like the Saviors finding you but yes, also of what Daryl’d done. “And you were scary…but I didn’t think you’d hurt me? I know why you did that…but you didn’t have to, Joe was a coward and he was going to let us go…” You looked at Daryl anxiously, wondering if he might be upset with you at that.

“He might, then he’d have gone tell everyone else we were leaving, and that you were with me,” Daryl said, and you guessed you hadn’t thought about that. Then he looked at you briefly, seeming to be considering something before speaking again. “But I wanted to do it. He had it coming.”

You nodded…you guessed he did, but still, you couldn’t help your feelings about the death. “Still don’t think you’d hurt me…”

“I won’t. But I’m gonna kill all the Saviors I can.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, and so you said nothing. You understood Daryl’s reasons, but you hated the killing anyway…and you were scared of what it might bring.

“Why you weren’t scared to be alone with me, back at the Sanctuary? I could have killed you and escape.” Daryl asked.

“I trusted you wouldn’t dare too, knowing what Negan would do to you…” You shrugged. “And then I kind of trusted you wouldn’t just because…I don’t know…thought you were a good guy, it didn’t feel as if you might hurt me. Besides Sherry told me you were good, that you helped her and Dwight.”

“Yeah, and do you know what they did when I helped them?” Daryl scoffed and you nodded, Sherry had told you.

“Sherry regretted it, that’s why she helped you out…”

“I ain’t helping no one no more. You can’t trust people,” Daryl said bitterly.

“Well, I trusted you. And you helped me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…she met Maggie! And Daryl is all moody and sad…
> 
> s always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	8. Chapter 8

You were sat down at one of the picnic tables, watching the sunset and smelling food getting ready for dinner. It’d been a long day, busier than you were used to anymore, and you were dead on your feet. You’d been introduced to the doctor, who had allowed you to work with him, and then you had done some routinary checkouts to some people to get used to his way of working.

Then, you had been telling Sasha everything you knew about the Sanctuary. Like everyone, she seemed to be set on the idea of fighting the Saviors and killing Negan, but she seemed as obsessed with it as Daryl. In exchange, and after knowing you’d never wielded a weapon, Sasha began training you with the knife. You’d seen the basic moves today, and still those were difficult to achieve, and also she’d told you about the best ways to end a walker with a knife, which you were more than grateful for, and the best ways to end a human, alive being, you weren’t sure what to think of that. 

Now you had a knife for yourself, that Jesus had gotten you, and you were trying to slowly review the moves Sasha had taught you, when you noticed Daryl approaching the trailers. He’d been out for the most part of the day, which had worried you. Maggie’d told you he just needed sometime out of the fences, that he was like that, and not to worry, he’d be fine, though you knew she was worried about him too.

As he walked closer you realized there was a rabbit hanging from his belt. He didn’t approach you, walking to the back of the trailers instead. You didn’t know if you were welcome to join him, but you decided to try after not having seen him for the whole day. You felt like you had a connection to him, as if you knew him for longer than you did, and you guessed it was because of the circumstances under which you two had met, and because it was him who had helped you out and taken you to this place…you weren’t sure Daryl felt that way, though, but his words telling you that it was easy to talk to you brought a smile to your face whenever you remembered them. You liked it, talking with him.

You sat down next to him as he took the rabbit off the belt, though he didn’t acknowledge you, but you didn’t care.

“You hunt that?”

Daryl hummed a yes. “With a trap, don’t like hunting with traps. But Dwight took my crossbow.” You could notice the anger in his voice when he talked about Dwight, and you weren’t fond of the man either. “And Negan has taken every gun from this place.”

“Still, I think it’s impressive you caught that, trap or not,” you said, and Daryl just shrugged. He took out his knife and placed the rabbit on the log. “You’re gonna skin it?” Daryl hummed a yes and you decided to watch and see if you could learn something new, but as Daryl began you felt your stomach turn.

“Alright, I’m leaving before I throw up on your rabbit.” You overcame a wave of nausea and got up, looking away.

“Thought you were a nurse?”

“This has never happened to me before!” You were a bit offended. “I guess it’s the pregnancy or something…”

Luckily you hadn’t had issues fixing patients. Daryl didn’t say anything else and you decided to leave him alone cleaning the rabbit before you actually threw up.

The food that you were served was as good as always, but your stomach was still upset, making you eat less than you’d have wanted to. You gave Maggie what you couldn’t eat, watching her with well-meant envy as she swallowed down bite after bite. You saw Daryl walking to leave the rabbit he’d gotten ready in the kitchen of the trailer where Enid used to cook, and then he walked out without joining you. You noticed Maggie’s gaze following him with worry and then she let out a sigh.

“If only he talked to me…”

You didn’t know what to tell her, you didn’t think you knew them both enough to be able to offer advice and help, even though you wished you could. “I’ll get him some dinner…”

Taking a plate, you walked around the trailers to find Daryl alone at the back. You offered him the plate but he didn’t take it.

“Come on, eat, don’t make me force you in nurse mood,” you said, smiling when he actually took the plate. “Though it’d be better if you came to have dinner with all us…your friends are really nice, I’m glad I got to met them.”

Daryl just ate in silence and even though you’d have liked to actually talk with him, you decided to let him be. By the time everyone began going to sleep, he hadn’t come to talk with any of you. You shared a trailer with Sasha and Daryl, while Maggie and Enid stayed with Jesus in his, and you’d been given the bed saying you needed it, though you felt guilty about it anyway. Sasha slept on a small sofa, and Daryl on the floor with a bedroll…if he slept. He hadn’t gone to sleep last night, and you hadn’t seen him there in the morning either.

That night was no different, by the time you fell asleep, you’d seen Sasha settling onto the sofa, but Daryl hadn’t come. However, when you woke up early in the morning, Sasha was gone but you were surprised to find Daryl asleep on the floor. You’d have to step over him to go out of the trailer and you didn’t want to risk waking him up, you knew they’d barely allowed him to sleep at the Sanctuary and he needed rest, and so you decided to not get up yet, looking at him as he slept.

Soon, though, Daryl was stirring, his brow furrowing as he let out soft grunts and whimpers as if having a nightmare, and then his eyes opened, looking around scared.

“You’re okay,” you told him quietly. “You’re safe.”

Daryl looked around before looking at you and then he nodded, running a hand throw his wild hair. As he pushed his hair back and away from his face, you noticed how more of his bruises were fading already, and the cuts seemed to be healing well.

“Can I see those cuts?” You got up and approached and Daryl nodded, allowing you to kneel next to him and inspect his face without flinching. “They look really good, I don’t think they’ll even scar.” You smiled, glad that his wounds hadn’t gotten infected. “Does the shoulder hurts or bothers you?”

Daryl shook his head, but then he seemed to think it better and he shrugged. “Bothers a bit, sometimes, when I move it much.”

You were happy he’d decided to be honest with you about that, you hadn’t really expected it, sure he’d just dismiss you and tell you he was fine. You placed your hand on his bad shoulder. “Move it.” He did and you were relieved you didn’t feel as if something were wrong, though it wasn’t like you had the means to be totally sure. “Okay…give it time, that bullet wound was really bad, and the way in which they removed the bullet and then didn’t properly heal it…” You shook your head, giving thanks once again for being out of that place. “What about your ribs?”

“They’re good.” Daryl got up and you decided to let him be. When he was about to get out of the trailer, though, he stopped. “Thank you,” he muttered without turning to look at you, and you couldn’t help your smile as you followed him out.

You could smell breakfast getting ready, and you were glad it made your mouth water instead of upsetting your stomach. Before you had time to move, though, Enid came running.

“Daryl! Come, now!” The way in which the girl was grinning stopped you from being scared at his words. Daryl frowned at the girl but followed her, and not knowing what to do, you followed them too.

Reaching the doors, you saw that a group of people had gotten in and they were hugging Maggie. Daryl seemed to doubt for a bit about joining them, but then he walked to them and when the people spotted him, they went to greet him and hug him too. That must be the friends and family he’d left in Alexandria. You were happy but you also felt out of place, and you didn’t know what to do. Maggie seemed to notice and he walked to you, taking your hand and walking you closer to the others.

“This is Y/N, she was taken to the Sanctuary too, told us a lot of information about the place.” She introduced you. “Also a nurse.”

“Hello then,” The man with blue eyes who’d been hugging Daryl greeted you, but you thought he eyed you with suspicion.

“She helped me in there,” Daryl said, much to your surprise, walking to you too, and you felt less anxious with him and Maggie standing at each of your sides.

“And Daryl helped me escape the place, he took me here, him and Jesus.” You found your voice to explain, trying not to feel intimidated despise having all eyes on you.

“Do you mean it?” Maggie asked the man. “We’re going to fight him?”

“We have to,” Daryl added.

“I mean it, will Hilltop help?”

“I don’t know…we have to talk to Gregory,” Maggie grumbled, clearly hating the idea.

“I’ll get a meeting ready.” Jesus began to walk towards the big house and everyone followed him.

You didn’t know what to do, you walked with them to the house but you weren’t sure about going to that meeting with them, feeling a bit like an outsider. You sat down on the stairs of the porch to wait for them and soon Enid joined you.

“So…you’ve been in there, what do you think of this?”

You let out a sigh, thinking about what to say, and you decided to be honest. “I understand people want to fight. And believe me, I want Negan and his Saviors to be stopped too…but I don’t know how, and I can’t see you winning, they’re…they’re dangerous, really dangerous, and there’s a lot of them, with guns and whatnot. Daryl told me they took all the guns, how are we going to fight them? And you wouldn’t be enough people…”

“We don’t have guns in Alexandria either, but we’re a big community and we want to fight. If Hilltop joined us too, we could fight.”

“I’m not sure you’d be enough anyway…”

“You don’t know these people.” She nodded towards the closed door. “The things they have fought and won when it seemed impossible. The biggest herd of walker you had ever seen. And groups of bad people, before they found Alexandria. They’re going to fight no matter what, and they can win.”

You nodded to the part of them going to fight no matter what, you could see it, but after so long with the Saviors, you weren’t sure they could win easily, you were afraid you were at the verge of a blood bath, and the idea of seeing these people who were taking care of you murdered by Negan was heartbreaking.

“So…help me win the people from Hilltop to our cause?”

You knew nothing you could say would stop Daryl and his people from fighting, and so you guessed their best chance was to have as many people as possible with them, so you nodded and you spent the next half an hour talking with the people from Hilltop, Enid telling them that Maggie wanted to fight and she needed their support, and you explained all the horrors you’d seen during your time at the Sanctuary. They all seemed to respect Maggie, and soon you had a group of people following you back to the house.

The others came out, and by their looks and how they were talking to each other, things with Gregory didn’t seem to have gone well. Their faces light up a bit when they saw how almost all the Hilltop people were by their side, but soon they were making more plans. Apparently, Jesus was going to take them to another big community who might help against the Saviors too. Jesus had more good news too, he’d managed to get a walkie from the Saviors, and so if they headed to Alexandria or Hilltop, you’d know it on time. You were tempted to ask if they’d talked about your search and Daryl’s, but you knew it’d only worry you more, and so you didn’t.

You’d never imagined there would be so many communities out there, especially big ones. Maybe…maybe all together they’d really have a chance to stop Negan and the Saviors…you didn’t want to let yourself dream, though.

Without time to lose, everyone began getting ready to leave to that community. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do, stay there, leave with them…you didn’t know what was your place anymore. And besides, Maggie had accepted you into Hilltop, but maybe the rest of Daryl’s group didn’t want you with them?

You wondered who you might ask. Maggie? She was busy talking with Jesus. That Rick man who seemed to be the leader of Alexandria? It was still intimidating. Instead, you decided to approach Daryl.

“I don’t know…what should I do? Do I go with you?” You hoped you didn’t sound silly, but you were feeling rather lost in your new life.

“No, stay here. We know nothing about that community, Jesus says they ain’t enemies but…” He shrugged…you got the feeling he didn’t trust nobody anymore, and you hated that the Sanctuary’d done that to his heart. “You’ll be safe here. If Saviors come we’ll know, Maggie’ll hide you.”

“Okay…” You nodded, you were glad Maggie and Enid were staying too, or else you’d be feeling out of place at Hilltop. “Take care…”

“You too.”

You spent the next part of the morning helping the doctor, and when you were going back to the trailer, Maggie and Enid approached you.

“We’re going to train at throwing knives, do you want to come?”

“That sounds all kinds of unsafe and difficult…” You were just learning to handle a knife, how were you supposed to throw hit and it the mark. “But why not, at least I can watch.”

In the end, you ended up trying too, though the only time you managed to hit the mark was with the handle of the knife, but you tried not to let it discourage you, it was your first day after all. After that, Maggie taught you and Enid some more knife moves, she was as good as Sasha at it.

By the end of the day, you were dead on your feet, but you decided to sit down and watch the stars before going to sleep. Soon, Maggie joined you.

“How are you adapting to this place?”

“It’s…I don’t know, sometimes it’s still hard to believe, that I’m here and free of Negan. And you are all so nice and helpful…” You were beyond grateful.

“I don’t think I could have been with that bastard like that, I’d kill myself…no, I’d kill him,” Maggie growled.

“Some wives talked about trying to kill him. I thought it might be too dangerous.”

“I’m going to kill him. We’re going to kill him. We’re going to end the Saviors.” That was everyone’s mind and you were still afraid of the costs. “But I need help and more people, and we need guns, and there’s so much to do.” Maggie let out a tired sigh, running a hand through her hair. “And I wish Daryl helped with this, I wish he talked to me…”

“He wants to kill them as much as you.” You assured her. “But…I don’t know…I mean, I don’t know him, but I guess that what happened to him has really affected him deeply…”

“Yeah…” Maggie seemed thoughtful before she gave you a small smile. “You get along with him really well.”

You shrugged shyly. “I don’t know…don’t know what he thinks of me or nothing…”

“He trusts you, so I knew you were a good one. Daryl’s the best at reading people.” Maggie explained, her smile a tiny bit bigger, though you noticed her eyes getting wet. “He’s a great person, my husband used to say it, even though at first they didn’t get along like, at all. But they became good friends, family. Both of them have big, kind hearts.” Maggie rubbed her eyes before she kept talking. “Glenn and Daryl used to go out looking for people in need who we could help, who we could take in our community. Daryl kept doing that in Alexandria too. He’s a good man.”

“Yeah, I thought so too…” You nodded. “But I don’t think he trusts that easily anymore, I’m not sure he’ll want to keep helping people as he did, not after what they did to him…”

“Well, he trusted you, and he helped you escape.” Maggie shrugged but she was right, and you were grateful for that. “There’s bad people who’d always take advantage of people with kind, good hearts. But that doesn’t mean we have to stop trying to make things better. I hope Daryl’ll see it.”

You hoped so. You didn’t want Dwight, Negan, and everything else to end the man who Maggie was describing, whom you had caught glimpses of, since you decided Daryl was a good man in which you could trust.

“You’re wise.”

Maggie snorted. “Nah. My dad was the wise one. How much I wish he were here too, helping me, he’d know what’d be the best thing to do…” Maggie’s eyes were wet again and you found yours were too. Not finding words, you just reach for Maggie’s hand, as you both kept watching the stars in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And she met the others! And talked a bit with Daryl…
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.
> 
> If you want to be (un)tagged let me know.


	9. Chapter 9

The others came back the next day, and you panicked when you didn’t see Daryl with them. Did walkers get him? The Saviors? Any other group of bad people? Was than new settlement a trap? You didn’t know how to ask, though, still feeling out of place and shy when you weren’t with Maggie or Daryl.

When they explained to Maggie the situation, though, you were beyond relief to hear Daryl was safe. The Kingdom, that was how the community was called, didn’t want to help to fight the Saviors, but the leader had offered Daryl asylum since the Saviors never got inside.

“Actually, Y/N,” Jesus addressed you. “Maybe you should have come and stayed in there too. Saviors are pretty crazy looking for you, even more than for Daryl.” He pointed at the walkie and you began to feel as if it were hard to breathe, but you tried to control it. “I think it’d be safer.”

“I could take her, I don’t mind. We could try.” Sasha offered and you were almost overcome by anxiety again. “Maggie, you’d be safer there too.”

“No, no way, and don’t pull up the ‘you’re pregnant’ card, there’s no way I’m leaving, there’s too much to do.” Maggie shook his head and turned to look at you. “But what would you like to do?”

“I…I don’t know…” Going to yet another new place that you didn’t know after getting taken in this place by nice people…you weren’t sure how it made you feel. But you remembered that Daryl was there, you wouldn’t be alone, he’d be with you, and you were looking forward to seeing him again. If Daryl was there, then you’d be okay, for some reason you kept believing that. “But…yeah, okay, I’ll hide there. I don’t want to bother you though.”

“It’s not a bother, come on, grab your things.”

Sasha nodded towards the vehicle and you were about to leave without anything, but Maggie grabbed your wrist, walking you back to the trailer and taking a backpack which she filled with the change of clothes and the knife they had given you.

“Take care, okay?”

“You too…” You felt tear eyed at the idea of leaving this new friend who’d been so welcoming and kind to you. Maggie nodded, gave you a hug, and you joined Sasha in the car.

During the journey, Sasha was back at asking you things about the Sanctuary, and you wondered if that was the reason why she’d said she’d drive you. You couldn’t answer most of her questions, though, as you didn’t know anything about the number of weapons the Sanctuary had, best ways to attack it, the outposts, communities under it…you hadn’t been given that kind of information as a wife or a nurse.

When you arrived in the Kingdom and you were greeted by men in horses, you didn’t know what to think. They recognized Sasha, though, and when she explained them your situation, they agreed to introduce you to the King, as they seemed sympathetic about you. You didn’t like to play the ‘pregnancy card’ as Maggie called it, but sometimes it was useful.

When you were taken to the King, though, you couldn’t even talk to the guy, dumbfounded at the big tiger that stood at the feet of the throne. You didn’t know if you wanted to run away in case she decided you were dinner, or if you wanted to try and pet her. Sasha stepped in, explaining once again your situation, and the King allowed you to hide here, where they’d take care of you, though he reminded Sasha once more that the Kingdom wouldn’t join the fight.

As soon as you thanked him profusely, the King left, saying he had things to do, and you were left with a friendly-looking guard and Sasha, who declined the offer to stay for the night, driving back to Hilltop even though the sun was going down soon, saying she needed to help Maggie.

Much to your dismay, the guard explained to you how Daryl had left earlier and he wasn’t back yet, but he assured you he’d be back soon. You tried to keep your thoughts about Daryl running into trouble controlled, so as not to panic, and you sat down to wait for him at the outside of the building where you had been given a bedroom.

As you looked around, you couldn’t believe the place. It was even bigger than the Hilltop, and with more people. And yet they were under the Saviors too. How could no one win the fight against them? They seemed invincible.

You jumped onto your feet when you finally saw Daryl, and you rushed to him, barely avoiding to straight-up run to him, which embarrassed you a bit.

“The hell you doing here?” Daryl seemed rather confused to find you there.

“Sasha drove me, Saviors are looking for me so Jesus thought It’d be safer here like you.” You explained. “And the King had allowed me to stay.”

“I’m leaving in the morning.”

“What?” You blinked in surprise, you had just arrived. “Where? Why?”

“Back to Hilltop, I tried talking to the King like Rick wanted but he won’t listen. I ain’t gonna hide here doing nothing.” Of course, if there were plans to fight the Saviors, Daryl wasn’t going to miss it, and you knew nothing you’d say would change his mind.

“Okay, do we leave in the morning then?”

Daryl looked at you, chewing on his thumbnail. “I leave, you stay, it’s safer here.”

“What? No, no, I’m not going to stay here alone.” If Daryl left then you had nothing to do in that place, you didn’t know it, you didn’t know anyone. You hated the idea. You wanted to be with Daryl and Maggie, where you felt safe and like you weren’t alone.

“If there’s a fight, the Kingdom won’t be in it, you’ll be safe. The Saviors don’t get in here, they won’t find you.” Daryl explained to you again. “And I got no bike or nothing, I’ll go to Hilltop walking, there’s a long while, dunno you should be walking that much…”

“I’m fine!” If Maggie was planning on participating in a battle while pregnant, then you could walk for a day. “I can walk!

“But-“

“I don’t want to stay.” You felt tears in your eyes at the idea of Daryl making you stay alone in that strange place, it embarrassed you but you couldn’t help it.

“Okay.” Daryl let out a frustrated sigh. “We leave at the sunrise.”

“Yeah?” You blinked in surprise. You had tried to get ready for Daryl telling you to stop complaining and stay, or telling you he wouldn’t take you with him, anything like that.

“You don’t want to stay, then you don’t want to stay.” Daryl shrugged, looking at the ground. “Still think you’d be safer here tho.”

“Thanks.” You couldn’t help your grin. You guessed you were too used to people telling you what you could and couldn’t do, and making you do things you didn’t want to. This felt different, and good.

“Yeah, well…” Daryl shrugged again, seeming awkward. “We leave early, you should get some sleep.”

“In a minute…” During the time you’d been sat down waiting for Daryl, you’d had your eye on a horse who had been looking at you, and you decided to go and see her closer. You walked towards the stable and noticed Daryl following you. “Hi.”

You greeted the horse, who came closer. You were hesitant, but you decided to move your hand closer to her. The mere sniffed your hand and you felt confident enough to touch her. She wasn’t as soft as you had imagined, but it was nice anyway, and a silly smile spread through your face.

“It’s the first time I touch a horse.” You grinned to Daryl.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve lived in the city all my life, I’ve never really gone out on holidays to the countryside. And you?”

“First time I went to the city the dead were already walking.”

“Seriously?” You looked at Daryl, surprised at that. Daryl said nothing, looking down and seeming self-conscious, so even though you wanted to know more about him and his life, you didn’t ask anything else. You didn’t want him to decide he didn’t want to talk to you anymore. “I never had a pet either, though I always wanted one. I’m jealous of this King with a pet tiger…though I’d be scared thinking she’d eat me at any moment.”

Daryl snorted quietly at that. “She won’t eat Ezekiel. Shiva looks like a good tiger.”

“A tiger still.” You shrugged, smiling. “But she’s pretty amazing, scary, but amazing.”

Daryl chewed on his lower lip and then he looked at you. “Come. I’ll show you something.”

“What?”

“You’ll see it.”

You followed Daryl into one of the buildings and through empty corridors until he opened a door and you were greeted with the sight of a big cage, Shiva inside. You looked at Daryl, not knowing what to say. He placed a hand on the small of your back, gently pushing you inside and closing the door behind you two.

“Whoa…” You approached the cage as closer as you dared to.

“Yeah.” Daryl stopped considerably closer than you and the tiger looked at him with curious eyes. Suddenly, he reached towards her between the bars of the cage.

“What are you doing!”

You were scared, waking closer to grab Daryl’s arm and yank it away, but Shiva was faster than you…and she rubbed the side of her face against Daryl’s hand as if she were a cat. You were stunned into silence again.

“Told you she was a good tiger,” Daryl smirked, stroking the tiger’s ears. You were torn. You wanted so much to touch the gorgeous tiger, but at the same time you were afraid of her attacking you. Before you could make your mind, the door opened and a man walked in.

“You’re good with her. Ezekiel will be impressed.”

“Well, figure any guy that has a pet tiger can’t be that bad.” Whoever that man was, Daryl knew him.

“Who’s that?” The man’s eyes landed on you.

“A friend,” was Daryl’s only explanation before you could say anything. “I found Carol today, out in that little house.”

You listened to the two men talking about that Carol, about what Daryl might or might not have talked with her, about how Daryl wanted that man to make the King change his mind, though the man wasn’t up to it. You were mostly lost during the conversation.

“We’re going back to Hilltop in the morning,” Daryl said, ending the conversation, and touching your elbow softly so you’d with him. “And getting ready.”

*

“Come on.”

Daryl woke you up early in the morning, when the sun was starting to rise, shaking your arm soft enough to not scare you but hard enough to wake you up. You’d been afraid thinking maybe you’d fall asleep and not wake up on time, and then Daryl’d leave without you, but it seemed that he meant it when he said he’d take you with him to Hilltop.

Soon, you both were out of the Kingdom and walking through the woods to the Hilltop. You weren’t as tired as you had been during the first weeks of your pregnancy but still you were more tired than usual, and you weren’t used to walking that much anymore. You wondered if you were going to be able to actually make it walking to Hilltop. You didn’t want to tell Daryl, though, embarrassed, he’d already told you that it was a long walk, you didn’t want to have to stop too soon. He seemed to notice, though.

“Why don’t we sit for a bit?” He offered, and you gave him a shy, grateful smile. You knew he did it for you, he seemed used to walk for hours and hours non-stop, but he didn’t throw it to your face. “We got time until the sun goes down.”

“Okay.” You sat down on a patch of grass, stretching your tired legs and moving your hurting feet. You rummaged into your bag and took out a package of dried meat. “Do you want some?”

“Where you get that?”

“That guard, Jerry, gave it to me before we left.”

“That’s what you get for being nicer than me,” Daryl said as he sat down next to you and you let out a soft laugh, passing him a piece of meat.

“If being nice is my only asset in this world, I’m pretty doomed.” You shrugged, but you knew it was true.

“Yeah. But you got medical training too…and you got a knife now.” He pointed at the one that Maggie had given you and that hung from your bag.

“Maggie and Sasha are training me a bit, but I’m not good.”

“Takes time.” Daryl shrugged. “Just keep practicing. Can you shoot?”

“I was taught how to work a gun in my old settlement, a bit, but I didn’t do any target practice, and now we don’t have guns, so…”

Daryl nodded. “You should train if we get guns. And you gotta keep training with the knife, best for walkers.”

“Yeah…you know…I’ve never put down a walker.” You had been looking at Daryl as you spoke, even though he wasn’t looking at you, but after confessing that, you felt too shy to look at him.

“Can’t be.”

“I was pretty sheltered in my old settlement, I was taken in by the military and then everyone else made sure that nothing happened to me ‘cause I was the only one with medical training…”

“Best way of taking care of you would have been teaching you to protect yourself.” Daryl interrupted you, and you now knew he was right, but back then you’d been glad they had kept the monsters away from you…they hadn’t been able to keep the other monsters, the Saviors, away, though.

“I guess…”

“You’ll learn, like everyone. You ready to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

Daryl got up and, seeming hesitant, he reached out to help you up, looking away from you. You took his hand and got up, and Daryl let go of your hand to keep walking. You stole glances at him as you walked. You were out in the woods for the first time, you knew maybe walkers lurked close, and yet you weren’t as scared as you thought you would. You still felt as if you weren’t as scared as always when you were with Daryl, as if you could trust he’d help you, no matter you hadn’t met him that long ago and you still didn’t know much about him. But you knew enough to know he was a good man.

You wondered if you even were enjoying this chance to spend time with him and get to know him a bit more. He was a reserved man, you thought, and so you were happy he talked to you as he did, but he also listened to you when you spoke, actually listened. You liked to talk to him and that feeling of safety he gave you. You wondered what he might think of all that, though, if maybe he only thought that it was his duty to protect you, as the good man he was, or if he maybe was starting to consider you his friend…last night, he’d told that man that you were a friend…

“What?” Daryl caught you staring and you quickly trained your eyes back forward, blushing.

“Nothing…that man who talked to you yesterday, was he one of your friends?”

“Kind of…most like Rick’s friend. But he ain’t gonna help any of us, so…” Daryl scoffed.

“And that woman, Carol?” You wondered if you were pushing it too much, but Daryl didn’t seem to mind.

“She’s a friend, an old one, a good one.” Daryl nodded. “Hadn’t seen her in a while. Was good to see her…”

Despite her words, Daryl was frowning and seeming thoughtful, and you decided to let him be for now, walking in silence. After a few hours, Daryl made you stop and sit again, even though you still stubbornly refused to say how tired and hurting everywhere you were.

“Will we make it on time?”

“Yeah, we’re close now,” Daryl assured you. “I’ll get you to Hilltop safe.”

“I know you will,” you said without thinking, and when Daryl looked at you at that, you looked down, blushing. You couldn’t help but trust him like that, though.

He looked away, his hair hanging over his face, hiding it from you, and for a bit you both stayed silent, until he was the first to spoke this time.

“Carol, she…” He began but then he stopped. “I’ve never lied to her, not in all the time I’ve known her, but I lied to her yesterday…and I don’t know…don’t know if I should have or not…dunno…”

“Why you did it?” You asked softly.

“She asked me if everyone was okay and I told her yes. Couldn’t tell her how Negan killed Glenn and Abraham, I told her that we made a deal like the Kingdom instead. So she wouldn’t be hurt and she wouldn’t come to the fight, she said she couldn’t keep killing, that she left us ‘cause of that…but I know she’d back if she knew what happened…but I just wanted her to be safe and okay…”

You knew you couldn’t totally understand what Daryl was telling you, that there were parts of the story that you missed, as you didn’t know him and his people for that long, but still, you wanted to offer him comfort.

“Sounds to me like you did it for the right reasons.”

“Dunno…” Daryl shrugged, seeming thoughtful still.

“Thank you, you know, for talking with me…like…dunno…about things…” You worded it awkwardly and you felt a bit silly saying it like that, but you were grateful Daryl shared those personal things with you sometimes.

“Yeah, well…” Daryl seemed awkward. “Let’s keep going. You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unnecesary chapter, but I wanted them to have some time alone…
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	10. Chapter 10

As Daryl had said, you reached Hilltop before the sundown. Maggie seemed confused to see you back, but happy too, as she went to welcome you, and you explained everything to her while Daryl just walked past her, once again avoiding her. You saw Maggie frowning as she looked at him, but then she turned her attention back to you, walking you to have dinner with her, Sasha, Enid, and Jesus, before you finally slumped down on your bed, so exhausted it didn’t take you five minutes to fall asleep.

Next day was spent by helping the doctor, training more with the knife, and also helping Sasha make drawings of the Sanctuary. You barely saw Daryl at all, only time was when he approached you to check if you were okay after having spent the whole previous day walking, but he steered clear of everyone, avoiding Maggie, so you decided to approach him that night again when you brought him dinner.

“Eat.” You placed the stir fry of veggies next to Daryl and then sat down next to him.

“Ain’t your job to bring me food,” he grumbled.

“I know.” You shrugged.

“Thanks,” he murmured quietly and you waited until he’d finished his dinner to speak again.

“Don’t get angry but I still think you should talk to Maggie…” You saw Daryl rolling his eyes in frustration and you were afraid he was going to get up and walk away from you. “She’s your friend, she needs your help.”

“What she needs is me far from her,” Daryl replied bitterly. “She’s better off without me.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“It’s what it is. She lost all her family ‘cause of me.”

“I’m sure that-”

“You know nothing!” Daryl snapped, clearly upset. “His dad, he was killed by the man who destroyed our old home, cause I couldn’t stop him. I tracked him for weeks but lost the trail, and I thought he was gone. But he came back. And we lost people, and we lost our home. And we lost Maggie’s dad. And I did nothing to stop it.”

Daryl sounded so distressed that it hurt your heart, but you decided to stay silent, letting him speak.

“And her sister. She kept me sane when it was just her and me, and I tried to keep her safe. But I didn’t, and I lost her. And when I found her back she got killed. And I couldn’t do anything. And then…then you know what I did to her husband.”

You wondered how someone could deal with all that guilt, all that pain, with such a burden. You didn’t know if someone could ever overcome all that. You wished you knew the right words, but you thought Daryl had reached a point in which nothing could bring him comfort. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.

“Daryl…you can’t take the blame for everything,” You said softly, hoping not to anger him. “You have to stop that. Those things? It doesn’t sound like your fault. You have to forgive yourself or it’ll kill you.”

“You know nothing.”

“I don’t.” After all, you only knew Daryl for a couple of weeks, and Maggie for a few days. “But I do know that you’re a good man.”

Daryl scoffed, shaking his head. His wild hair was falling all over his face again, but you noticed tears in his eyes. You reached out to brush his hair away from his face, but Daryl flinched and you lowered your hand. Instead, you gave his hand a brief, ever so soft squeeze.

“Just think about it,” you said softly, getting up.

“Already did,” Daryl muttered.

“I’m going to leave you alone now, but if you ever feel like…well…like maybe you want to talk…” you began shyly. “Well…you know, I’m here…”

Daryl didn’t say anything and you left, walking back to the others.

*

Next day passed without any event, not Saviors showing up, not walkers invading the place, and even though you still couldn’t believe your luck, everything started to feel more real. You were really free of it all. Sure, the community that had taken you in was under Negan’s control, but it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t like being trapped in the Sanctuary…

They were still set on the idea of breaking free of that control and end Negan. If only you could feel like that was something achievable…you were still scared it’d end in a bloodbath.

At the evening, you listened to Maggie, Sasha, Jesus, and another of their friends from Alexandria who had arrived that day, Rosita, making plans while you dinned stew. As always, Daryl hadn’t joined you, sitting away from everyone else. Maggie looked at him too and she let out a sigh. She fixed a bowl of stew and went to give it to Daryl.

You watched how she placed it next to Daryl without him acknowledging her, neither did he look at her when Maggie squeezed his shoulder. Maggie came back, looking so sad, you hated you couldn’t help any of them.

Next day it wasn’t a busy one for the doctor, and so he decided to give you an ultrasound. You didn’t want him to bother, but as he insisted you said yes. You’d been given a couple of ultrasounds before at the Sanctuary to guarantee Negan that everything was okay, but this time as you looked at the screen you saw that the baby wasn’t as much of a lump anymore but was starting to take form.

Everything seemed to be okay and the doctor even gave you a copy of the ultrasound, making you tear up a bit. Everything was still a mix of feelings, not all of them were good, but still, you felt like you wanted to show the ultrasound to Maggie. You went looking for her but instead you found Daryl. You weren’t very sure he might be interested, but you wanted to show it to him too.

“Look.” You held the picture in front of Daryl and he hummed, not seeming to pay much attention to it. “They even have a face now! Kind of…”

“Do they?” Daryl murmured.

“Of course they have…”

You still thought Daryl wasn’t interested, but the ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He looked at you and reached out to take the picture.

“It’s everything okay then?”

“It looks like it.”

Your bubble of giddiness was broken when you saw Maggie and Enid running towards you two, the look in their faces enough to make you panic.

“Saviors are coming, we have to hide, now!”

You were frozen in place, scared out of your mind. The Saviors were there. They were going to take you back to the Sanctuary. They were going to lock you in a dark cell, and they’d take the baby away, and you’d die in there alone.

You couldn’t move, feeling it hard to breathe, but Daryl’s hand closed around your wrist, keeping you with Maggie and him as you three rushed behind Enid until you hid in a basement room used to store all kind of things. Enid made sure you were totally hidden behind some shelves and whatnot, and then she left, closing the doors of the basement, leaving it almost in complete darkness.

You tried not to let anxiety overcome you, trying to take deep breaths, walking to the back of the room and leaning against the cold wall, you didn’t want Maggie and Daryl to notice and worry about you. Still, when the doors opened and a Savior walked in, you felt like it was too much. Your lungs seemed to be burning, suffocating you, even though you tried your best not to panic.

Noticing Daryl taking his knife as if ready to leave his hiding spot and pounce on the man just made you panic even more, but Maggie held him back. The man looked around and then he left, but your heart didn’t stop beating fast, fast, and you began to see those dreadful sparks of bright light as you fought to keep breathing.

You leaned more against the wall and saw how Maggie and Daryl walked out of their hiding spot, they talked, though you couldn’t make their words, but you thought you saw them embrace, though everything was starting to get kind of blurry. Then Maggie seemed to notice you weren’t joining them, turning to look towards where you had hidden and finding you against the wall.

“Y/N? Y/N, you okay?” She whispered, rushing to you when you didn’t answer. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

“No…nothings…just…” You knew you were on the verge of fainting, you could feel it, and you did all you could to stop it. “I…I think I’m going to sit down…I’m a bit dizzy…it’s okay…”

You pulled away from the wall, stumbling a bit and trying to communicate to your brain that you wanted to sit down. Daryl’d followed Maggie and you felt him taking your arm and holding you steady.

“I’m gonna see if there are gone.” Maggie rushed to the door, opening it carefully and peering outside before signaling to Daryl to follow her. Daryl wrapped your arm around him, supporting your weight and holding you steady, and even in your state, you were totally embarrassed.

“No…I…I’m okay…you don’t have to…I’m good…”

Daryl ignored you, helping you walk outside the basement. The sunlight and the fresh air helped you feel better, but Daryl and Maggie kept walking you to the medical trailer until Enid ran to them.

“They took the doctor with them.” She informed.

“What for?” Maggie all but growled.

“I don’t know…”

“Hey!” Jesus approached you all too. “Everyone okay?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Maggie looked around. “Did they hurt someone?”

“No…but I can’t find Rosita and Sasha…I think they left…”

“Shit…”

“I’m good,” you said weakly, turning to look at Daryl who was still holding you steady. “I’m okay.” Daryl only nodded, looking at you and carefully letting you step away from him. “Thank you.”

Jesus and Maggie went to check what the Saviors had done, followed by Enid, and you decided to go and sit down at the outside of the trailer, taking deep breaths of fresh air. You noticed someone sitting down next to you and when you opened your eyes you found Daryl passing you a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” you said before taking a long sip.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…yeah, thanks.” You nodded, embarrassed about the whole thing. “I’m pretty useless for this world, right? If I’m going to faint every time something scares me I’m as good as dead,” you said bitterly. Daryl was looking down, stealing glances at you as if he didn’t know what to say. “I…don’t take me wrong, I’m beyond grateful I’m out of the Sanctuary, but this…this being scared all the time of Saviors finding me, of people getting hurt because of me, of having to hide…I don’t know if I can deal with it…”

“We’ll fight and we’ll stop them.”

“Daryl…” You looked at him sadly. “I’ve lived in there for so long, I know how strong they are, I know what Negan’s able to. I want to end them, but…but I don’t want you all to get hurt. I think…I’m scared this’s going to be a bloodbath…”

Daryl glanced at you before looking down again. “We’ll win.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. These people were going to fight, and nothing you could say would change their mind. They were warriors, you could see it, but you’ve also seen how dangerous the Saviors were. People were going to die and you hated it.

Daryl rummaged into his pocket and passed you a picture, which you realized was your ultrasound. With all the commotion with having to hide from the Saviors, you hadn’t realized you had misplaced it. “Thank you, Daryl. I wanted to show it to Maggie…” You didn’t know if it was a good moment anymore, and if she’d be interested, with everything that was going on.

“She’ll like it.”

“So…are you and her good?” You ventured.

“Dunno…I guess…I’m good by her…dunno why…”

“You’ve to forgive yourself too. Especially about things that weren’t your fault,” you said softly.

Daryl didn’t say anything, getting up, but he surprised you reaching out to clap your shoulder before walking away.

Late that day, Maggie came to sit down at the sofa of the trailer while Enid cooked dinner.

“Everything okay?” You asked her.

“Could be worse…” She let out a tired sigh. “But they took doctor Carlson.”

“They have a doctor, I don’t know why they’d want him.”

“Yeah…I hope he’s okay…he left information about the patients and what they need.”

“I’ll get to it in the morning.” You assured her. “He gave me this…”

You passed Maggie the ultrasound and she smiled softly looking at it. “Looks cuter than mine,” she joked. “And we just lost out gynecologist.”

“I’ll try to see if I can work the ultrasound machine.” You knew you wouldn’t be as good as him at finding if something was wrong, though.

“Okay, but once we end the Saviors, we’re getting the doctor back.”

You didn’t say anything, knowing Maggie was as passionate about the fight as Daryl, no matter how scared you were about what you could only see as a bloodbath.

*

Next morning, the group from Alexandria arrived. You didn’t want to be nosy as everyone made plans, but you listened enough to gather that everyone was serious about fighting the Saviors, and a fight should be expected in no time. It was scary, more than scary. They’d been gathering all kind of weapons the could find, and now they were going to drive to another community to ask for their help and their guns.

Yet another community…this world was bigger than what you’d ever imagined.

Maggie was staying, getting Hilltop ready, but Jesus was joining the others. Enid was going too, much to your surprise, but then you saw the way she talked with that teen boy, and you thought there might be something going on there. It was kind of cute.

“Hey,” Daryl approached you, you knew he was going too. “You okay in here?”

“I’m better than okay.” You smiled softly. Everything that wasn’t the Sanctuary was good, but Hilltop and the people who had taken you in had been a true gift.

“Alright.” Daryl nodded, eyes down. “Once we get what we need from Oceanside I’m heading to Alexandria with the others and getting everything ready to fight.”

“Oh…okay.” You didn’t know why the idea of Daryl leaving Hilltop hit you that hard, but it did. You had Maggie there with you, and you were grateful you’d got a friend like her, but you still felt that pull towards Daryl, and towards the safety and calm you felt when he was near. You knew you’d miss that feeling, and you’d miss him and the friendship you were slowly developing. “Be careful, please.”

“You too. Keep training but if the fight starts, listen to what Maggie tells you and hide.”

“Sure thing.”

“Take care.” Daryl reached out to squeeze your shoulder awkwardly and then he was turning away to leave with the others.

*

Jesus and Enid didn’t come back until the next day. You smiled seeing Maggie’s relieved and happy face when she saw them getting into Hilltop. She hadn’t said anything, no matter you two had spent hours the night before speaking, but you knew she’d been very worried about it. Everything seemed to have gone okay, and everyone was safe.

You were relieved, and yet…yet you wished Daryl were here too. You couldn’t help it. You liked the time you spent with him. You liked it when he listened to you, and you liked it when he talked to you…he wasn’t very talkative, but it meant something whenever he spoke to you…maybe he wasn’t friendly in a traditional way, but he was a good friend, you thought, no matter you didn’t know him for that long. He’d been making sure you were good. You couldn’t stop how your mind wandered to him more often than not. You wondered what he was doing. You hoped he was okay, and that he wouldn’t end up hurt in that battle Jesus and Maggie were getting ready for too.

*

Next morning you woke up early, but Maggie’d already left. You got out of the trailer and were greeted by the sight of her talking to Daryl. You blinked in surprise before a big grin spread across your face. Daryl was there! He’d come back! You rushed to Maggie and him.

“Okay, I’ll tell everyone,” Maggie was saying, clapping Daryl’s arm. “We’ll get ready.”

“We’re gonna win,” Daryl told her as Maggie walked away.

“You’re back!” You couldn’t control your grin, or the way in which your stomach did something funny and your heart fluttered in that strange way.

“I’m leaving again now,” Daryl said without looking at you, and you couldn’t help your disappointment. “But I had to inform Maggie of the new plans.”

“Oh, alright…”

“I gotta talk to you too.” Daryl gestured to the table for you to sit down and you frowned, confused and suddenly worried.

“There’s something wrong?” You sat down but Daryl didn’t, standing in front of you but without looking at you.

“Dwight came to Alexandria with Rosita, said he wants to help us fight Negan. That he’ll help us from inside.”

“What?” Of everything, that was not what you had expected.

“I know, I don’t know I buy it either…” Daryl scoffed, you knew the hate he had towards the man. “But…he knows it was Sherry who helped me. He said we owe her, and that he does too.” That much was true. “Also, Saviors don’t know you left with me, they thought you and Sherry left together, so Dwight told them he found you both as walkers. They stopped the search.”

“Bet Negan was happy…” He lost two wives, a nurse, and his unborn baby…If Dwight was telling the truth, then sure Negan had done something bad, very bad about it. Still, you were relieved knowing Negan thought you dead.

“So he said he wants Negan dead too, and that he’ll help. What you think, can we trust him?”

“I…” You were surprised Daryl was asking you that. “I don’t know. I’m sure you’re better at judging people intentions.”

“You know him better.”

“Yeah well…” You let out a sigh, trying to think. “He’s a grade-A asshole. But he was a good man once. And he did what he could to protect Sherry and her sister once, before he turned into what he’s now. So I don’t know. He could be lying. Or he could be fed up with everything. But maybe he’s doing it for Sherry…so maybe he’s genuine. Dunno.”

“Well…ain’t like we have other option.” Daryl shrugged, obviously he didn’t like having to trust Dwight. “Said Saviors are coming to Alexandria tomorrow but he’ll hold them back so we can get ready. We got the people and the guns, and we gonna fight.”

There it was, the battle you’d been so worried about, the bloodbath that scared you so much. You could only nod, wordless.

“There’s something else.” Daryl’d been pacing as he talked to you about Dwight, but now he sat down next to you, which somehow only worried you more. “He doesn’t know you’re here but I think he suspects you left with me. Told me to tell you something if I happened to see you.”

“Okay…” You grew worrier and worrier still.

“It weren’t walkers…not at first at least. Simon, he went to tell to your people that they needed to collect more, and apparently someone talked back. Simon solved it by shooting that person dead.” Daryl stole a glance at you before looking down again. “It seemed your people had had enough, tried fighting back. The Saviors shoot some others. The sound attracted walkers and the Saviors left, your people had not guns or nothing, so…” So Negan hadn’t totally lied, just sickly twisted the truth.

You didn’t know what to say. You’d already suspected Negan hadn’t been genuine, but still, thinking about your people once again was like another knife to the heart, and you couldn’t help your tears.

“Hey, you okay?” Daryl asked you softly and you nodded, rubbing your eyes. Daryl seemed awkward but also worried. “I’m sorry. Gotta go back to Alexandria, we’re getting ready for tomorrows fight.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No. No, you have to tell them to stop.” You begged him with tears in your eyes. “My people tried to fight back and you know what happened. It’ll be the same.”

“It won’t. We got more people, we got guns.”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re everywhere. Negan’ll kill you all. Please, I don’t want that to happen again.”

“We ain’t stopping. We gotta win. If I die then it’s worthy as long as we win.”

You could just shake your head, you didn’t know what to say to make all this stop.

Daryl got up, looking at you and letting out a sigh. “Listen, Y/N, you hide in here alright? But if you hear through the radio that Saviors are coming here too, you make it for the Kingdom and tell Ezekiel to hide you.

You shrugged but nodded, rubbing your eyes. You still couldn’t see anything good coming out of this battle, and the idea of losing more friends was too much to handle.

“Gotta go, take care okay?”

“You too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we got some saviours at the Hilltop, we know what happened to the reader’s community, and now Daryl and her are separated…oh well.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	11. Chapter 11

You couldn’t believe Maggie had gone to fight too. She was always saying how being pregnant didn’t mean she couldn’t still do things and fight, but you weren’t too sure you agreed on the last part. You could only hope she’d be safe, though after the weeks you’d known her, you had the feeling she’d be at the front line if she could.

Jesus had gone with her, and also a big group of the Hilltop people who wanted to fight the Saviors, while Enid and you had stayed back, waiting for them to be back for what felt eternal until you finally, on the next day, heard the cars coming back. You ran to the doors and right to Maggie when you spotted her, hugging her.

“Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. We won the battle but not the war.” Maggie gave you a tired smile, hugging you back before letting go of you to hug Enid, who had finally caught up too.

You were relieved she was safe, and you were surprised to hear how they seemed to have won over the Saviors, but beyond relieved and glad. Judging by her words, though, you knew they weren’t gone and Negan was still alive for sure…which meant they’d retaliate. It scared you to no end, but you tried to stay strong to support your friends, at least for now.

“You okay too?” You asked Jesus as he approached.

“Yeah,” he assured, smiling softly. “But some people got injured, can you check on them?”

“Of course!”

You got the medical trailer ready and also the one next to it to accommodate the people who had been injured. Only one person had died, which was less than what you had expected, but apparently more people from Alexandria had died…not Daryl, though, which relieved you to no end. Listening to Maggie and Jesus speaking as you worked…you almost, almost dared to have hope but not quite.

They had found the Kingdom people on their way to Alexandria, and so they had joined forces and attacked together, aiding the Alexandrians when they needed it the most after being betrayed by a new group under Negan’s orders. All together, they had managed to make run away both that group and the Saviors, even killing some of them. They were sure that the three communities together as allies, joining forces against the Saviors, would stop them for good.

The words were passionate and beautiful, but you were scared still, you had seen and heard what Negan did to communities that rebel…but could it be true? Could all of them together end the horrors? You didn’t want to have hope and still…

Soon, though, fear and sadness stepped over your hope as Maggie told you Sasha had died, turned herself into a walker to attack Negan and give them a chance. You knew Maggie was brokenhearted, you could see it, but you also could see how hard she was trying to push it down, focusing only on this war to come. You hadn’t known Sasha that much, and still, you felt tears in your eyes.

How could you have hope after all the death that the Saviors and Negan had brought…but that was just another reason why they had to be stopped…if only Maggie were right, if all together they could actually end them…

You walked out of the medical trailer after helping the last person, rolling your shoulders, and you stopped on your tracks when you saw Daryl out there. You knew he hadn’t died, Maggie had assured you so, but you had been sure he’d stay with his people in Alexndria. Before you could stop yourself, you had run to him and hug him, though you quickly let go of him.

“Sorry, just…” You apologized, blushing. “I’m happy you’re okay, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s okay…it’s good to see you too.” Daryl was looking down, almost as if shy, and you hoped you hadn’t made him uncomfortable.

“I thought you’d stay in Alexandria.”

“I’ll go back tomorrow, just came to tell Maggie some things Rick wants her to know, some changes…and just…wanted to check…” Daryl trailed off, looking down before glancing at you. “You okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m okay.” You nodded, wondering if Daryl maybe had actually wanted to check on you, the idea made you feel warm inside.

“Good.” Daryl nodded. “Gotta talk to Maggie.” Daryl patted your arm gently, his lip twitching into a tiny, half-smile, before walking away.

You thought you wouldn’t see him before he left, but late than evening he was sat down at the stairs of the trailer he’d shared with you and Sasha, head down, seeming lost in thought.

“So…” You went to sit down next to him. “You were right, you won.”

Daryl hummed and shrugged. “They got away. It was a trap…Dwight, he left a note, said he didn’t know. But…”

Daryl looked at you, but you didn’t have any good answer. “I don’t know…could be true or he could be playing you…”

“Yeah…can’t trust on no one, told you so.” Daryl was back at looking down, seeming tired. “The group Rick trusted to help us, they crossed us.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.” You resisted the sudden urge to reach out and squeeze Dary’ls hand. “But the Hilltop went to help and so did the Kingdom. You did well trusting those people, yeah? And I trusted you, and Jesus, and Maggie, and everyone else, and it’s the best decision I could have made.”

Daryl just shrugged before glancing at you briefly. “You were right too. People have died. Others are injured, badly. Good people.”

“I’m sorry…” You couldn’t stop it this time, reaching out to place your hand over Daryl’s to give it a soft squeeze, but Daryl’s hand flinched under yours and you pulled away. “But you won that battle, you actually made them run away, it was more than I dared to have hope for.”

“We gotta win the war.” War…that word made you shiver and filled you with dread.

“You’re not gonna stop.”

“We won’t. I won’t.” Daryl looked at you. “You still don’t think we can make it.”

“It’s…I just…” You felt a lump in your throat. “I don’t want any of you to die…I don’t want the Saviors to destroy the communities.”

“I don’t, either. But they can’t keep living like this. And I…” Daryl shook his head. “I can’t…I’m gonna kill them.”

“Just…I hope you win, I really do…” You’d be happy just with them staying alive, though, winning or losing.

“Ain’t you one of us?”

“What?”

“You’re always talking ‘bout us, as if you ain’t.”

“I…just…well…” His words took you by surprise. “I just, I know I’m new so…you all have taken me in but I wasn’t sure if they…dunno…saw me as one of them or even wanted me to be one…and…I know I’m doing nothing, I’m not helping.”

“You are, you were helping everyone who was injured today.” Daryl shrugged, looking away from you. “And you’re one of us now, if you want to be.”

A smile spread through your face, a warm feeling you hadn’t felt since being taken away from your community spreading through you. Maybe you could belong in there…at least, Maggie and Daryl made you feel like you could, like they wanted you to.

“Thanks…” You murmured, still smiling, and Daryl said nothing but gave you a tiny, half-smile.

*

When you woke up next morning, Daryl had already left to Alexandria. You thought you wouldn’t see him again until that war everyone kept talking about were over, for good or bad, but after a couple of days in which you tended to the sick and injured, and listened to Maggie and Jesus making plans, Daryl rode back to Hilltop one afternoon.

You couldn’t help your grin when you saw him, though those insistent twirls inside your stomach threw you aback…Daryl walked straight towards you, serious as ever, and you didn’t know if something was wrong or if it was just his usual self.

“Hi, it’s good to see you.”

“Hey, you good?” He stopped in front of you, though he kept looking around.

“I’m okay, you?”

“Yea, I gotta talk to Maggie.” He began walking towards Jesus’ trailer and you followed him.

“There’s something wrong?”

“No…it’s Dwight.” Daryl rummaged into his pocket, passing you a piece of paper. “He sent this, with an arrow, the location of Savior’s outposts…don’t know if it’s a trick or what.”

Not even five minutes later, you both were sat down with Jesus and Maggie, examining the paper.

“I don’t know…” You let out a sigh, reading the paper again. “I seriously didn’t get to know much of what the Saviors did, I was always inside the Sanctuary for…you know. But yeah, I think…I think maybe I’ve heard about a couple of these places before. I think they might be real outposts.”

“So either Dwight is really helping us dismantle them…” Jesus began.

“Or he’s setting us up.” Daryl finished.

“Either way, could be our only chance.” Maggie’s face was serious, but she looked as determined as ever. “We have to go check one.”

“The sooner the better.” Daryl was already getting up. “I’ll go check it tomorrow.”

“I’ll go with you.” Jesus offered.

“Alright.” Daryl nodded. “I’m gonna head back, tell Rick we’re doing it.” He pointed at a map. “I’ll meet you tomorrow there.”

“We’ll sort the details through walkie.” Jesus was walking into the trailer, to get things ready you guessed, while Maggie was alternating between looking at the piece of paper and the map, marking things, while Daryl began making his way back to his bike, and you decided to follow him.

“You won’t stay for the night?”

“No, I have to tell Rick and get all ready. I think I can reach Alexandria before the light goes out.”

“Alright…take care.”

“Yeah, you too.” Daryl reached to squeeze your arm absently, already getting onto his bike.

“Just…it’s good to see you…like…when you come back…” You didn’t know why you felt so shy all of a sudden, but you couldn’t meet his eyes as you spoke. “I know it’s cos you all are planning this fight and got things to sort and…yeah, well, anyway, I like to see you…so…yeah.” You decided to stop your babble, embarrassed, you didn’t know what had gotten into you.

Daryl was looking at the ground and you were sure you’d made him awkward and maybe he was thinking you were silly. You were about to turn around and leave, when he looked at you.

“I’ll try to come and check on you after we find out what’s going on with that outpost, alright?”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to, sorry…” You looked down, embarrassed, feeling like a burden as your cheeks lighted up pink.

“Nah, I want to. I’ll come.”

“Okay…” A smile spread across your face and you waved goodbye to Daryl as he rode away, those stubborn butterflies dancing in your belly again.

*

It hadn’t been a trick, Jesus told you so once he was back. They’d dismantled the outpost and got the guns, and so now the plan was to keep eliminating as many outposts as possible. Which meant Maggie and him were busy as ever getting things ready.

Daryl hadn’t come, and you understood, he’d a lot of things to do in Alexandria now…still, you wished you could see him before things got even more busy, because hearing Maggie and Jesus speak, something big seemed to be coming.

Next day, you were sat down on a picnic table when you heard a bike approaching, and as you looked up you saw Daryl riding into Hilltop. With a big grin on your face, you went to greet him.

“You came!”

“Told you I would.” Daryl didn’t look at you as he dismounted.

“Yeah…Jesus said everything went well?”

“It did,” Daryl nodded, walking with you back to the trailers. “Gotta talk to him and Maggie about what we’re gonna do now.”

And so for the next couple of hours, until it got dark, you sat outside with them while they talked. Everything they planned sounded beyond dangerous to you, but you knew better than to say anything. They were going to dismantle as many outposts as possible, taking the guns they could find, and then attack the Sanctuary itself. It was crazy. How could they actually think they could attack the Saviors’ base, with fences, and all, and win?

“That’s suicide!” You couldn’t help but speak up. “The Saviors are going to be protected behind walls, and what not, shooting to you from above, there’s no way you can win like that! I know you want to fight, but this is crazy!”

“Yeah, she’s kind of right.” Jesus agreed with you, much to your relief.

“Ain’t finished yet,” Daryl grumbled. “The idea ain’t to defeat them like that. Rick said there’s this herd of walkers passing close, always at the same hour. We throw a fence down, we make a hole, anything, and walkers get in. No savior is getting in or out without being eaten. Rick reckons they’ll surrender.”

“That still sounds crazy…and I’m not sure Negan knows the word ‘surrender’.” Your new friends seemed to only have dangerous ideas…lead a herd of walkers? That sounded like a great way to become walkers food.

“No, no, it could work, it’s good.” Maggie spoke up. “But the Saviors from the outposts could aid the Sanctuary, lead the walkers away…we have to make sure there are no outposts left.”

“Working on it.” Daryl nodded.

“I’ll get ready a group for it too, we’ll make sure all the places are covered,” Maggie said. “I’ll ask the Kingdom too. Negan doesn’t surrender? His Saviors will when they see there’s no other choice.”

“Or they’ll die.” Daryl finished.

And like that, it was settled. You were still doubtful about it, but you had to admit they talked with such confidence, as if planning these sort of things were second nature to them, that it made you have a little of hope. If they actually managed to get walkers inside the fences…it could work, maybe…you just hoped the other wives and workers would be safe enough, protected behind the walls of the place. You didn’t see Negan surrendering the Sanctuary, but no matter how loyal his Saviors were, if they had to choose between death or betrayal…maybe they wouldn’t be so loyal anymore.

Later that night, Daryl was offered the couch of the trailer that had become your own, though you weren’t sure if he’d sleep in there or not. You were about to get into the bed when you noticed Daryl was sat down outside on the stairs, smoking. You went to sit down next to him, and when Daryl noticed you he put down the cigarette.

“So…when does the fight start?” You asked, chewing on your lip.

“In about a week. We dismantle as many outpost as we can next week, get guns, and then we go for the Sanctuary.”

“It sounds dangerous…attacking the Sanctuary and bringing walkers there…”

“Ain’t enough,” Daryl complained. “Just getting them trapped in there…we should do more…and you said Negan won’t surrender.”

“I mean…I don’t know, I’ve never seen him surrounded by walkers…” You only knew him as the cocky king of everything. “But Saviors will, they won’t die for Negan.” Daryl only hummed at that. “What happens to the Saviors at the outposts?”

“We kill them.”

“Do you have to?”

“They’re Saviors.”

“Yeah, I know…” You knew how most of them were, and still… “And I was one of Negan’s wives, and worked in there.”

“Ain’t the same.”

“How? How you know who you should kill? If you had only read a paper saying ‘Negan’s wife is working as a nurse in this outpost’, you’d have killed me.”

“I wouldn’t…” Daryl frowned, though he didn’t sound too sure of himself…you wondered if he had even thought about it, or if he was just killing every savior he could…not that they hadn’t it coming, but you didn’t feel you could deal with so much death. “We ain’t killing workers, just Saviors.”

“Okay…” You didn’t say anything else, the last thing you wanted was to argue. Daryl didn’t say anything either, though you caught him glancing at you through the corner of his eye a couple of times. “It’s not that I don’t want the Saviors to be stopped, you know I do.” Daryl hummed a yes. “And I want Negan to die. I know I’m not helping much…”

“You told us stuff about the Sanctuary. You help people that get injured, that’s your job, we need it.” Daryl said, reassuring you, though you still felt like you weren’t doing enough to compensate everything that these people had done for you.

“I guess…maybe I should go to the battles?” It scared you, but maybe that way you could help people. Daryl looked at you at that, eyes confused and surprised, but before he could say anything you spoke again. “I don’t mean to fight, and I’d stay back, just…if someone’s injured then I’d help them faster than having to bring them to Hilltop.” Depending on the severity of the injuries, if there wasn’t anyone with medical training there, people could die.

“No, you stay in here.”

“But-”

“No, it’s dangerous. You can’t fight. And you’re pregnant.”

“Maggie’s pregnant too and she’s going to fight!” No one was telling her not to, not even mentioning it.

“She’s a fighter, a good one. She ain’t standing back. Doesn’t mean I ain’t worried.” Daryl shrugged. “But she deserves to fight, after what the Saviors did to her, after what Negan took from her.”

“He took things from me to…” You said weakly…not the same than from Maggie, but still. “He did things to me…” You looked down, feeling a lump in your throat.

“He’ll pay. He’ll die.” Daryl assured you. “But you gotta stay safe in here and help by healing people, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah…” You nodded, trying to give Daryl a weak but grateful smile. “I’m useless to fight anyway…” You joked bitterly.

“But you’re a nurse.” Daryl shrugged. “And you’re training with the knife, ain’t you?” You nodded. “You’ll get better at it. People in Alexandria, most of them couldn’t fight, but they trained, they learned, they’re gonna fight.”

You could only hope all of them would be safe.

“Thanks, Daryl.”

For a while you both stayed silent, until you decided it was past bedtime, and you got up, saying goodnight to Daryl.

“Don’t think I could come back until next week or so,” Daryl told you.

“Oh…not until after the fight?” You didn’t want to think on anything bad happening to Daryl during that fight, but still, you were afraid of not seeing him before that, and then…

“Don’t know…I’ll try to come back before it, but I don’t know.”

“Thanks…told you, I like it…when you come back and that…to see you…” You shrugged shyly, blushing a deep red and looking away.

“Like to see you too…” Daryl murmured as you retreated into the trailer.

Next morning, you didn’t wake up before Daryl left, his bike gone already when you sat down to have breakfast. Maggie sat down with you, and she informed you Jesus had left too, he’d go with Daryl and Rick to inspect another of those outposts. She’d stay behind, making plans and getting things ready for the fight, and also organising stuff with the Kingdom too. You hoped you could help her, if only a bit.

“You’re good with Daryl,” She said out of the blue, taking you aback.

“What?”

“Just…you both seem to get along really well, I saw you both talking yesterday, it’s not the first time.”

“We’re friends, I guess.” You shrugged shyly. “I like to talk to him.”

“It seems he likes it too.”

“I guess…” You hoped so.

Maggie just smiled, and you still felt a bit lost. “Anyway…help me try and explain all our plans to the Kingdom? It’s a pain to do it through walkie” She complained and you nodded, following her. “I hope they send someone so we can actually speak…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The attack of the Sanctuary is coming! Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and comenting on this, it really means the world.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	12. Chapter 12

Days seemed to fly as everyone kept getting ready for the fight, and before you knew it, the day before the big fight arrived.

You’d reviewed the plans a hundred times with Maggie, and yet you felt as if you could panic at any moment. You’d stay at the Hilltop with one of the walkies, Maggie would have another one to talk to you, so you could give instructions about what to do if someone got injured and also to inform you if they were bringing back someone hurt so you could have everything ready.

Maggie was with the group that would attack the Sanctuary, while Jesus would go to attack the remaining outposts, and Daryl would be the one leading the herd of walkers to the Sanctuary. You didn’t know which one sounded more dangerous or worried you more, but you knew you were worried out of your mind.

You were feeling short of breath half of the time, but you were trying not to show it, trying to get a hold on yourself, so as to be useful and help as much as possible.

You were now sat down on a picnic table at the outside of the medical trailer, feeling quite overwhelmed by everything, but the sound of a bike riding into the Hilltop brought a smile to your face. Daryl. He’d come. You waved at him, grinning like an idiot, and he made his way to you.

“Hey.”

“Hi! You come to talk to Maggie?”

Daryl hummed a yes and looked away from you. “To you too,” he muttered, making your stomach do those stubborn twirls.

“They told me you’re going to be guiding the herd…sounds dangerous.”

“Ain’t the first time,” Daryl replied as he sat down next to you. “It’ll be okay.” You could only hope so. “We got all sorted out.”

You couldn’t believe that maybe in a couple of days you all might be free from the Saviors…a week listening to Maggie talking and planning had made you believe that it was almost possible, but you knew Negan well, and you were scared of how things might go, a big part of you afraid of your new friends being massacred. Still, you decided not to say anything. You didn’t want to think about it and you knew Daryl didn’t share your thoughts, set only on winning no matter what.

“What will you do, once this is over…like…if-when you win?” You asked instead.

“Dunno…” Daryl shrugged, frowning, and you got the feeling he hadn’t thought much about it. “Guess I’ll help around Alexandria…”

You nodded in silence…that meant that you wouldn’t see him often, if you kept staying at the Hilltop…you weren’t surprised about how little you liked the idea, even though you still didn’t know how could you have gotten so attached to Daryl. But he was a good guy, even if he was a troubled one, and he treated you with kindness…you liked his company and it was easy for you to talk to him…you liked him, you couldn’t help yourself.

“Alexandria was Maggie’s home too right? Before all this?” You asked. “She’ll be back too?”

“Dunno…she seems to be stepping as a leader here, she’d be a good one.” Daryl was right, you could see it. “Would like her to go back home but…up to her. What about you? Got something you wanna do?”

“I…I don’t know…” You realized you hadn’t given it much thought either. “I never thought I’d be free of that place…I guess I could keep working here as a nurse.”

Daryl hummed at that, and he gave you a quick side glance before looking down. “You could come to visit Alexandria one day. Maybe. If you want.”

A smile spread across your face. You’d like it, you’d like it very much…would he want it too, or was he just being polite? You felt giddy at the idea of Daryl actually wanting you to go visit him.

“I’d like that a lot.” You grinned and Daryl looked at you, small lopsided smile on his face that sent those twirls to your stomach again. Then he frowned, looking at you up and down, making you feel rather self-conscious. “What?”

“Nothing, just…” Daryl looked away quickly. “You just kind of look more pregnant now.”

“Oh…” You looked down at your belly, you didn’t think it was bigger, but it was starting to take more the form of a very tiny baby bump, which could be seen now as you wore a fit tank top instead of the loose shirts you had been wearing since you could ditch Negan’s damn black dress. “Yeah, I guess I’m about four months pregnant now or so… maybe more than a month further than Maggie as I first thought…”

You hadn’t really paid much attention to the details at the Sanctuary, not looking forward to having baby Negan.

“I gotta talk to Maggie.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to her.” You got up. “She’s talking with a woman from the Kingdom, a friend of yours, you told me about her-”

“Carol?” Daryl asked before you could finish.

“Yeah.”

Daryl didn’t say anything else, but you couldn’t help your smile at the way his eyes lighted up at that.

Later that day, after you listened worriedly to more dangerous plans being made, you walked Daryl back to his bike, it was time for him to make his way back to Alexandria and help to get everything ready for the next day.

“Be careful tomorrow.”

Daryl nodded, getting onto his bike. “Listen to Maggie, alright?” It was your time to nod now, and you felt a lump in your throat knowing that tomorrow he’d be headed to all sorts of dangers, from leading walkers to attacking the Sanctuary itself, and raiding outposts. Daryl reached out, patting your arm softly.

“Daryl…” You called weakly when he turned to look forward.

“Yeah?”

Instead of answering, you reached out to wrap your arms around him gingerly, hoping you would make him uncomfortable or angry. You felt him stiff, but also his hands came to rest softly on your waist, holding you back. It lasted only a few seconds, no one of you looking at each other as you pulled away.

“Take care,” Daryl said quietly before riding away.

You blinked quick, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall down your eyes. You did cry the next morning, though, saying goodbye to Maggie, looking at her and Jesus march off to battle, leaving you there to worry about them, scared to death about your new friends, about the idea of the people who you were starting to love and care for so much, dying that day. They walked which such confidence, though…you wished you could walk like that too.

*

You rubbed your eyes, trying to take deep breaths, trying to win the fight against your lungs that wanted to stop working. You needed to control yourself, you needed to keep helping, you couldn’t just cry…

You had spent the last few hours being informed through walkie about how things were going at the Sanctuary, giving instructions about how to give first aid to the people injured, and now you were getting everything ready to help the ones that were going to be brought in soon. Several people had been injured, some had died, but they had told you the plan had worked, leaving the Sanctuary surrounded by walkers, Negan and his Saviors trapped inside.

Soon the cars were driving into the Hilltop and you shifted to nurse mood, helping everyone who needed it. Maggie was back, safe and sound, though Jesus didn’t come back until later, almost when the sun was down. To everyone’s surprise, he brought with him a group of captive Saviors.

It took hours for Maggie to decide, in her role of the new leader of the Hilltop now, but finally she decided not to kill them, allowing them to stay locked at the Hilltop. You were tired of so much death, and you knew maybe some of those Saviors could change, some might even not be that bad, but still…having them so close scared you and filled you with anxiety.

That day another man from Alexandria came to stay at the Hilltop, a friend of Maggie, Jesus, and Daryl, called Aaron. He brought with him a baby girl who Daryl and Rick had found in an outpost. She was all babbly cuteness, but the idea of Rick and Daryl murdering her father during the outpost’s raid made you feel uneasy.

Aaron had taken the baby as his, but you could see he was hurting. You didn’t want to ask or pry, but by what you could gather, he seemed to have lost his boyfriend during the Sanctuary attack. It saddened you to no end, but you didn’t know how to help. He seemed to feel better whenever he held baby Gracie, though. You’d never had much motherly instinct, but whether it was the hormones or something else, you found yourself drawn to the baby too, holding her and cuddling her whenever you could, and so did Maggie. It seemed little Gracie had a thing to comfort people, even if she was still just a baby.

Late that night, when you finally could go back to sleep, you locked the door of the trailer, but still, nightmares of the Saviors breaking out of their makeshift prison and taking you hostage, bringing you back to Negan, haunted you. Each time you woke up, you found yourself wishing Daryl was there, sleeping on the couch or the bedroll…you wondered what he might be doing now, back in Alexandria hopefully. Maggie had told you that the last time she saw him, as he lead the herd to the Sanctuary’s doors, he’d been fine, but then he’d left with Rick to one of the outposts…You told yourself he’d be just fine…you had to hope so.

*

The next day passed in a blur of helping people and listening to more planning, though now there wasn’t much to do but wait, everyone would go back to the Sanctuary in a couple of days and ask for their surrender. You still weren’t sure Negan would actually surrender, but they had told you how they had left the Sanctuary surrounded by a massive herd of walkers, so you hoped some of the Saviors decided to stand against Negan in order to save themselves.

It was late, the sun already going down, when you heard a bike. You walked towards the doors on time to see them opening, Daryl talking to the guards before riding inside. Your first thought was one of worry, no matter you always liked it when Daryl came, you were scared thinking something bad had happened. He wasn’t supposed to come, he was dismantling an outpost and then helping get everything ready in Alexandria, you didn’t expect to see him until after the Sanctuary surrendered.

You rushed to him as he dismounted the bike, and as you approached and noticed some scrapes on his face and a cut on his forehead, you couldn’t help but panic more.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Daryl nodded, looking down, and you felt something was off with him.

“You sure, but-”

“Ain’t nothing!” He snapped.

“Okay.” You bit your lip as his tone and he looked at you, muttering a sorry that wasn’t audible. You couldn’t pinpoint what, but there was definitely something off. “Need to talk to Maggie? I’ll go tell her you are here.”

“Didn’t come to talk to her…”

You frowned, confused, but Daryl wasn’t saying much else, still looking down. You wondered if he had come just to see you…it was a beautiful idea, but the timing was off, and you could feel there was something going on, something that wasn’t good, but you didn’t know how to ask.

“I did something…”

“What did you do?” You asked and Daryl glanced at you before looking down again, silent, and you tried to come up with another way to go about it. “Wanna come sit with me in my trailer?”

Daryl nodded, and he followed you back to your trailer. Once there, you signaled him to sit down on the couch, and to your surprise, he actually listened to you. You took the first aid kit you kept in the trailer, no matter the medical one was close, and you sat down next to Daryl. While you poured disinfectant on a gauze, Daryl stared at the ground with vacant eyes, seeming lost in thought, but when you reached out to clean the scrapes, he pulled away.

“Don’t,” you said softly. “Let me.” Daryl didn’t say anything but stayed still, allowing you to dab the gauze pad on his scrapes. It wasn’t severe at all, the worse one was on his forehead and it was a minor cut anyway, and it looked like Daryl had already cleaned his face, but still you wanted to disinfect all the cuts. “Now tell me what happened,” you asked gently when you finished.

Daryl was still looking down, but he began talking. “I was with Rick at the outpost and a guy drove away with a truck full of weapons. We followed him. I fell off my bike…it was nothing.” He added as if knowing how hearing that had worried you, scared he might have knocked his head, or bruised a rib, or hurt himself anywhere else. “Rick caught the truck…and we fought…I wanted to take the guns, go back to the Sanctuary, attack…having it surrounded by walkers ain’t enough…but Rick had other plans so we fought…and we lost the truck…”

You were trying to catch up on what Daryl was telling you, missing details here and there, but you were confused and surprised hearing of his disagreement with Rick, and you wondered how bad the fight had been…you bit your tongue so as not to say anything, afraid that if you stopped him, then Daryl might not keep speaking with you like that.

“But I knew that having walkers surrounding the Sanctuary wasn’t enough…so I went to Alexandria and asked Tara to help me with it, so we got a truck and we drove to the Sanctuary and through the fences, and I crashed it against a wall, made a hole so the walkers got inside…”

It took you a little while to process what Daryl was saying, and then you didn’t know what to feel, becoming a mess of feelings.

“You did what?” You looked at Daryl wide eyed, but he was still looking at the ground. “Walkers are getting in?!” What about the people who lived there? Would they be eaten? “But…but you know about the people who work there, who are forced to be there…the wives…”

“I crashed it on the other building,” he rasped. “The Savior’s one. Most workers should be good.”

“Most? And what about the others?!” You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “There could be people working at the Sanctuary building, you were! The wives live upstairs!” Were the women, your friends, being devoured right now? You felt tears in your eyes. You couldn’t believe Daryl would do such a thing.

“They’ll be good…” Daryl murmured but he didn’t sound that convincing. “They can lock themselves in the rooms or something…we’ll go tomorrow, the Saviors will surrender and we’ll clear the walkers…”

“They could be dead by then! Not only the Saviors, you know it!” Your tears of fear and worry mixed with tears of anger.

“It had to be done, they had to be stopped…”

“At the cost of people’s lives?” You snapped. “Of the death of people who are forced to be in there?” Daryl didn’t say anything, just shrugged. “You don’t care, do you? You only care about killing Saviors and you don’t care about who gets killed to get that.” You got up, pacing around, trying to stop crying and keep breathing, while Daryl still didn’t say anything or looked up. “I told you, if I had been in an outpost you’d have killed me, and you said no, but you would. And right now, if I were there, you would have let me get devoured without bat an eye.”

You’d managed to keep breathing, standing with your back to Daryl, but you hadn’t managed to stop the tears.

“Ain’t like that…” You heard Daryl’s quiet voice and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe it. Then you felt him walking past you, out of the trailer, and you followed him outside.

“Where you going?”

“Back to Alexandria.” He replied without stopping.

“But it’s dark already! It’s dangerous.”

“What you care?” Daryl snapped, and honestly, it offended you.

You walked faster, grabbing his arm to make him stop so you could step in front of him. “You know I care.” You said firmly and Daryl scoffed.

“I know what you think of me,” he said without meeting your eyes.

“I’m…” You tried to make sense of your mix of feelings, and select your words carefully. “I’m disappointed at you, yeah. ‘Cause…’cause I think you’re a good man, okay? But you go and do something like that…something so horrible…I hate it.” You felt tears on your eyes again. “And maybe I don’t know you, but I still think you’re a good man, but if you keep going this way…then what are you going to be? I…I want to think you’re not like that. You helped me, you saved me…and you want to help your people, but do you want to do that by letting other good people die? It’s just…no.”

“They’ll be okay. We’ll clear the walkers tomorrow when the Saviors surrender.” Daryl rasped, eyes still glued to the ground.

“It could be too late. You know it.” Daryl glanced at you at that for a second, keeping his head down, and then he began walking to his bike again.

“Daryl…” You let out a sigh, following him. “Come on, it’s late. It’s dangerous.”

“Gotta go back to Alexandria, there’s stuff to do and I gotta be there in the morning,” he said as he got onto his bike.

“Okay…” You had to trust Daryl was skilled enough to not run into trouble while riding at night.

Daryl didn’t turn on the engine, didn’t look at you either, but then he spoke. “I’d have killed you. You’re right. If you’d been at the outpost and I didn’t know you. And I hadn’t known you were pregnant. I would.” You nodded, you had known it, yet you couldn’t help the tears that filled your eyes. “But…but I wouldn’t have left you at the Sanctuary with the walkers now…wouldn’t let you get hurt…”

You nodded again, you thought you knew that too. “Because you know me now, but what about the ones you don’t know? Other wives? They’re good women trying to deal with the situation they’re given…but…it looks as if you don’t care…”

Daryl didn’t say anything, but he looked at you for the first time. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Why you came to tell me?”

Daryl just shrugged, turning the engine and driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are halfway through the story and Daryl had to go and do that (It didn’t make sense to me in canon, but well…)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	13. Chapter 13

Next morning you were having breakfast at the outside of the trailer after barely having slept, when Maggie joined you, frowning.

“The guards told me Daryl came last night?” She asked you, seeming confused, and you realized Daryl had come and gone without Maggie actually knowing anything.

“Oh yeah…but he had to left soon, he was here not even an hour…”

“Okay…” She just seemed more confused. “There’s something wrong? Why did nobody tell me anything? Any change on the plans?”

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. It seemed Daryl had come to tell what he’d done only to you, and maybe not many others knew it. He’d trusted you with it, and you didn’t want to betray his trust, but at the same time you didn’t know if it was important for Maggie to know it or not, or if Daryl would care if she knew…

“No, nothing, it wasn’t about that…”You found yourself saying, if Daryl had wanted to tell Maggie, then he would have, it wasn’t your place to do so. “He just…he came to talk with me.”

“Oh…I see…” Maggie’s frown disappeared and she smirked. “And he couldn’t even spare me five minutes…” She chuckled, not seeming angry.

“You were busy and he was in a rush…”

“Yeah well…” Maggie shrugged, still smiling softly. “I know he likes to talk to you, I told you.”

“And I like to talk with him too. But…I don’t know…I know he’s a good man but…all this war, all this killing…it’s taking a toll on people, isn’t it? Including him, you see it right?”

Maggie’s smile was gone at that, face dark. “Yeah…and you told me everything he went through at the Sanctuary…who can be the same after all we have gone through? You aren’t the same either, are you?” You shook your head at that. “But it’s what we have to pay in order to survive.”

You guessed so…but you hated it still. Maggie reached out to pat your arm with a sad smile. “Things will get better.”

It did seem Maggie wasn’t right. She, Jesus, and their Hilltop’s militia left to join Rick at the Sanctuary and ask for surrender, but they came back with worse than bad news. The Sanctuary was surrounded no more, and the walkers had disappeared…you could only wonder if it had something to do with what Daryl had done, but still, you said nothing, hoping it wasn’t the case. On top of that, the Kingdom’s militia had been massacred, and the Kingdom itself had been sieged, the King, Carol, and Jerry taking refuge at the Hilltop. Rick had rushed to Alexandria, fearing the Saviors had gotten out and they might attempt something.

“You still think things will get better?” You asked Maggie, feeling beyond anxious about everything.

“Yes,” she nodded, though she looked worried. “We beat them once, we can beat them again. We will.”

*

Next morning, you had barely been awake for ten minutes, when the Hilltop’s doors opened and a big group of people walked in, led by Daryl, who had a little blond girl on his arms. You rushed to them, sure that whatever was happening wasn’t good, but Maggie, Carol, and Enid were faster, running to them. You stopped on your tracks when you saw their shocked faces when Daryl spoke, their tears, the way in which Enid fell to her knees, and then you ran towards them.

“What happened?!” You asked to Daryl, who was walking away with an arm around Carol’s shoulders, while Maggie held Enid to her. Much to your surprise, Carol was crying too, and Daryl’s eyes were wet and pained too. You couldn’t help but panic.

“Alexandria fell, the Saviors bombarded it, we had to leave,” Daryl said without stopping walking. It sounded more than horrible, but still, seeing everyone’s reaction, you felt there might be something else going on, but before you could ask Daryl spoke again. “Y/N, we’ll talk later.” With that, he walked away with Carol.

Maggie was helping Enid up, holding her and walking them both away too, and for a moment you didn’t know what to do, but then Jesus approached you, squeezing your arm reassuringly before asking you to help him, Rosita, and Tara to arrange everything for the Alexandrians, who seemed quite traumatized. A young man who introduced himself as Siddiq told you he’d been studying to be a doctor, which was the best news you all could have, and so you show him the medical trailer and how everything worked.

Once everyone was settled and fed, and you had checked the people who might need it at the infirmary, Jesus approached you again while you watched from afar how Maggie tried to comfort Enid, even though Maggie herself was crying too. Jesus approached you, sitting down next to you.

“Her boyfriend died, Carl, Rick’s kid, you met him briefly. It wasn’t the Saviors, it was a bite…it’s not fair…” Jesus shook his head and you felt your heart breaking. “He was like a nephew for Maggie, for Carol and Daryl…he was a good kid.”

You didn’t know what to say, brokenhearted at the poor boy meeting such end, Jesus was right, it wasn’t fair, things like that shouldn’t happen. You hated that your friends were hurting so much, suffering such a loss, but you didn’t know how to offer them any comfort. There was no comfort, no for something like that.

*

That night, when everyone went to sleep, you went looking for Daryl, who hadn’t gone to the trailer and wasn’t in any of the house’s rooms either. You hadn’t had time to talk with him alone, as he’d been busy talking with everyone about what was going to happen now, and helping around. You found him sat down on a picnic table and you approached him, sitting down next to him.

You reached out and placed your hand softly over his, on top of his knee, even though you worried it might anger him or made him flinch. His hand flinched indeed, but not enough to push yours away, and he kept his hand tucked under yours.

“Don’t have to talk to me or nothing,” Daryl murmured even though you hadn’t said anything. “I know you’re angry. Don’t have to sit with me.”

“It’s not like that…” You let out a sigh, and you decided to try and lace your fingers with his softly, hoping he wouldn’t flinch. He didn’t. “I’m disappointed and angry at what you did. But I care for you, I told you. Actually, I care a lot.” You felt yourself blush as you looked away, but you wanted him to know. “And I’m gonna be here for you, always.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, but you felt his hand holding yours a little bit more firmly, and you squeezed his gently.

“How’re you?” You asked him softly and Daryl looked at you, shrugging and shaking his head, eyes wet, and your heart broke again. “Come here.” You wrapped your arms around him, couldn’t help yourself, but Daryl didn’t struggle, snuggling to you and hiding his face on the crook of your shoulder.

“Ain’t fair,” he sniffed without pulling away from you. “Walker bit him, just like that. It shouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t make sense.”

You shushed him softly and held him to you, feeling him shake when he finally couldn’t stop himself any longer, his tears wetting your shirt, and you wished there was something you could do to take his pain away, but you could only stroke his hair softly as he cried.

Daryl didn’t look at you when he eventually pulled away, but you didn’t mind, he was shy you knew, but you placed a soft kiss to his cheek. He did look at you at that, seeming a bit taken aback, before looking away still silent, though his hand found his way to yours again.

“What do we do now?” You asked quietly.

“We fight. And we win.”

*

The next day, Rick and Michonne arrived. One by one, their friends went to greet them and talk to them. You knew they must be brokenhearted, but you thought you didn’t knew them enough, and so you offered your condolences but left them with their friends. Soon, though, Rick was leaving, along with Daryl, to scout the surroundings and get things ready for when the Saviors came to Hilltop too. People were getting things ready inside the Hilltop too, following Maggie’s instructions, and so you helped them for a while.

Later that day, you were in your room, baby Grace napping on her crib, and Judith on the carpet with you while you tried to feed her. There was a knock on the door and when you said to whoever it was to came in, the door opened and Daryl walked in. He nodded at you, and when Judith saw him she began smiling and babbling, crawling to him when Daryl sat down next to you, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

Smiling, you gave Daryl’s Judith’s dinner, and you watched while he finished feeding her, something twirling inside your belly as you saw him tending to the little girl, who obviously adored him. It seemed to be mutual.

“You’re good with kids.” That was something you hadn’t expected just by looking at Daryl. He didn’t say anything, just shrugged and picked up Judith, pacing across the room with her on his arms.

“Gotta head out soon and keep watch so we can give the alarm with time when the Saviors come,” he said quietly.

“You think they’ll come?” Everything was ready for the fight, the plan was good, but you felt anxious anyway.

“Hope so…and Maggie made her point clear when she sent them one of their own in a box.”

“That was crazy! Don’t tell me it wasn’t.” You hadn’t seen it, but they had told you, and it sounded horrible and reckless.

“It sends the message. They’ll come.” Daryl shrugged. “We’ll fight, we got it all ready.”

“I hope it works…” You murmured.

“You gotta stay in here with the kids, right?” Daryl asked while he passed you Judith back, who seemed about to fall asleep, and you nodded, you would stay in there with Judith and also Grace. “Okay, we should hold them back, but lock the door anyway. Can you shoot that?” He pointed at the sniper rifle someone had left on the room, just in case.

“I can try…” You doubted it, you had never done it, but you didn’t want to say that.

“Come here.” Daryl took the riffle and you left Judith on the bed before going to stand next to him. He passed you the riffle and you held it awkwardly, but Daryl softly repositioned your arms. “You gotta hold it like that, alright?” You nodded. “Now, look through the scope.” Daryl had positioned the riffle so it’d peek out of the window, and as you looked through the scope you found how closer the treeline seemed. “Once you got your target in the middle of the scoop, you’ll press the tiger. Careful with the kickback.”

You nodded again, lowering the riffle. You weren’t sure you would actually be able to shoot, but at least you had seen how to hold it properly.

“Thanks.”

“Gotta go. Close the window, and don’t open it unless you really have to, don’t stay close to it either.” Daryl instructed.

“Okay…be careful.”

Daryl nodded and reached out to pat your arm, but you stepped closer and kissed his cheek ever so softly. Daryl seemed surprised, even a bit startled and awkward, but he gave you a tiny, barely there, crocked smile before walking out of the room.

*

You were pacing anxiously around the room, waiting for the Saviors to show up and the fight to start. Enid was sat down on the bed, seeming expectant too, though she seemed to be holding it together better than you. Soon, the silence was interrupted by the sound of vehicles approaching, and then the gunfire began.

“Y/N, come here,” Enid called after you as she noticed your eyes going to the window. “Maggie said we shouldn’t be close to the window.”

You bit your lip, you really wanted to see what was going on, but you nodded. The shooting had waken up the kids, and you picked up Grace, who was crying, rocking her while Enid tried to comfort Judith, who seemed scared. Suddenly, the shooting stopped and everything went dark, which signaled the start of the second part of the plan. You had been told not to have any light on inside the room, and you couldn’t see anything around, until suddenly, the lights came back and so did the shooting. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking any longer, and you passed Gracie to Enid.

“Y/N…”

“It’ll be just a second.” You looked outside through the closed window, but everything seemed chaos, people running here and there, shooting.

“How it’s looking?” Enid asked, trying to calm down Gracie again.

“I’m not sure…” You took the rifle and looked through the scope. “I think…I think Saviors are going away!” Some kept shooting but others were getting into the vehicles. “But…but there are people on the ground I think…I think they’re injured…or dead…”

“Many?”

“A few…can’t see Maggie…no wait, she’s there, she’s good, she’s with Jesus!”

You were looking around, looking for two people in particular for two different reasons, but you were unable to find either Daryl nor Negan. You opened the window, ignoring Enid’s warnings, so you could take a better look, but you still couldn’t find Daryl, and among the Saviors that you recognized, Negan wasn’t one of the familiar faces. There was one, though, that stand up to the others for you.

He’d been there, when you were taken from your community. You could see it as if it were yesterday, he’d been ordering your people around, taking everything from them, threatening them while you were taken away from them in one of the trucks. You didn’t even think it. He was in the middle of the scoop and you pressed the trigger.

“Shit!” The kickback made your shoulder burn more than you had imagined.

“Y/N? What did you do?” You heard Enid’s worried voice.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” You looked through the scope again and saw the man dead on the ground. You had done it. You had made the shot and you had killed a man. You didn’t know which one of those things surprised you more, or how you were feeling, but suddenly you felt a bit nauseous.

“Y/N!” Jesus’ voice from the ground took you out of your dumbfounded state. “Close that window!” You did so, still in shock, and soon all the shooting stopped, so you looked through the window and found the Saviors’ vehicles driving away.

“I’ve to go to the infirmary and help everyone. Stay with the kids.” You told Enid.

“Alright.”

You had just walked out of the house when a hand grabbed your arm softly and you yelped, startled, but it was only Daryl, and you let out a relieved sigh. He was okay, he was safe too. You’d been worried when you couldn’t see him through the window.

“Are the kids okay?” He asked you, letting go of your arm when you yelped.

“Yes, they’re with Enid, they’re all fine.” You nodded. “And you? I was worried…”

“I’m good, you?”

“I’m okay too,” you assured him. “I’m going to the infirmary, get everything ready, help me bring in the people who need it?”

“Sure.”

It was a frantic couple of hours in which you and Siddiq helped everyone who had been injured, giving instruction to the people who were helping you. Siddiq and you placed most of the injured inside the house with Siddiq watching over them, while a few others would stay in two trailers parked at the sides of the medical one, and you’d watch over them. It was going to be a long night.

After a while of working, you heard a knock on the trailer and you found Daryl standing outside the open door, and your first instinct was to worry.

“There’s something wrong?”

“No, just…came to check on you.” Daryl shrugged, looking down. “Brought you something to eat.”

“Thanks.” You smiled shyly. “I was about to take a break.” You followed Daryl to the picnic table where he’d placed a bowl of stew.

“Is everyone okay?” Daryl asked while you devoured the still warm stew.

“Siddiq and I have done everything we could, and I hope everyone will pull through.”

“Good, you should get some rest.”

“Someone will come in the morning and I’ll sleep then.” You were tired, but it was your duty to keep watch over the people in the trailers, and that was what you were going to do. Daryl didn’t say anything, just hummed, as if he knew there was no way of changing your mind on that. “Daryl…it was…was Negan here?”

“No, he was coming but Rick found him, they fought,” Daryl explained and you looked at him wide-eyed, nobody had told you about it. You knew Rick hadn’t been there during the fight, but he’d come back after it, you had seen him from afar while you worked.

“Did…did he kill him?” You asked with bated breath.

“No, tried, but couldn’t.”

You hadn’t been hopeful, if Rick had killed Negan everyone would know it and all of you would be celebrating, but anyway, it was a disappointment. Rick was alright, and that was the important thing, you guessed, but still…

“We’ll kill him,” Daryl assured you as if he could read your mind. “We won this battle too, we’ll win the war.”

You nodded, even though you didn’t know if you really believed it or not. “I…I killed someone today…shoot him with the rifle…it’s the first time I kill someone.”

“He had it coming,” Daryl told you softly. “Came here to kill us, and you know the things they do.”

“I know…” You nodded.

“You did good.”

“Yeah, I guess…” You shrugged and Daryl didn’t say anything, but he reached out to squeez your shoulder gently. You appreciated the gesture of comfort, but you couldn’t help your groan as he touched the shoulder that the kickback had hurt.

“Sorry.” Daryl pulled his hand away quickly.

“No, just…” You pulled at your shirt so Daryl could see the bruise forming on your shoulder. “I guess I’m not good with the riffle.”

“It takes time to get used to it.” Daryl inspected the bruise as if he were the nurse instead of you, which made you smile, and he seemed to decide it didn’t look too bad. “You didn’t miss the shot, you did good.”

“Thanks” You gave him a grateful smile. “I should go back in there…” You let out a sigh, nodding towards the medical trailer.

“I…if you want…” Daryl rambled and you frowned, looking at him. “I could stay with you if you want, maybe…” He shrugged. “Or not…”

“I’d really like that.” You couldn’t help your big smile, despite the situation. “I wouldn’t be alone and bored then. Thank you.”

Daryl just nodded, small smile tugging at his lips, and he walked with you to the infirmary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who still reads this and leave me lovely comments, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.
> 
> Pace is picking up! But there won’t be an update this thursday due to it being Halloween and to me having knee surgery that morning. More Daryl and Reader bonding time comes on Monday!


	14. Chapter 14

“I don’t know…everything seems to be okay…”

You frowned, looking at Siddiq checking the vitals of one of the people inside the house. You’d been having a quite late lunch after spending most of the afternoon napping, after non-sleeping for the whole night, alternating between taking care of your patients and talking with Daryl, when Siddiq had come tell you that some of the patients had come up with a fever. Neither of you could find what was wrong, though, maybe the injuries had gotten infected, but it didn’t look like so, and it wasn’t like you had the equipment you needed to run better tests.

“Don’t know either…let’s just keep looking after them, see if they improve…”

That’s how you spent your day, while Maggie and the others buried the dead and made plans about what to do now. The sky was getting dark when Daryl knocked on the open door of the trailer, bringing you dinner again.

“Got time to eat?” He asked and you smiled and nodded, following him to the picnic table. “They ain’t getting better?” Daryl asked, sitting down next to you.

“Some are okay, but others still have a temperature, Siddiq can’t find why and I can’t either.” You let out a tired sigh. Daryl didn’t say anything, just hummed, and you ate in silence, looking at him, his worried and tired face with dark circles under his eyes. “Haven’t you slept nothing today?” Daryl shook his head. “You didn’t sleep last night, you were with me. You really need to get some rest.”

“I’m fine…”

“I doubt you were getting proper rest before either so-”

“Ain’t time for resting.” Daryl cut you before you could say anything else, but you weren’t going to let it go.

“You have to sleep. You have time now. So come on, get your ass into that house, find a sofa, and sleep. Don’t make me go into nurse mode, because I’ll drag you there myself.” You half teased, smiling, and Daryl arched an eyebrow at you, seeming amused.

“Okay, I will.”

“I’ll keep an eye on you, so don’t go lying, I’ll make sure you’re resting and okay,” you joked, loving to see Daryl smile even if it was a small one.

He was now looking away, and you wondered what he was thinking. “When I was in the Sanctuary, at the infirmary with you…when you told me to work there for you. You said you’d take care of me…” He said quietly.

You didn’t remember it, but it did sound like something you might have said. You had wanted to make sure he was okay even back there, and now the urge to take care of him, to make sure he was good and safe, just grew bigger and bigger.

“I tried…and I still mean it. I will.” You bit your lip, blushing shyly but wanting him to know. You’d take care of him as much as you could, if he wanted you to, if he let you. Daryl had never told you anything like that, but you felt he’d been taking care of you, making sure you were alright, since you left the Sanctuary together.

He was silent now, looking away, though he glanced at you through the corner of his eye, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

*

It was the middle of the night and you were dozing off on the sofa at the medical trailer, even though you had tried your best to stay awake, when screams coming from the house woke you up with a start. You jumped onto your feet, grabbing the knife and rushing out of the trailer, but you couldn’t see anything, just hear more screams.

Your heart was beating fast, scared, you wanted to run away but you knew that something was wrong and you had to help. Before you could head to the house, though, a scream came from inside the trailer parked next to the medical one, and as you turned around you saw a walker coming out of it, falling down the stairs.

You screamed, couldn’t help it, recoiling from it as he crawled towards you, snapping. You hadn’t expected that, you didn’t know what was going on, but you could recognize him as one of your patients. You were tempted to run away and hide, but instead you forced yourself to be brave and you approached the crawling walker, dodging his reaching hands. You were terrified, but you grabbed his head, praying he wouldn’t get to bite you, and you sank your knife into his head, trying to remember the way Sasha had taught you.

It worked, the walker stopped moving, and you yanked your knife free. You could hear more noises from inside the trailer and you peeked in, finding another walker, someone who’d been there looking over the patients too, eating a man who had been there with a bullet wound. The walker’s head snapped at you as soon as he heard you, growling, but you forced yourself to approach and grab her hair. The walker was quicker this time, one of his hands grabbing you harder than you could have expected, and you yelped startled, but acting out of instinct, you managed to sink the knife into his head just in time.

You were breathing hard, but survival instinct prevented you from going into a full anxiety attack. You couldn’t faint there, if there were any other walker around they’d kill you, and the man lying on the floor with his stomach open would turn and devour you too. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the beating of your heart. You looked at the dead man, you knew what you had to do, it had to be done but still you felt like crying. Kneeling next to him, you put him down, preventing him from turning.

When you jumped out of the trailer, you were surprised by another walker, another patient, hands trying to grab you. You screamed but you grabbed her first, taking a hold of her arms and pushing her away enough to hold your knife properly. She tried to grab you again and you went to stab her but didn’t quite manage, the knife sliding and just cutting her face deeply instead. If she’d been alive, she’d have probably died, but she wasn’t, and so she grabbed you and you both fell to the ground.

You hit the back of your head but you didn’t have time to notice it, managing not to let go of your knife and to keep holding the walker far enough with your other hand. You grunted and cried, and you were pretty sure this was your end, but you couldn’t let yourself give up. Good luck and gravity combined so you wouldn’t die that day, and when the monster lowered down her half slashed head to bite you, the way in which you were holding your knife helped you manage to sink it into her eye before she could close her jaws on you, though the teeth still graced you as the walker fell down on top on you, though luckily not hard enough to wound you, just tearing the sleeve of your shirt.

“Y/N!”

You thought you heard Daryl’s panicked voice calling your name but you didn’t have time to process it, as you felt something grabbing your ankle. You screamed and struggled to push the corpse off you, seeing another walker grabbing your leg and trying to bit you. Terrified, you kicked him as hard as you could on the face so he couldn’t sink his teeth into your ankle, but his claws didn’t let go of you.

Before you knew what was happening, though, the walker was being yanked away from you by Daryl, who sank his knife into his head before turning back to you and pushing the other walker completely off you, and then he reached out to grab your arm and tug you onto your feet. You couldn’t help yourself from trying to wrap your arms around him and hide your face on his chest, terrified and in shock, but he didn’t let you as he held your arms, scared eyes frantically looking over you.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He was asking you, though it took you a few seconds to actually hear his words, as his scared eyes searched for wounds, tugging at your ripped sleeve. “You ain’t bit, are you?! Did she bite you?! I saw…I…”

Daryl looked almost as scared as you and you shook your head, unable to speak, and this time he didn’t stop you from burying your face onto his chest as you cried, though soon he was pulling away from you again. He tugged at your arm firmly to pull you back, stepping in front of you, and then he was taking his crossbow and aiming at another walker that came from inside the medical trailer, a woman you’d been looking after and who an hour ago seemed okay enough despite the fever. There was another one falling down the stairs of the next trailer, crawling and stumbling towards you once he managed to get up, but Daryl reloaded and shot again, the walker dropping dead. You both looked around but there didn’t seem to be more walkers.

“You sure you are okay?” Daryl turned to look at you again, worried. “I saw you falling down.”

“I’m okay.” You assured him, finally finding your voice. You’d hit the back of your head, but you were pretty sure you hadn’t a concussion, and it wasn’t bleeding even though there was probably a bruise forming.

“I gotta keep helping inside the house, there were walkers everywhere, get inside one of the trailers and lock the door.”

“No, I want to stay with you, please,” you begged. You were scared and in shock, and even though your brain knew you were safe locked inside a trailer, you didn’t want to be away from Daryl, feeling safer with him.

Daryl looked you over, hesitant, but he nodded. “Alright, don’t get separated.”

You clutched his arm, there was no way you were letting go of him, and you both rushed towards the house.

“Those walkers, they were the people I was looking after, what’s going on?” You asked, out of breath as you followed Daryl’s fast pace.

“Dunno but it’s the same inside, could they have died and turned?”

“They were fine an hour ago, you don’t die of a minor wound in your shoulder and a broken ankle.” 

Daryl looked at you but didn’t say anything, and you knew he didn’t understand it either. Once inside the house, it seemed all the walkers had been subdued, but you were shocked at the number of dead people you could see on the ground, and the bitten ones.

“Hey!” Maggie seemed to come out of nowhere, startling you a bit. “Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good, and you?”

“I’m okay….but this…” Maggie’s eyes were sad and angry, face dark as she looked around. “This…I don’t understand…”

“They’d turned in the infirmary trailers too,” Daryl informed her. “But Y/N’d put down most of them.”

“Yeah? Good job.” Maggie gave you a weak smile. “I’m sorry, so much for your first time. I have to …I don’t know what’s going on… there’s so much to do”

“Y/N!” Before you could say anything, you heard your name and found Siddiq in one of the corridors, holding a man with a bite on his arm. “Y/N! I need your help here now, we have to amputate before it’s too late.”

“Okay!”

You let go of Daryl’s arm, but he held yours when you tried to walk away. “You sure you’re good enough for that?”

“I am, I’m a nurse, remember? Not my first time,” You assured him before rushing to help Siddiq.

*

That wasn’t the only person whose arm or leg Siddiq and you had to amputate, and given your resources, you weren’t sure if most of them would pull through or not. They were now lying on all the beds that could be found in the house, Siddiq and you looking over them.

On top of everything, the captive Saviors had somehow run away, though some of them had stayed behind to help with walkers, but you weren’t sure if they could be trusted…and you couldn’t help but be afraid of them, even though once the walker’s threat subdued, Maggie caged them again.

Everyone who had been injured during the battle had turned, and so it seemed the Saviors had done something to their weapons, infecting them somehow. It was sick and twisted, but it didn’t surprise you, coming from Negan. The only exception seemed to be Tara. She’d been wounded by an arrow that Dwight had shot, but she hadn’t turned yet and she didn’t even had a fever, she was actually feeling good. It seemed she might be out of danger, but everyone was holding her breath around her, just in case.

Daryl had been so enraged knowing Dwight had been there, had shot Tara, that he’d actually almost scared you, reminding you of when he hit Joe to death, and so different as to how he usually was with you. He was so angry he hadn’t killed Dwight and he’d gone back to the Saviors, while Tara seemed to think Dwight was actually still on your side, and that she was alive because he’d shot her a clean arrow. You didn’t know what to think.

You were now sat down on the picnic table, watching the sunrise and watching people starting to dig graves. You’d gone to the medical trailer to sort some of the stuff that you knew you were going to be needing to tend to the injured people, after Jesus told you he’d take your shift to watch over them and to go get some rest. You hadn’t intended on resting, but now that you weren’t in panic nurse mood anymore, you were starting to feel how tired you were, and how scared too.

That had been close.

You had never dealt with walkers like that, never had them so close, and you could still feel them struggling under your grip while you tried to put them down, almost biting you, the teeth of that one gracing you…you had thought that it was your end, and it could very well have been… and you didn’t know if that one who grabbed your ankle would have bit you before you could put her down, if Daryl hadn’t been there…you didn’t know how you had been able to put down the others by yourself…

You had been lucky, you knew it, you had been attacked but you were alive, while others had died or had been bitten, but still you couldn’t help but feel like crying over everything, over all the people who had died, over the Saviors who had run away without you knowing if they knew you were there or not, over how close you’d been to dying… You took a deep breath, trying to calm down, you didn’t want to cry. You’d sit there for ten minutes and then you would go back to work.

“Hey,” Daryl seemed to come out of nowhere, and he sat down next to you. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m okay…better than most…” You shrugged but gave him a weak smile.

“You did well putting down those walkers.”

“I don’t even know how I managed to do it…” You admitted. “But if you hadn’t come, they’d have eaten me.”

“You can’t know it, you were doing good on your own, you put down three or four, didn’t you?” Daryl’s encouraging words helped you feel better about yourself, even maybe a bit proud, but you knew how scared he looked when he found you. He too knew it had been close. “I knew you were alone there, didn’t know if they’d have gotten you already when I was able to go, you got me scared…” He shrugged, looking down, and you wondered if he was blushing. “But you did good.”

“Thanks…for everything.”

Daryl looked at you with a crooked, tiny smile. “Ain’t nothing. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m going to head back to work.”

“Nah, nah, you gotta rest, there’s people looking over the ones who need it, now you gotta rest.”

You bit your lip, you felt like you needed to keep working and helping around, but you were honestly dead on your feet, feeling more tired than ever, and so you nodded. You looked at Daryl through the corner of your eye, trying to overcome your shyness.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” Daryl arched an eyebrow at you, seeming confused.

“Could you…” You knew you were blushing, but you couldn’t stop it. “Could you…maybe…hold me? Just like five minutes…” Daryl seemed taken aback and awkward, and you began to backtrack. “Or no, just…it’s silly, I’m sorry, I’m being silly, forget it, sorry, it’s just…nothing…”

“Stop.”

Daryl cut your ramble and you were about to get up and run away, embarrassed, when you felt his arm moving slowly to wrap around you, tentatively. You looked at him, and he still seemed awkward.

“Don’t. You don’t have to,” you assured him, still shy and embarrassed. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

Daryl ignored you, and though his hold was still gentle, he softly pulled you to him. Slowly, you scooted closer until you could lean against his chest, shyly snuggling to him and half expecting him to pull away, but instead, his other arm wrapped around you too.

“Thanks.” You whispered and Daryl didn’t say anything, but he kept holding you gently, and it felt like you finally could relax on his arms, his warmth comforting and his arms around you making you feel safe no matter walkers, Saviors, pain, and death were always around the corner.

You hadn’t even realized the oppression that you’d been feeling on your chest, preventing you from breathing deep, the way in which your heart had been beating a bit too fast, but all that seemed to ebb away as you rested your cheek on Daryl’s chest and closed your eyes, your breath evening and your heart slowing down as you relaxed, and before you even knew it, you were dozing off. You woke up with a start, startled, about an hour later, looking around confused, Daryl’s arms still loosely around you.

“What…shit, sorry…” You apologized, embarrassed, pulling away.

“It’s okay.” Daryl shrugged, looking away.

“Thanks…” You looked away too. “Actually…it’s kind of the first time I’ve been able to relax and not being scared in like…forever…” You admitted, peeking at Daryl. He didn’t say anything, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lip.

“You should go in there and get some rest.”

“No, I’m good. I’m going to get back to work, there’s so much to do and people to take care of.”

“Alright…just take it easy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some action, finally reader is killing her first walkers! And Daryl and her are being cute, don’t you think? The chapter coming on Thursday is a big one! The final battle!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	15. Chapter 15

Despite having lived for months and months at the Sanctuary, since escaping it and being asked information about it and the Saviors, you had realized you actually knew very little about it all. You felt like that again now, as Maggie asked you if you thought you all could trust Dwight once again, but you didn’t know the man that well.

While Rick had been out hunting the escaped Saviors, Daryl and Rosia had gone looking for Eugine, and Aaron were off to try and convince Oceanside to fight with you, Gregory had come back with information from Dwight about Negan’s next plan. According to that intel, you’d be able to ambush him and the Saviors. If it was true.

You didn’t know what to think. Some didn’t believe that Dwight could be trusted, Daryl was especially vocal on this, while others like Tara thought he was still helping you all, and that was the reason why she was still alive. In the end, Rick and Maggie decided to trust Dwight.

And so now everyone was getting ready to fight, and they’d be leaving soon. The last battle, they said. It was scary. They had to be right, they had to win, or else you didn’t know what would you do. If something happened to your friends…if Negan won…if he lost but your friends got killed anyway…no, you couldn’t think it.

Maggie was hugging Enid, shotgun already strapped to her back and gun in the holster of her thigh. Of course, she was not going to miss what could be the last battle, no matter what, and you didn’t think anyone would dare to play on her the pregnancy card on that one. Once she finished saying goodbye to Enid, she came to hug you too.

“When I’m back, I’ll bring you Negan’s head,” she told you, and though Maggie was a kind, good person, you also knew she was as lethal and dangerous as Daryl could be, and she hated Negan just the same if not more. You knew she meant it.

“Just…just be safe, okay?” You wanted Negan dead, but more than that, you wanted Maggie alive.

She nodded and rushed away, going to talk to Rick. He’d been talking to Daryl too, but when Maggie got there Daryl looked towards you and said something to Rick, patting Rick’s arm before heading to you.

“You know what you have to do, right?” He said when he reached you and you nodded.

“Take the riffle, get into a room with Enid and the kids, lock the window and lock the door.” You recited. “But the information didn’t say anything about Saviors coming here, we should be fine.”

“That info comes for Dwight, I don’t trust it. We’re gonna find then, and we’re gonna kill them today, but that doesn’t mean they ain’t coming.” Daryl warned you again, and you hoped he was wrong, the idea of Saviors, even Negan himself, arriving to Hilltop with most of the fighters gone filled you with dread and fear. You knew Daryl wasn’t happy about it too, but he wanted to end it all that day.

“We’ll be okay here,” you tried to assure him. “You take care too, alright? Be safe.” Daryl nodded in silence. “I mean it, I told Maggie too, if Negan dies but you die too…then…then it’s not worthy.” To that, Daryl maid a scoffing sound as if he didn’t agree, but you kept going, blushing shyly and looking down. “It wouldn’t, not for me, no matter what…” You could feel Daryl looking at you at that, but you were too shy to look up at him. “What I mean is…just…be careful.”

“Okay…” Daryl said quietly. “You too. Gotta go.”

Timidly, you reached out to wrap your arms gently around him, letting out a content sigh when he held you to him too, even if it was brief, and soon he was walking away, joining Maggie and Rick, and everyone who was already leaving the Hilltop.

*

In the end, you ended up not listening to Daryl and Maggie’s advise. Not that you had intended not to, but it just happened.

It started when the people from the watch posts began warning everyone about a big group of Saviors approaching. You weren’t sure if Dwight had sold you all or not, and at that moment, it didn’t matter. The few people who were left at Hilltop and who could fight began to get ready, and you took Gracie while Enid picked up Judith, heading to one of the back rooms at the last floor of the house, which windows faced the back and would hopefully be safer for the kids of Hilltop and the people who couldn’t fight.

“This isn’t right,” Enid said. “We can’t be here doing nothing.”

Before you could say anything, she was leaving the room, rifle in hand, and you rushed to follow her, making sure to take the sniper rifle too.

“Wait! Enid, wait!” You grabbed her arm before she could rush down the stairs. “I let you go down there, something happens to you and Maggie kills me!”

“We have to do something, we can’t just hide!”

“Okay…okay…” You bit your lip, considering it. Part of you felt Enid was right, but you knew that if you went out there, you’d be dead. Enid was better at shooting and fighting than you,but still you couldn’t just let the teen go out there alone. “Come, we shoot them from above.”

Enid and you went to one of the big rooms on top of the house, with windows that faced the front, and each of you got situated in one of the windows. Looking through the scope, you saw the Saviors approaching. They were…they were quite a lot. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea. You tried not to be scared, not to let anxiety overcome you, and you looked for Negan or Dwight, but neither of them seemed to be there, not yet at least.

The people on the watch posts began shooting, and Enid too, and so you kicked yourself into action. It wasn’t as easy at it seemed, centering someone on the scope and then landing the shot, but you managed some, trying not to think too much about being killing people.

Saviors were falling, but they were a lot, and you were starting to fear they were too many for you all to hold back, when suddenly there were a couple of explosions outside, followed by gunfire, and through the scope you saw a big group of women coming out of nowhere, Aaron with them, shooting until all the Saviors were dead or surrendering.

“They’re from Oceanside!” Enid exclaimed. “Aaron managed to convince them to come!”

“Great timing.” You lowered your riffle, watching through the window how the Saviors were guided into the cage.

“Maggie and the others…you think they’re okay?” Enid asked you, and you tried not to show you were as worried as her, knowing that this had been a setup.

“Saviors were coming for Hilltop, so the others out there should be okay…” You couldn’t really believe your words, though, you knew there were more Saviors than the group that had gone there, and Negan wasn’t among them…if this had been a trap, maybe your friends were in danger…

Enid, Aaron, and you had to worry for a while, but then you heard the sound of vehicles approaching and driving into Alexandria. Your people began getting out of them, announcing they had won, taking more Saviors out of a truck and into the cages.

You looked around, heart beating fast, until you found Maggie and Daryl, further away, along with Michonne…they were alive, they were safe! Was this true? Had they really won? Were Negan and the Saviors really gone?

Before you had time to actually process it, you saw Rick, Jesus, and Siddiq jumping out of a car, holding between them the body of Negan. You stared at them, eyes and mouth open in shock. Was he…he looked dead, his body covered in blood and limp. It might be cruel, but a big grin spread across your face.

Negan was gone. Negan was dead. Finally.

Or so you thought.

“Y/N!” Siddiq called for you when he spotted you, and you realized they were dragging Negan to the medical trailer. “Y/N, I need your help with him!” What? What was going on? You didn’t understand. “I stopped the bleeding best I could, but we have to stabilize him or he’ll die!” He urged you before getting inside the trailer.

Negan was alive. They were saving his life. You didn’t understand why. And they were asking you to help. What was going on on.

“Come on, he’s badly hurt,” Rick urged you from the trailer’s door.

“What…what?” You blinked at him, dumbfounded, before anger started rising inside you. “You’re trying to save him? You were going to kill him! He has to die!”

“He doesn’t have to, it’s not necessary, we won,” Rick tried to calm you down, but he didn’t make sense to you. “This is the right thing, the good thing to do, we’re better than them.”

“You are seriously asking me to help save him?!” You spat, you couldn’t believe this. “If I’m stepping inside that trailer is to actually finish him myself!” You grabbed the knife that you had attached to your hip, glaring at the door, but Rick didn’t move.

“I can’t let you do that,” Rick’s eyes were sad and gentle, but you didn’t care, he didn’t understand, you couldn’t let Negan live, you couldn’t. “I’m not killing him. I’m taking him to Alexandria, throw him in a cell. It’s over.”

You scoffed at that, tears of rage and frustration rolling down your cheeks, and you couldn’t help but flinch, startled, when a hand held your arm softly, lowering your knife, but you saw it was Daryl, him and Michonne having caught up to you. You were glad Daryl was safe, of course you were, but at that moment you had only Negan in your mind. Still, when Daryl wrapped his arms around you, you didn’t resist, letting him hug you to him as you cried.

“It’s not fair. You know what he did to us. To my people. To your people. He should be dead. It’s not fair.” Yet the monster was alive when so many good people had been tortured and had died under his hand. Daryl tried to shush you softly, but you couldn’t stop, didn’t want to. “He’s going to break free sooner or later, do it all again, kill us, kill your people.” He’d kill your friends and their communities, he’d kill you and take the baby.

“He won’t escape, I promise you, he won’t. He won’t hurt anyone ever again.” Michonne assured you.

“He’ll pay, but not with his life. He’ll be captive all his life, knowing all he did, all he lost.” Rick added, but you shook your head. They didn’t understand.

“Did he called you his wife and made you sleep with him until he got you pregnant? Are you carrying the spawn of an evil, bastard of a man who killed your people?!” You spat, coming out as a whimper. “He should be dead. He kills people, he threatens them, he tortures them…he should be dead.”

Michonne and Rick didn’t say anything else, just looked at you with sad eyes, but they went inside the trailer, and you knew they were going to save him.

“It’s not fair…” You whimpered, crying onto Daryl’s chest as he held you to him. “He should be dead.”

“I know,” he murmured.

“Then?” You looked up at him, but Daryl didn’t say anything, just looked at you sadly, letting out a sigh. Slowly, he began to walk you away from the medical trailer, arm firmly around your shoulders.

Before you could reach your trailer, though, Jesus approached you. "Y/N… I know it might be too much to ask, but there are some Saviors that need a doctor or a nurse to check on them.“

"She ain’t getting near them!” Daryl snapped before you could say anything.

“They won’t hurt her, I’ll make sure, and they surrendered…”

“I’ll do it.” You let out a sigh. You were a nurse, you were supposed to help people. But Negan… That was too much. Not like you wanted to help Saviors, but you didn’t want to argue about it, and some of them had turned out good, staying at Hilltop to help.

“Thanks.”

Both Jesus and Daryl stayed with you while you checked on the Saviors and helped the ones that needed it. Most of them had severe wounds on their hands, and Jesus explained to you how Eugine had manipulated the bullets he made, making them explode on the Savior’s guns, helping you win. The intel Dwight had given you was wrong, but he’d been manipulated by Negan, who knew he was a traitor. So in the end, Dwight has tried to help. You didn’t know what to think about it.

A group of volunteers from Hilltop and Alexandria had been sent to the Sanctuary to give the word about Negan and the Saviors defeat, and to help the workers reorganize everything in there.

As soon as they had everything ready, the rest of the Alexandrians went back to their home before it got dark outside, bringing an unconscious but alive Negan with them. You watched from afar how Maggie, Rick, Michonne and Daryl talked, or rather argued, though you couldn’t make the words.

At some point, Maggie walked away from them and made her way to you. Daryl walked with Michonne and Rick as they made their way to the vehicles, and even though Daryl had said to Jesus that he’d stay in Hilltop, you couldn’t help but feel the sudden worry of him taking his bike and following Rick without a goodbye… You were pretty sure it’d break your heart, you didn’t know when it had started to beat faster for Daryl, but there was nothing you could do about it, no way to stop it now…

“This isn’t right.” Maggie’s voice took you out of your thoughts.“We should kill him. We ought to.”

“I know…”

“Rick isn’t right but he won’t listen.” She looked as upset as you had ever seen her “I mean… I love him, okay, and I respect him. But he shouldn’t be making this decision all by himself, taking it away from us… It’s not right.”

You didn’t know what to say, you thought right like Maggie, but it didn’t seem there was much you could do, and so you just reached out to squeeze her hand and she gave you a small smile.

“I’m going to the office, there are some things I have to get ready. You sure you still don’t want a room inside? I can arrange you something.”

“No, I’m good in the trailer.” It kind of felt like your own little home, something you hadn’t felt in so, so long.

“Okay, just… it might get a bit small at some point…” Maggie’s eyes went to your belly and you didn’t know what to say. “Just… Negan’s alive, but he’ s never coming back near you, I promise you that. We’ll make sure, me, Daryl, Jesus, all of us. If he ever steps out of that cell, it’s because he’s dead.”

You teared up at that, feeling beyond grateful for these new friends you had found, who helped you deal with your worse fears and made everything better, who took care of you.

“Thanks.”

Maggie gave you a sad smile, reaching out to hug you, before she made her way to the house.

You watched how Rick and Michonne got into a car and drove away. As he’d said, Daryl watched them go but didn’t follow, turning around and walking to you.

“You okay?” He asked you and you nodded, you didn’t want him to worry, he had enough in his head.

“Better. You?” You knew he was upset too, this wasn’t being easy for him. You knew the reason why he wasn’t going back to Alexandria, not with Negan there. Daryl nodded, but he didn’t say anything. “I… well, I know it’s bad that you feel like you can’t go back home, it sucks, and I’m sorry… but… I…I like that you stay here…”

You bit your lip, wondering if you were being too honest and hoping Daryl didn’t take it wrong. It didn’t seem so, he gave you a weak, half-smile.

“Rick and Michonne, they are family. But so is Maggie. This place ain’t bad. And I like being here and with you too.” Daryl said, looking down and making your heart beat fast. “I gotta go talk to Maggie.” Eyes still on the ground, Daryl reached out to pat your arm softly, and he went to the house.

Later that day, you were inside of your trailer, sat down on the sofa, reading one of the medical books you had found at the medical trailer. You were a nurse, not a doctor, sure, but you wanted to learn the most you could. Besides, you wanted to distract your mind from everything that had happened, from Negan alive somewhere, from the ex-Saviors that were caged outside…you were grateful and beyond happy the Saviors didn’t exist anymore, but you still needed to process it all. The door of the trailer was half-open, and you heard a knock on it. It was Daryl, looking at you from outside.

“Hey, come in.”

“Maggie says dinner’s ready.”

“Okay.” You placed your book aside and got up to join them.

Daryl had taken a couple of steps inside the trailer, but he wasn’t moving further in or turning to leave either, and neither was he looking at you, eyes on the floor.

“I was thinking…” he began quietly, chewing on the skin of his thumbnail. In the weeks you had known him, you had begun to learn it was something he did when he was feeling nervous or insecure, and you wondered what might he be thinking. “I was thinking, since I’m back at staying at Hilltop, maybe…if you don’t mind, maybe I could go back to staying in this trailer…” It was silly, you knew, he’d already shared your trailer when you both arrived at Hilltop, but still as he said that, an image of him joining you in bed and holding you came to your mind out of nowhere, making you blush and look down shyly. “Or…not, sorry, that’s stupid, this’s your trailer, there’s plenty of space somewhere else…” Daryl began to backtrack, turning to leave, and you forced yourself to speak.

“No, no wait!” You called after him and Daryl stopped, turning his head towards you but without looking at you. “I’d really like it if you stayed here with me…” You admitted, shrugging shyly. “I’d like it better than being alone. I feel…I’d feel like I’m safer with you here.”

Daryl sneaked a look at you at that and you almost missed the way in which the corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. “Okay,” was all he said.

“Dwight…is him with the Saviors that Maggie has here or…or have you…” You knew the hatred Daryl had towards the man, and all the time he’d been saying he’d kill him, and you suddenly remembered you hadn’t seen the man around.

“I drove him away from here, told him to leave and find Sherry, never come back.”

“That’s…that’s good…I hope Sherry is okay…” Not knowing where or where she was felt like a stab in your heart. “We both owe her.”

“Yeah…” Daryl nodded, face dark, before he gave you a small smile. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, we reached this point! Negan’s defeated but alive and reader is pissed! And she and Daryl are roomates! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	16. Chapter 16

That night, you fell asleep easily than you had ever before, knowing that Daryl was there, sleeping on the sofa. You felt bad he was sleeping on a sofa instead of a bed, but when you had told him he’d just scoffed, telling you it was good enough. He did seem to want to sleep in your trailer instead of anywhere else, and it made you feel all kind of warm and fuzzy feelings.

However, as you slept, your fears seemed to come back to you, creeping into your subconscious. Negan was there in your dreams, having you locked inside a dark cell. You had a baby in your arms, Negan’s baby, and Negan tore him away from you. You saw Negan, killing people with that bat in front of you while holding his baby,killing your new friends, Daryl, and then he turned to you…

You woke up, gasping for air…Negan…he was alive, he could escape, he could come… You sat up on the bed, your eyes finding Daryl’s sleeping form on the sofa, curled onto himself. It helped you calm down a bit, though your heart was still beating fast. You wished you could go and curl up next to him… Part of you wanted to wake him up, but you knew it was silly, it’d been just a nightmare and he needed his sleep.

You thought there wasn’t much time left until the sunrise, but you didn’t think you could go back to sleep, and so you leaned back against the wall, hugging your knees to your chest, lost in thought. The sun was barely rising when Daryl stirred awake, his eyes landing on you as he blinked them awake, and then he frowned, sitting up.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…just a nightmare.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Daryl asked, sounding as if he wasn’t too sure it was the best thing to do.

“Just….just Negan…the baby…” You shrugged.

“He ain’t gonna hurt you or the baby nomore.” Daryl assured you, sounding so sure of it, it made you feel like nothing bad would ever happen to you.

“I know…” You gave him a weak smile. “But it’s…it’s not only that…”

“What else?”

“I…” You let out a sigh, trying to order your thoughts and hugging your knees to your chest more tightly, part of you wishing it was Daryl. “I want this baby, I do…and I’m sure that I love them even though I don’t know them yet…” You blinked, swallowing the lump in your throat. “But…but you know they’re Negan’s…what if…what if they’re like him? They’re his kid…could…they could grow up to be like him maybe…I don’t know…”

“Nah…nah, that ain’t like that. They’re yours too.” You remembered Daryl had told you something like that when he helped you in the Sanctuary too. “And anyway kids don’t have to grow up to be like their parents.”

“I hope…” You were grateful for his words, but still, your maybe silly fears were there and you couldn’t help it.

“You remember Judith?” Daryl asked you and you nodded, she and Gracie had been gone for less than a day and you already missed them. “She ain’t Rick’s…I mean, she’s, but she ain’t blood. His dad was someone from our group, long ago…a real ass. Tried to kill Rick. But Judith ain’t like him. Your kid won’t be like Negan either.”

You were shocked by what Daryl had told you. You’d have never imagined the biological father of such a sweet, lovely little girl, could be the kind of man that Daryl was telling you.

“Thanks…thank you, Daryl.” You smiled and Daryl shrugged, giving you half a smile. You decided it was time to get up and be useful. “Do you want to have breakfast with me?”

“Yeah, yeah thanks.”

*

That day was a come and gone of people. Rick and Maggie agreed on sending the captive Saviors that had surrendered back to the Sanctuary, where they’d have to work to make something good out of it, and volunteers from Hilltop, Alexandria and The Kingdom would make sure of that. The three settlements also agreed on taking in any of the workers that Negan had kept in the Sanctuary, if they wished to leave it.

And so for a couple of days, you found yourself recognizing some faces as they arrived, people who you had helped as a nurse, most times without Negan knowing it, trading sweets or liquor with the Saviors in exchange of their silence. The happiest day was when two of Negan’s wives, with whom you had shared months and months of your life, arrived, one of them with her partner who now she was finally allowed to see again.

“She used to cry so much during the first weeks, she was there because her partner was very sick and needed medicines.” You were talking to Daryl about one of the arrived ex-wives that evening, sat down cross-legged on your bed while Daryl was sat down on the sofa next to it. “She was terrified of Negan whenever he called her. He’d tell her sweet words and whatnot, Negan was always boasting about how good he treated his wives, but she was just so scared…”

“Did he?” Daryl interrupted you. “Treat you right?”

“Well…he didn’t beat us or hurt us like that, if that’s what you mean.” You shrugged, you felt like slowly you were starting to being able to talk about Negan and your time at the Sanctuary without feeling like you couldn’t breathe. “But told you, no one of us was there because we wanted to, and no one of us slept with him because we wanted to…so…”

Daryl just hummed, shifting to lie down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. You lied down too, snuggling your pillow and looking at him. He’d kept staying in your trailer, so whenever you woke up during the night or before him, he was there on the sofa, and you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking how cute he looked curled up as he slept, or from having the urge to lie down next to him and wrap your arms around him.

You knew you had feelings for Daryl that were beyond friendly. When you saw him, butterflies would twirl in your belly and your heart would beat faster, just thinking about him brought a smile to your face, and when he smiled to you, it felt as if your heart skipped a beat. He was a kind man with a good heart, loyal to his friends, who’d do anything to take care of them and protect them, and it seemed he’d do it for you too, which made you feel all warm.

You’d wanted to help him since that day you saw him hurt at the Sanctuary, but everyday, the urge to protect him and take care of him just grew more and more, as it did your feelings for him. He was busy all day, working around Hilltop, fixing things or going out hunting, and yet he always found time to check on you, make sure you were okay. At evening, sometimes he joined Maggie, you and the others for dinner, sometimes he didn’t, but he always spent a while talking to you inside your trailer before sleep.

You liked to share your mind, your worries, and your ideas with him, happy when he did it too, but what you liked the most was when he’d tell you stories about his life before, either things that he’d lived with his group since the apocalypse started, or things from before the walkers roamed the word, though he didn’t talk much about that. You always found yourself captivated by his words, eager to learn more about him, and just caught up in whatever story he was telling you.

Most nights either him or you would wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, and if the other was awake, you’d talk quietly about it in the darkness. It made you calm down and feel better, but you couldn’t help yourself from wishing Daryl would join you in bed, holding you close after you had a nightmare, or the urge to hold him whenever he had one.

You never had the courage to voice your feelings, though. You knew, by the way in which he was with you, that Daryl cared about you. He liked to spend time with you, and he took care of you, but that didn’t mean his feelings were beyond friendship, and it could just be his own nature, that drove him to help people, protect them and take care of them. That was the way Daryl was, which just made you like him more.

You weren’t sure if maybe, if the context where different, you’d have been able to push past your shyness and confess your feelings for Daryl, but at that moment, you didn’t feel like you could. You were afraid of his rejection, and also you didn’t feel it’d be fair to drop that on him. You knew you had baggage.

You were pregnant, to begin with, so having something with you would be a whole package, a baby that wasn’t his included. You were sure that was something most men didn’t look forward to, if not all. Sure, Daryl wasn’t like many men, and sure you knew he’d take care of the baby too, whether it was as a friend or something more, but you wondered if asking for something more, if you ever dared to, would be fair.

It wasn’t just that you were pregnant, you were pregnant of the man who had murdered Daryl’s friends, tormented his people, and tortured him. It was enough that Daryl had become your friend, that he cared for you like he did, no matter you were carrying that man’s baby, how could you ask for more? He’d never said anything about the baby that wasn’t good, he’d actually told you several times that they wouldn’t be like Negan no matter what…but you still felt like it wasn’t fair.

And so you said nothing, and just enjoyed Daryl’s company, his friendship as it was.

Little more than a week had passed since that day the Saviors and Negan had been defeated, which was still hard to believe for you. The first rays of sunshine were filtering into the trailer, barely illuminating it. You had been asleep but you woke up when you felt your bed moving.

You opened your eyes and in the almost darkness you found Daryl getting ready. He always woke up early but took good care of never waking you. That morning, it seemed he had bumped your bed without meaning to.

“Sorry,” he apologized in a whisper. “Go back to sleep.”

“Wait,” you sat up, rubbing the sleep of your eyes. “Are you going out to hunt? Can I go with you today since I’m awake?”

You felt like you had been inside walls for so long, first at The Sanctuary now at the Hilltop. You had never felt like going outside, scared of the monsters, both walkers and humans, but going with Daryl made you feel as if nothing bad would happen.

“No, it’s dangerous.” Daryl’s answer was firm and it didn’t surprise you.

“I’ll be by your side all the time.” You didn’t intend on leaving his side. “So I’ll be okay. I can’t remember the last time I went outside walls.”

For a few seconds, Daryl didn’t say anything. “Alright…get ready. I’ll wait for you outside. Don’t forget the knife.”

You changed clothes quickly, throwing a shirt over your tank top in case weather wasn’t good, and strapped the knife to the holster of your thigh. You didn’t go anywhere without it, no matter you were behind walls. You walked outside to join Daryl, bag and crossbow strapped to his back and knife secured to his belt.

“Here.” He reached out to pass you an apple, breakfast for the day. “Got water in the bag, if you want to.”

“Thanks.” You grinned at him. “Come in, we can walk while I eat, I’ll follow you.”

“Stay by my side, alright…” Daryl was still eyeing you as if he weren’t very sure this was a good idea, and you were afraid he might just change his mind, so you nodded quick, and he let out a sigh but began walking, and so you both walked out of Hilltop.

For a while, you both walked through the path outside Hilltop, until at some point Daryl decided to get into the woods. He looked around as he walked and you wondered if he was trying to track something, so you followed close but as silent as you could, so as not to scare the game and to not distract him.

“Are you tired?” Daryl’s eyes landed on you after a while.

“No, I’m good.” You assured him, you hadn’t been walking for even an hour. “This is beautiful.” You hadn’t really been in the woods like that before, and you were enjoying it. The silence around, except for the occasional bird, the smells, the landscape with the flowers and the trees… Daryl nodded, giving you a half-smile.

After a while of following Daryl through the woods, with him periodically checking on you to make sure you were okay and weren’t tired, which was sweet but at the same time made you feel a bit weak, though you knew he didn’t mean bad, Daryl had caught a couple of squirrels, but it seemed it wasn’t enough for him to go back. You weren’t going to complain, you were enjoying the little trip.

Daryl had been silent for the most part, and at some point you noticed him grinning as he looked at the ground, before looking at you. “Deer.” You weren’t sure if you were on board with the idea of hunting Bambi, but you knew a deer would feed the Hilltop for days, and so you didn’t say anything and hardened your heart. You also liked to see Daryl smile.

His smile was gone soon, though, frown on his face, when you both began to notice blood on the ground, and then you found the big buck, dead on the ground. His antlers were bloodied as if he’d died fighting, but at the end, he’d lost, and he’d been thoroughly chewed on. You felt your stomach turn at the sight and you tried to fight a wave of nausea.

“We have to leave, now.” Daryl squeezed your arm to caught your attention and you tried to look at him instead of at the dead buck. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” You nodded, taking a deep breath, you didn’t want to worry Daryl more and you didn’t want to throw up.

Daryl didn’t say anything else but he nodded back, placing a hand on the small of your back softly and giving you a gentle push so you’d walk with him. You knew he was worried that whatever had killed that buck might still be around, and you were scared of it too, but Daryl’s hand made you feel reassured, you knew he’d make sure you were okay.

You hadn’t been walking for long when you heard those growls you’d recognize anywhere, and Daryl tugged at so you both would hide behind some trees. There were only three walkers, though, and one of them seemed in a pretty rough condition, crawling instead of walking, all bloodied and disbowelled, and you wondered if the buck had done that.

Daryl aimed his crossbow and shoot, putting down one of them. The other two turned their heads towards the commotion, but they were slow, and so Daryl put down another one, leaving only the one who crawled.

“Do you want to put it down yourself?” He asked you, surprising you.

“Really?” Daryl was always making sure you were safe so you were taken aback, but you guessed the walker didn’t look too dangerous and maybe Daryl wanted you not to forget how to do it, if you ever needed to put down one again.

“You don’t have to, I’ll do it.” Daryl grabbed his knife and went to the walker, and you rushed behind him.

“No, wait, I want to.” You took your knife and approached the walker, Daryl as close to you as your shadow, knife ready.

“Don’t get to close or it’ll grab you.” He instructed. “Okay, hold its head so it won’t bite and you can stab it.”

You reached out to hold the walker’s hair, mindful of his claws reaching for you. Daryl’s hand hovered next to yours and you smirked. So much for letting you do it yourself. But you felt more confident knowing he’d grab the walker before it could bite you if you did something wrong. You held the walkers head in place and sank the knife into his skull.

“Careful so the knife doesn’t get stuck,“ Daryl warned you, nodding when you retrieved it without a problem. "Well done.”

“Thanks.” You grinned at him.

“Let’s head back.” Daryl gave you a half-smile, reaching to squeeze your shoulder and guiding you to walk with him.

By the time you arrived at the Hilltop, Daryl had also managed to hunt a rabbit, hanging from his belt along with the squirrels. You had taken off your sweater, the day warmer than you had expected it, and you had it tied to your waist. It tightened your tank top over your belly, and you realized once more how the still small bump was visible for everyone by now, not only for you or for Daryl, who seemed to notice everything around him. You still didn’t know how you felt about it, but most times it brought a smile to your face instead of tears to your eyes. You guessed it was an improvement.

As you walked through the door, you spotted more known faces from the Sanctuary.

“That’s another wife, Nadia!” You grinned at Daryl, pointing at the woman.

“Go talk to her, I’ll go clean this and get it ready.

"Okay!”

“You did good today.” Daryl gave you a soft smile and your heart skipped a bit.

“Thank you. I really liked it, going out to the woods with you.” You smiled shyly.

“I liked it too.” Daryl nodded, looking down. “Go talk to your friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…they’re getting closer, and Y/N has a crush on him! But what about Daryl? Well…next chapter is going to be fluffy, I’m looking forwards to it.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	17. Chapter 17

You rushed towards Nadia, who had become a wife shortly after you, after she suffered an accident that sent her to bed for two months, as a payment for the medicines the doctor had to use on her. The woman grinned at you when she saw you, and you hugged each other.

“I can’t believe you actually ran away, you crazy! They told us you died along with Sherry.”

“These people helped me.” You waved around.

“And now it seems they helped us all… I can’t believe they defeated Negan and his Saviors…”

“I know…” Most mornings you still woke up in disbelieve.

“You are…well…” Nadia eyes were on your belly “You do look pregnant now.”

“Yeah, I know…” You tugged at the shirt, feeling a bit selfconscious.

“I…I don’t know how you can do this. I mean…it’s his…it’s Negan’s…” Nadia’s eyes were fixed on your belly. “That’s…well, that’s his baby…” She shuddered, and though you knew she didn’t really mean anything bad, you had felt like that for a long while, you felt like crying anyway. You noticed Nadia’s eyes were wet too, and you guessed she was thinking about her time at the Sanctuary.

“Well, I know but…but…It’s mine too.” You repeated what Daryl had told you a couple of times before, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “Doesn’t matter who’s his father, it doesn’t mean they have to take after him.”

“Yeah…yeah, it is yours…” Nadia looked up to you, trying to smile but not really managing. “I bet…I bet they’ll be just like you…” She didn’t sound very sure, and you knew she was imagining another Negan, just like you had done before during the first months.

“Come on, I’ll help you get settled…” You said, eager to take the conversation somewhere else.

For the rest of the day, you worked doing some check-ups on people who needed it and studied a bit, though your mind would wander off the books and to Nadia’s words, until it was time for dinner and you joined Maggie and the others in a big table outside, enjoying the outdoors before the weather got too bad for it.

As you dined, your eyes drifted to Maggie. She was starting to show too, though her bump was barely there, and not at all visible unless she was wearing a tight tank top. You noticed because you knew she was pregnant. It did nothing but bring you back Naida’s words yet again. You thought you were over that by now, yet just a couple of words had been enough to bring everything back.

You noticed Daryl’s eyes on you, as if wondering if something was off with you. He arched an eyebrow at you and you shrugged, trying to give him a smile, not wanting him to think you weren’t feeling good. After dinner, you excused yourself and went to your trailer. You weren’t alone in there for long, sat down cross-legged on the bed with your back against the wall, soon Daryl was walking in too.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…” You let out a sigh, shrugging. “Sit with me?” You patted the space on the bed next to you, and Daryl seemed reluctant but finally, he did, looking at you as if waiting for you to keep going. “It’s just…when Nadia looks at my belly all she sees is Negan…cos you know…Negan’s baby’s here…” You pocked your small bump. “Probably that’s all that everyone who lived at the Sanctuary sees.”

“That’s what you see too?”

“I…” You let out a long sigh. “I used to. Not so much anymore.” Your talks with Daryl’d helped you feel better about it. “But I know she sees another Negan…that the baby could grow up to be like him. And I know it doesn’t have to be like that, you told me, and you told me about Judith…that kids don’t have to be like their parents…but they always said kids take after their parents…and I’m the mother, but their father’s Negan…so what if…I don’t know…”

“Nah, stop that.” Daryl shook his head. “I used to believe that too, that kids took after their parents, but now I think it’s bullshit that parents said to make themselves feel important, but kids…they’re their own people, they’re themselves, not their parents.” Daryl talked with such confidence sometimes, though not always, and when he did you couldn’t help but trust what he said. “And anyway… Negan ain’t getting near your kid, ever. You’re the one who’s gonna raise them up. So if something, they’ll take after you.”

You smiled, blinking as you felt tears in your eyes, though not of sadness. “Thanks…thank you, Daryl. You always make me feel better.”

Daryl just shrugged, smiling softly and looking down as if shy. “My father…” He began after a little bit of silence. “I never wanted to be like him…and I don’t think I am. So yeah…kids…they don’t have to grow up to be like their parents.”

You nodded, thoughtful, but also eager to know more, it was the first time Daryl talked about his family with you, besides a couple of mentions of his brother, whom you knew Daryl missed, complicated relationship or not.

“How was him?” You asked softly, hoping Daryl wouldn’t mind. He was silent for a moment, eyes down and lost in thought as he pulled at his fingers.

“He was a bastard. A mean drunk. Took it out on my mom and my brother, and on me. Then only on me, when there wasn’t anyone left.”

You looked at Daryl, whose eyes were still cast down. You felt like crying. By what he’d been saying, you expected his father to had been an asshole, maybe there’d been a big fight between them or something…but you hadn’t expected he’d have abused Daryl. It hurt your heart. He wasn’t saying anything else, fidgeting, and you reached out to take one of his hands. He seemed startled, his hand flitching, but then he let you hold his hand in yours, your thumb caressing his knuckles.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You whispered. “But you’re right, you aren’t like him. So kids don’t have to be like their parents.”

Daryl gave you a small smile and a nod, silent now, and you kept gently caressing his hand, wishing to hold him to you tight but not really daring too, not sure about how he’d react.

“And your mother? How was she?” You dared to ask.

“I don’t know…not really.” Daryl shrugged. “She died when I was little. Can’t even remember her face anymore.”

You felt something in your heart broke at that. “I’m sorry…” Daryl nodded, sad eyes cast down, and you didn’t know what else to tell him, but you couldn’t help but timidly reach out to wrap your arms around him. Daryl allowed you to do so, the corner of his mouth lifting into a tiny smile as you did, and he leaned into your briefly before pulling back.

“She never hit me or nothing…but most times it was like she wasn’t really there.” You were surprised he was still talking to you about his family, but you listened eagerly, cherishing every chance to know more about him.

“She drank too much and she smoked too much. And one day she passed out on the bed, smoke on hand, the bed burned to ashes and so did her.”

Your heart broke even more, to the point you felt tears in your eyes and you reached out for his hand again, squeezing it.

“I can’t remember how she looked, barely how she was…but the smell of alcohol and smoke that was always with her, I can almost taste it…”

You could feel Daryl’s pain almost as your own, his heartbreak, and you hated that his childhood had been like that, full of sorrow…he deserved so much more.

"Come here.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around him again, holding him close as Daryl snuggled to you, hiding his face on the crook of your shoulder. You hadn’t expected him to do so, and you hoped you could give him any sort of comfort.

He surprised you once again when you felt him press a soft kiss to your shoulder, over your shirt. You didn’t remember him ever doing something like that. It made you feel all kind of things, your heart speeding up and butterflies twirling inside your belly. It wasn’t the moment, and you tried to ignore it.

Yet, when he pulled away, peeking at you shyly with your arms still around him, you barely could stop yourself from leaning in and kiss him. You even wondered if he’d mind it…the way in which he was with you, the way in which he looked at you sometimes…but it wasn’t that easy, you knew, and so you didn’t. Instead, you kissed his forehead before he pulled away.

“Thanks.” He whispered, a soft smile on his face that you loved. You didn’t say anything, didn’t know what, and so you just smiled. It seemed Daryl didn’t know what to say either, looking shy. “Get some rest.”

Daryl squeezed your shoulder gently, getting up and going to his sofa, and you found yourself missing his closeness already, no matter he was right there. You wished you both could just hold each other through the night, you even wondered if Daryl maybe wouldn’t mind it either, but you knew it’d embarrass him if you asked, and maybe he wouldn’t be up to such thing. And so you just daydreamed, getting into your bed while Daryl curled up in the sofa. You had already turned off the light when he spoke again.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah”

“How was your family?”

You were surprised he asked, and though it hurt to think about your lost family, you also liked the idea of sharing it with Daryl.

“They were good parents. Good people. They both had me when they were almost in their fifties already, they hadn’t come around to having kids before, but they always did the best to make me happy.” They had been a stark contrast to what Daryl had told you about them, and you teared up a bit at the thought of them. “They gave me an education, a good one, so I’d become a good nurse with a good job. They supported me and they loved me…and they’re gone…”

“I’m sorry…” Daryl whispered.

“Yeah, well….” You sniffed. “They didn’t get to see the mess world in which now we live…I try to find comfort in that. Their friends were always saying I was a copycat of my father, physically and everything else, mom’d say it too…” You placed a hand on top of your belly. “Wouldn’t mind if the kid were like him.” Daryl just hummed at that. “But I liked what you said, that kids are their own people. They are, and that’s good…and I didn’t know your father, but I know you aren’t like him. You’re the best man I know, Daryl.” You heard him scoffing, but you wanted him to know, feeling braver in the darkness where he couldn’t see you. “You are. Kind and loyal, and brave.” You bit your lip, stopping yourself from saying how you wished your kid would grow up to be like that, like him too.

“Y/N, get some sleep…”

“Okay…” You snuggled to your pillow, knowing better than to press Daryl more, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. “Goodnight.”

“Night…” Daryl stayed silent for a few minutes, and when he spoke again you were almost asleep. “The kid’d be fine. They got you as their mother. They’ll be good.”

A smile spread across your face at that, snuggling your pillow more tightly as something fluttered inside your belly at Daryl’s words.

*

Life kept going, and since nothing bad came to your way, you started to relax more into your new life. You tried to ignore the fact that Negan was alive, focusing only on him being out of your life forever and on the Saviors being defeated. You kept going with your routine, checking on the people who needed it, studying, training, talking with Maggie, sharing pieces of your life with Daryl…life was good, better than you could have ever imagined, when not so long ago you’d been so miserable.

That was why one evening, a week after the day Daryl’d taken you out with him to the woods, when you noticed Daryl pacing around as if angry or worried, you couldn’t help but be scared thinking that something bad had happened. You hadn’t seen him like that any other day.

It took you by surprise, the day had been good. Rick and Michonne had come to visit, and you knew that even though they parted ways in a disagreement about Negan, Daryl was happy to see his friends. They had brought Judith with them, and the little girl brought such a lovely smile to Daryl’s face that you couldn’t help the way in which your heart fluttered at it. You had spent some time playing with the little girl, everyone had talked and caught up with each other, the day had been good. Last time you saw them, they were still talking, and you didn’t know what could have gone wrong.

Daryl’s anger made you anxious, you couldn’t help it, you knew he had a temper, but you also knew he wouldn’t direct it to you, and so you walked to him, rushing when you noticed him heading to his bike, afraid he might ride away and you wouldn’t know what was wrong, besides, you didn’t want him to go out alone when the sun was going down.

“Daryl!” His eyes found you when you called his name, and for a moment you thought Daryl was just going to keep going and take his bike, but then he seemed to think it better, walking to you. “What’s wrong?” You asked, a bit short of breathe, when you reached him.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking down before looking back at you, and you wondered if he’d been about to tell you any excuse, but he seemed to think it better. “Rick ain’t here to visit, he came to talk about the Sanctuary.”

A sense of dread came to you at his words combined with the look on his face, anxiety threatening to overwhelm you at the idea of Negan having managed to go back to the place, or maybe the Saviours had taken over it again, or anything like that. “What happened? Negan…the Saviors…what…”

“No, nothing like that,” Daryl rushed to reassure you as if realizing what you were thinking. “Ain’t nothing like that.”

“Okay…” You nodded, trying to even your breath and calm down. “Then?”

“Tara wants to come back to the Hilltop, live here,” Daryl began to explain, and it was easy to understand why no one would want to live in that horrible place. “Rosita and Eugine had agreed to stay there and help around but…dunno, Rick said the place’s still pretty much a mess. Saviors are under control, but some of them are giving trouble…Rick ain’t sure the place ain’t gonna just fall down one day.”

“Let it fall,” You almost growled, you’d be happy to see it gone. “Why’re we helping them anyway? After everything? If they can’t work together then just let them go to hell.”

“Yeah, well…Rick wants the Sanctuary standing, part of his plan for the future or whatever.” Daryl scoffed and you knew he agreed with you, not with Rick.

“Well, then that’s their business, not ours. No reason to be upset about it.” You reached out to take Daryl’s hand as you tried to make him feel better, though you were a bit confused as for why he seemed so angry and upset about all that. Maybe it had cost him another disagreement or fight with Rick, and you knew he took those fights to heart.

“Ain’t that…”

“Then?”

“Rick wants me to go to the Sanctuary, see if I can help keep the place in order…” Daryl shook his head, scoffing again, and you could see how upset he was about the whole thing. It was normal, you knew he wanted to go back to that place as little as you, after what had been done to him there…it’d bring the memories back…couldn’t Rick ask someone else? The idea of Daryl leaving Hilltop and leaving you made you feel a lump in your throat, and you could only wish it wouldn’t be for long.

“For how long? Few days?”

“No, it ain’t like that. Rick wants me to move there, lead the place.”

“What?” You stared at Daryl, shocked. Moving to the Sanctuary? How could Rick ask such a thing from Daryl, knowing everything he’d endured in that place, the trauma he’d suffered from it all, and that he still did. He still woke up from nightmares sometimes. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair.

“Told him I ain’t a leader but he won’t listen…” Daryl shrugged, looking down.

“Do you want to go?” You asked and Daryl shook his head. “Then don’t. Rick can’t force you.”

“He needs someone leading there…”

“Someone else can do it.”

“Told him that, but he wants it to be me…”

“Well, it’s not fair!”

“Rick doesn’t see it like that…we argued about it…but…” Daryl shrugged again. “I’m tired of fighting…” He did sound tired, and that along the idea of him leaving you and having to live at the Sanctuary made you feel close to tears.

“But-”

“Y/N, we’ll talk later, okay?” Daryl interrupted you before you could say anything else. “I wanted to to go for a ride.”

“But it’s dark outside, it’s dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Daryl headed to his bike and you decided not to follow him or say anything else, he seemed to need time alone, and maybe riding could help him calm down and feel better. That didn’t mean you didn’t worry. You went back to your trailer and sat down, waiting for him to come back and thinking about what he had told you.

You still thought it was unfair and not at all thoughtful or considerate from Rick to ask such a thing to his friend, especially knowing how Daryl was. He might get upset, argue, but at the end, if Rick told him he needed him to do something, Daryl would. He was loyal and selfless like that. It was a good thing, he was a good man, but you thought he should think more about himself too.

The idea of Daryl not living anymore at Hilltop brought tears to your eyes. You had gotten so used to see him every day, talk to him every evening for hours, share your trailer with him…you felt safe and content with him, you couldn’t imagine not seeing him anymore, and the idea of him being alone and sad in the Sanctuary, remembering everything that had been done to him, having to deal with shit Saviors, having to do a job he didn’t like or wanted to do. You hated it all.

You wondered…

The idea of stepping into the Sanctuary made you shudder and made your lungs close, but still, the idea of being without Daryl, and of him being alone in that horrible place made you feel even worse. You wondered if you could go with him there. You could help around too, and a nurse was pretty much welcomed everywhere these days. You felt bad about leaving the Hilltop without a nurse, but maybe you could be selfish for once, since Daryl couldn’t.

You loved living at Hilltop, though, and Maggie, you loved Maggie and your friendship. It would hurt, not being able to see her and talk to her every day, but she’d be okay. Better than Daryl’d be at the Sanctuary, you were sure, and the idea of being away from Daryl for long felt like a stab to the heart.

You would tell him when he came back, and you’d tell Maggie in the morning. It’d be a difficult change, and thinking about living at the Sanctuary again closed your throat, but you would be with Daryl, and so everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some fluffy angst! Doesn’t look like it’ll take them long to actually realized their feelings for each other, does it? But how will Daryl take Y/N wanting to go to the Sanctuary…
> 
> Also, this was one of my favourite episodes to write, I had the idea of the conversation about Daryl’s mum in my mind for a long while, it was one of the first things that came to my mind plotting this story.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	18. Chapter 18

After a while, you heard the door of the trailer being unlocked, and Daryl walked in. “You should be sleeping.”

“I wanted to wait for you. Are you feeling better?” You asked and Daryl shook his head. “Come here.” Daryl did as told, sitting down next to you, and you took a deep breath, getting ready for the conversation. “While you were out I’ve been thinking, I want to go to the Sanctuary with you.”

“What?!” Daryl stared at you as if you had gone crazy.

“I’ll go to the Sanctuary with you.” You shrugged, self-conscious, not knowing what else to say.

“What you talking about?!” Daryl got up from the bed, still looking at you in shock. “Why would you do that?! You gone crazy?!”

“I’m not crazy! Just…I don’t want you to have to go there alone…” You said shyly, and Daryl let out a sigh., sitting down and running a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath as if he were trying to calm down and control his temper.

“Thank you. I mean it.” He gave you a tiny smile, so sad that just reaffirmed you in your idea of going with him. “But you can’t go there. I’ll be fine, can take care of myself.”

“I know you can…but you shouldn’t have to be alone in that place, I don’t want you to.” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “And I don’t want to be here without you.” You admitted.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll be good here, Maggie’ll make sure.”

“I know, but I just…I don’t want to be away from you okay?” You bit your lip, but still it seemed like all your feelings were fighting to come out of your mouth in the form of shy words. “I want to be with you. I…I care for you a lot, you know it, and…”

“I know you do…” Daryl interrupted you, seeming shy too. “I care for you too, The Sanctuary, that ain’t place for you, you know it.”

“I don’t care, I don’t care where I am if I’m with you…” You groaned internally as the words left your mouth, blushing in embarrassment, you were sounding like a corny, bad romance novel, but it seemed you couldn’t stop yourself. “I like you, okay?” You admitted, you had practically done it already so let’s go ahead and let it all out, die of embarrassment. “I like you a lot, and not only as a friend, in fact I’ve been thinking that maybe I even kind of love you not really in a friendly way, so yeah…” You were feeling beyond embarrassed and awkward, and you hid your face in your hands, your whole face burning as your mouth had a mind of its own. “So…I don’t want to be without you…”

Daryl didn’t say anything, but you felt him getting up from the bed and you looked up from your hands. He was standing up with his back to you, fingers twitching, and he began pacing around. Great. You had made him uncomfortable and had made him all awkward.

“Daryl. Daryl, I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what to say, how to apologize.

“Do you mean it?” Daryl asked you without looking at you.

“I…I…” You bit your lip, feeling beyond shy all over again. “Yeah, I do.”

“You don’t have to say that, if you don’t.” Daryl turned to look at you, and even though he seemed shy, his eyes didn’t leave you, and his voice was gentle. “I’d take care of you anyway, make sure you’re okay. The baby too. You don’t have to say that you love me or nothing like that, you don’t need to.”

If you weren’t already head over hills with him, you were sure you were melting right then, wondering how someone could be so kind, and sweet, and not even realize it.

“You just listened to yourself? How could I not like you as I do?”You shrugged, smiling shyly but the words left your mouth easily. “I mean it, Daryl. I do.”

Daryl’s gaze dropped to the ground as he nodded. “Okay.”

“I don’t expect anything from you, okay?” It pained you a bit that Daryl wasn’t saying anything, that probably he didn’t share your feelings, but he already did enough for you. “I know I just…kind of blurted out all that but…nothing has to change, it doesn’t matter you don’t feel like I, and-”

“I feel like you.” Daryl stopped you from saying anything else, and you blinked at him, not daring to have hope yet.

“You do?” You asked with bated breath and Daryl nodded but he didn’t look at you or said anything else. “Sit with me, please?” He did so, stealing a glance at you before looking down at his hands as he fidgeted. “I’ll tell you the same thing that you told me. You don’t have to say that if you don’t mean it, it’s okay, I’d be your friend no matter what, and I too would take care of you no matter what.”

“But I mean it.”

Daryl looked at you, eyes genuine and serious, and you believed him. You heart sped up as one of those wild horses Maggie wanted to tame and you felt as if you could fly, a grin spreading across your face. It seemed it made Daryl smile softly, even though he seemed shy and as if he didn’t know what to do or say. You weren’t too sure either, but you were excited and giddy enough to step up, shy or not.

“Can I…can I kiss you? It’s really okay if you don’t want to.” You felt you had to be slow with Daryl, gentle, but you couldn’t help yourself from asking. He nodded and you smiled even wider, feeling like flying again.

You leaned closer and kissed his lips softly, butterflies dancing in your belly, and when you pulled away and Daryl reached out to gently cup your face and kiss you again, the butterflies just went crazy.

You couldn’t help your silly smile, reaching out to brush the hair away from his face, looking at him in awe, finding it hard to believe that he’d just kissed you, that he shared your feelings.

“What?” Daryl seemed very shy, but he was smiling too, and you loved it.

“Nothing, just…I don’t know if these I’m feeling are butterflies or the baby moving.” You half teased, feeling giddy.

Daryl snorted, shy, but his eyes looked down at your belly and then at you with curiosity. “Do they move?”

“I guess… but I haven’t felt them yet, I don’t think so… But every time I looked at you I got the butterflies and they say the first times you feel it, it’s similar to that, so I don’t know…” You loved the way in which Daryl was smiling, even though he was all blushed and seemed so shy.

“Stop that.”

You laughed, happy, reaching to push his hair away again and leaning to kiss him. “I’ve been having the butterflies since… I don’t know, a long while,” You admitted softly. “But I know…that the situation can be complicated cause…well…”

“What you mean?” Daryl smile was gone, frown on his face.

“I’m pregnant…” Not only that, but the father was… Who he was. “So yeah well… I understand that… Well, that it isn’t easy and, I’d understand if…” You tried to look for the right words.

“What you mean?” Daryl interrupted you, frown deepening “You don’t want us to be together?”

“I do, of course I do. But… I’m carrying Negan’s baby, and I know how you might feel about it, I understand it, but if you want us to be together, well, I won’t hold you to anything, just-”

“I want to be with you.” Daryl interrupted your ramble again. “That includes the kid. Don’t know what you talking about.”

“You’re so sweet.” You smiled even though you teared up a bit, which seemed to make Daryl nervous.

“Kid’s yours. That’s what matters, told you already.”

“You did. Thank you.” You smiled to him. “You’re the best, you seriously are.” Daryl just scoffed at that , blushing even more. “You are, Daryl…couldn’t help myself from falling for you, could I?” You half teased, trying to push through your shyness. “But I wasn’t sure about telling you…Now I’m glad I kind of just…blurted it all out.” You chuckled, a bit embarrassed but mostly just happy.

“I don’t know when I knew that I liked you like this, but I know that I do…” Daryl said quietly, looking down, and you could see he was fighting against his own shyness too. His words were making you feel all kind of butterflies again, and timidly, you reached out for his hand. Daryl didn’t seem to mind, lacing his fingers with yours. “But I wasn’t sure…wasn’t sure you’d see me like that…and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to be with me like that so I’d help you be safe…”

“Daryl.” You cupped his face with your free hand, making him look up. “No one in the world could expect something like that from you. You’re the kindest, selfless man I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky you feel for me the way I feel for you.” You bit your lip, shy, but you made a point on not looking away from Daryl’s eyes, hoping he’d believe your words.

Daryl didn’t say anything, just looked at you, and then he leaned closer. You weren’t sure if he was going to kiss you, but instead he buried his face on the crook of your shoulder as if he were shy. You felt like you might very well melt right there. You wrapped your arms around him and reached to play with his hair, running your fingers through it softly and pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he snuggled closer.

You had almost forgotten the reason why you’d been waiting for Daryl in the first place, the Sanctuary and him leaving. It seemed almost like Daryl had forgotten too, but then he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and pulled away from you. “Gotta pack my stuff…” He said as if it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do, and making no movement to get up.

“I don’t want you to.”

“Don’t want to either.” He let out a tired sigh.

“Then don’t.” You held his hand as if that could prevent him from going back to that horrible place.

“I gotta. I gotta do this for Rick.” Sometimes you thought Daryl was too good for his own good.

“Okay. Then I’m going with you.”

“Y/N…” Daryl looked at you, face serious, but you were ready to stand up for that. “You can’t, that place’s a mess, I don’t trust any Savior there, I don’t care what they say. It could be dangerous, I don’t want you near them.”

“I’ll be okay.” It scared you, it did, but not enough to let go of Daryl. “Saviors are under control, they know they lost, and anyway, if I’m with you they won’t do anything to me, I’ll be safe.”

Daryl let out a sigh, looking away from you. “You’d be safer here, and anyway, Y/N, you’re pregnant, the Sanctuary ain’t place for you.”

“There’s an infirmary, and I’m a nurse, so don’t worry about that.” Besides, you could keep coming to the Hilltop periodically to check both on you and Maggie.

“I don’t know…ain’t a good idea…”

“I feel safer when I’m with you, I know I am safer. I don’t want to be here missing you, I want to be with you…” You looked at him with puppy eyes, lacing your fingers with his. “I want us to be together…”

Daryl’s fingers played with yours as he tore his eyes away from you, and you thought he was going to keep arguing but then he let out a defeated sigh. “Okay…but anything happens, you come back here.”

“Okay!” You grinned, leaning to kiss his cheek, noticing how Daryl couldn’t help his own smile which just made you grin bigger. “I know that place is shit, I know what you went through there…” you had gone through stuff to you, and you knew everything will come back once you were there, but it’d be okay if you were with Daryl. “But we’ll be together so everything will be fine.”

You tried to sound as optimistic as you could, still grinnin, which it was easier since you didn’t remember the last time you were that happy. Daryl had kissed you…he felt for you what you felt for him…it was enough to have you almost floating. Daryl didn’t say anything, just reached out to gently brush his knuckles over your cheekbone before leaning down and kissing your forehead.

It didn’t take long for both of you to pack your things, you didn’t have that much to begin with. You decided you wanted to take with you a couple of the medical books you were studying. When you came back from the medical trailer with them, and also with a small first aid kit that you had put together to take with you too, Daryl had already finished packing and was sat down on the sofa. You sat down on the bed, looking at him.

“I’ll tell Maggie tomorrow that I’m leaving too, in case she’s asleep already.”

“She’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss her…” You smiled sadly, but your place was with Daryl. “But I hope I can come back some times, keep doing nurse stuff here and all that, since Siddiq went to Alexandria.”

“I’ll try driving you here, but if I can’t then someone will.”

“Okay.” You bit your lip, considering your next choice of words. “Daryl…I was thinking…maybe… would you like to sleep on the bed with me this night?”

Daryl looked down and then at you, nodding. “Okay.”

You smiled, pulling back the sheets and curling up on your side, waiting for Daryl to join you. When he did, you shifted closer, throwing an arm around him and snuggling to him. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” Daryl’s arm wrapped around you too and you smiled, resting your head on his chest, and he began to run his fingers through your hair.

“I haven’t felt this good in…I don’t know…” You were happy, beyond that, and if you’d already felt safe and protected when you were with Daryl, that was nothing compared with how you felt now with his arm around you. He didn’t say anything, but his arm held you tighter and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

That night you slept better and deeper than you ever had, and when you woke up, the sun was already illuminating the trailer. You thought Daryl’d wanted you both to get up early, and he was an early riser anyway, but it seemed he’d wanted to let you sleep, not even moving so as not to bother you. When he noticed you waking up, you felt his fingers brushing over your arm softly.

“Good morning.” You looked up from his chest to smile at him, reaching to run your fingers softly over his cheek. He smiled too, closing his eyes when you caressed his face, and you shifted to kiss his lips. His fingers found his way to your hair as you kissed him, running through it, and you pulled away regretfully. “I really don’t want to move,” you complained. “But I should go have breakfast with Maggie, tell her about the Sanctuary and all that…”

Daryl looked at you seriously, his fingers still on your hair. “You really should stay here.”

“We talked about it,” you let out a sigh and pouted. “I don’t want you to go alone, and I don’t want to be without you…besides…there’s no way I want to go back to sleeping without you…” You bit your lip shyly, but you couldn’t help your smile. You wished you could always sleep in Daryl’s arms for now on.

“Yeah…yeah me neither…” Daryl sighed, sounding defeated.

“Then don’t argue about it, we’re going together.” You pecked his lips before forcing yourself to pull away from him and start to get ready for the day.

*

“You sure you wanna go back there…” Maggie was frowning at you as she helped you pack some more things she had lent you, despite you telling her it was not necessary.

“It’s not that I want to but…I just don’t like the idea of Daryl being there, you know everything that was done to him there…I rather keep him company…” You said and Maggie nodded at your words though she smirked, you didn’t know why.

“Yeah…and I guess you don’t want to be far from Daryl.”

“Well…no, I don’t…” You shrugged shyly. “It’s not that I wouldn’t miss you, you’re my friend, you know it, right? Just…well…”

“Don’t worry, I get it.” Maggie squeezed your shoulder gently. “So…it’s official between you two now? You seemed kind of close this morning… I mean, even closer.” She chuckled softly.

“Official?” You blushed, cheeks burning, despite you being happy. “Well…we’re together, yeah. We talked last night and…yeah, I guess we’re a thing now.” You smiled shyly, feeling butterflies all over again.

“You seemed together since before last night, but whatever.” Maggie shrugged, grinning, and you blushed more, making her laugh. “It’s a good thing, I’m happy about it. I think you’ll be good for each other. I’m happy Daryl has someone like you, it’s good for him.

“Thanks…” You smiled, blinking your eyes as you felt a bit emotional at Maggie’s words. “I’m sorry about leaving Hilltop without a nurse…”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“I’ll try to come back as much as I can, okay? I’ll miss you…”

“I’ll miss you too.” Maggie wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you both walked out of the house.

*

You watched as Daryl secured your bag to his bike, at the other side of his own, before he turned to frown at you. “Ain’t sure you should be riding a bike while pregnant…”

“I rode it before, remember? When we escaped the Sanctuary? I was pregnant back then too.”

“Yeah, but…” His eyes went to your small bump and his frown deepened.

“I hope you are not calling me too fat to ride a bike.” You joked.

“Ain’t that.” Daryl rolled his eyes but smiled when you grinned at him.

“It’ll be okay, Daryl.” You knew Daryl wanted to take his bike with him, and you didn’t want to have Maggie lending you a car, the Hilltop didn’t have that many vehicles. The bike would be good. “Come on, let’s go, or I’ll go say goodbye to Maggie again and I’ll cry again.”

“Alright…” Daryl got onto the bike, turning the engine on, before reaching out to help you get situated behind him. You wrapped your arms around him, holding securely to him. “You good?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

That first time you had ridden on Daryl’s bike, you had held tight to him out of fear, but now as you began to slowly get used to the feeling of the bike, you began to enjoy the feeling of your arms around him, even though your heart was pumping fast, not used to riding on a bike. Daryl was going slow, though, slower than that day, and you rested your cheek against his back, enjoying the feeling of being so close to him, holding him.

“Still good?” You heard Daryl asking you over the sound of the bike.

“Pretty good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…they kissed! Are you happy?
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	19. Chapter 19

When you arrived at the Sanctuary, Rick was there, which you hadn’t expected, surprising you. Rick seemed surprised to see you too when Daryl stopped the bike inside the Sanctuary yard. You held onto his shoulders, getting off the bike a bit clumsily, though Daryl helped you.

“Y/N, I didn’t know you were coming too…” Rick greeted, voice friendly but frown on his face.

“Yeah, well…” You didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like Daryl or you were there because you wanted to. You felt Daryl’s hand at the small of your back, helping you feel less awkward. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

“No, not at all,” Rick smiled, but he looked from you to Daryl and then back at you, seeming puzzled, and you felt self-conscious. “It’ll be good having someone else to help.” Rick still looked confused but you also thought he looked kind of amused, and when he looked at Daryl, who seemed as self-conscious as you, his smile grew bigger.

“Can we get going? There’s shit to do.” Daryl said as he moved away from you to get both your bags from the bike.

“Yeah, we have to inform everyone about you being in charge now and how things are gonna go here from now on…”

“You think I’m gonna go give a talk or some shit you better think it again,” Daryl grumbled.

“I’ll do the talking.” Rick chuckled, smiling amused at Daryl, who just seemed more grumpy, and squeezing his shoulder as they began to walk, you following them. You were angry Rick had made Daryl go to the Sanctuary, making him lead in such a place when he didn’t want to, but you also could see Rick did love Daryl as family. You didn’t know what to think. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

As you followed them, looking around, you couldn’t help the anxiety and sense of dread that you felt at the pit of your stomach, or your shudder when you stepped inside the main area. You looked at Daryl and you could see how his face was dark too, lips pursed, his fingers twitching as he walked. You reached out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. He seemed startled until he realized it was you, and he gave you a nod, reaching to squeeze your arm gently and pull you to walk closer to him. Rick arched an eyebrow at you both, smirking, but didn’t say anything.

Rick lead you to the top of the stairs where Negan had given his speeches, and all kind of wrong memories came back to you, but you tried to push them away. Daryl seemed very awkward about the idea of getting up there as people gathered down, and you felt just like him, besides, you were sure that wasn’t your place.

“I’m going to head for the infirmary, get it ready to work, is that okay?” You asked Rick.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No.” Daryl stopped walking to frown at you. “No, don’t go wandering alone.”

“She’ll really be okay, I know the place’s far from perfect, but Saviors hadn’t attacked anyone.”

“I said no.”

“Okay,” you didn’t insist, you knew that, at some point, you’d have to go places alone in there, but for now you gave in, acknowledging Daryl’s worries, which were your own.

Rosita and Eugine stood behind Daryl and Rick, and you stayed even further behind them, trying to stay in the shadows. Still, you felt some eyes on you, some of them you recognized as Saviors, others as workers from your time in there.

Rick explained how Daryl’d be the one leading the place from now on, supported by Rosita and Eugine, how things were going to go from now on, now that the Sanctuary was back to work, helped by the supplies that were sent from Alexandria and Hilltop. The priority now was to plant seeds and manage to have a harvest so the Sanctuary could feed itself.

After his talk, Rick left, heading to Alexandria, and Daryl and you had time to settle in. All in all, you thought you weren’t doing bad, though when a good meaning woman asked you if you’d like to go back to staying in what had been your old room, you freaked out a bit at the idea. Daryl wasn’t saying anything, but you’d noticed how he’d stiffened when he walked across the rooms where he was kept and tortured. You were sure it was a good thing you both were there together to help each other through it.

There were some looks, but nobody questioned why Daryl and you left your things in the same room, and neither of you seemed eager to give explanations. You decided to stick by Daryl’s side, leave the infirmary for the next day, and so you followed him as he checked the place, listened to what needed to be done, and gave his own ideas.

That evening you both dined with Rosita and Eugine, them and Daryl talking once again about what to do with the place. You didn’t say much, feeling like intruding a bit and like you didn’t know what to say. Daryl’s eyes went to you a couple of times, as if checking that you were okay, and you nodded each time, letting him know that he didn’t need to worry despite your silence.

When Daryl and you finally went back to what from now on seemed to be your room, you had to admit you were dead on your feet, and you dropped onto the mattress with a tired sigh.

“Are you okay?” Daryl asked you, sitting down on the bed.

“Yeah, just…long day.”

Daryl just hummed, lying down on the bed next to you. “Come here?” he whispered almost as if shy and you grinned, shifting closer to snuggle with him, your arm over his stomach and your head resting on his chest as his arm wrapped around you, holding you to him.

“Y/N?”

You had almost fallen asleep with Daryl stroking your hair in silence, when he called your name. “Yeah?”

“I still think you’d be better at the Hilltop and that you shouldn’t be here. And I’ll drive you back whenever you decide you don’t want to be here no more, tomorrow if you want to,” he said quietly “But thank you for coming with me.”

“I told you I’d take care of you.” You reminded him, snuggling to him even closer, curling your fingers on the fabric of his shirt as you held to him. “Can’t do that if I’m away from you. I’m not going anywhere.”

You felt Daryl placing a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling into your hair as his arm tightened around you. His hand rested casually on your belly and as you placed yours on top of his, you couldn’t help your mind from wandering to your bump and the baby inside, from wishing things would have been different, that the baby were maybe his. He said he wanted to be with you and that it included the baby, but you still thought it wasn’t fair to ask him to be some sort of father to a baby that was not only not his but, also Negan’s…and yet Daryl didn’t seem to mind, and you couldn’t stop yourself from wishing. He’d be so good at it, you felt it.

“I’m gonna take care of you too,” Daryl whispered into your hair. “Both of you.”

His words warmed you from inside with all king of fuzzy feelings. “Still don’t know if these are the butterflies or the baby moving.” You felt Daryl’s chuckling, nuzzling to your hair again.

*

You spent the next day mostly following Daryl and Rosita around again as they gave instructions to the people working and listed everything that needed to be done. The only change was when you announced you were going to head to the infirmary, check if the place was still working and if there were supplies in it.

No matter what, Daryl insisted on going with you. The place was a bit of a mess, as if someone might have taken refuge in there when the walkers busted in, but most of the medical stuff seemed to be there and still working. You found the key to the storeroom and when you opened it, you saw that most of the stuff seemed to be there in the boxes, like Daryl and you had left it. It brought a smile to your face.

“What?”

“Nothing, just…” You didn’t know how to put it into words. “This is the first place where we actually started talking…” Little did you know what the future had in store for you both back then.

Daryl didn’t say anything, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer and kiss your forehead. “It’s everything okay here then?”

“Yes, I’ll just clean a bit and I should be able to get back to work tomorrow.”

“I ain’t sure…”

“I’ll be okay,” You stepped in front of Daryl to look at his eyes, holding his hands. “No one hurts the nurse who’s gonna heal them.”

“These people would,” Daryl growled, his feelings for the Saviors clear, and not that you didn’t feel the same, but you wanted to reassure him.

“I can have someone helping me. It’ll be okay. Promise.”

“Alright…” Daryl gave in, leaning to peck your lips and you felt yourself melt at his soft kiss.

“Come with me to find someone who wants to help me around here?”

“Yeah, come on.”

*

A couple of days passed fast as Daryl and you adapted to life at the Sanctuary. A woman whom you have known before from your days as a nurse at the old Sanctuary volunteered to help you, and both of you cleaned the infirmary, and she also helped you when you began checking on people again. You tried to treat the ex-Saviors that came to the infirmary in the same way that you treated the ex-workers, it was hard sometimes as you recognized them from what they had done, but you tried to keep it professional.

There weren’t that many people needing a nurse, though, and so you’d decided you’d also help doing inventory, sorting stuff, and things like that, wherever it was needed, as it was a task you liked doing. All in all, you thought you weren’t doing bad in there.

Daryl seemed to be adapting worse than you. You knew he carried a weight way havier than you, that he was stressed and worried about things not working and about everything that needed to be done to keep the Sanctuary working. He also worried about the Saviors being up to something, or attacking someone, no matter that the couple of days that you had been there they hadn’t tried anything. He hated to lead, you knew it, feeling trapped in there. Last night he’d whispered to you how he wished he could take his bike and just ride away and into the woods, even if just for a while. You hated that he felt like that, and you hated even more that you didn’t know how to help him. You just tried to be there for him.

The day before, he’d found that the Sanctuary had a big garage and still some cars and bikes in it, and you had spent part of the early evening watching him work on one of the bikes, glad he could have something to do that he enjoyed, a place to wind down and hide from everything else for a little bit.

“You’re bored here,” he had told you, looking at you from the bike.

“No, I like watching you, you’re really good at that.”

Daryl had scoffed, shaking his head, a small, shy smile tugging at his lips as he rubbed his face with a grease-stained hand, smearing it on his face too. He was just so cute sometimes, you could help your smile.

Now, you had finished working for the day, and when you asked they told you Daryl was at the garage again. You decided to take one of the medical books to study while Daryl worked.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Claudia, the woman who helped you, asked.

“No, it’s okay, I know my way. See you tomorrow!”

You had almost reached the garage when you saw someone approaching, and you couldn’t help yourself from walking faster, even though you knew that the man approaching was probably not a threat.

“Hey, wait!” The man called for you. “You’re the nurse, right?”

You bit your lip but decided to turn around and address him. “Yes, that’s me, you need something?”

“You were our nurse before, weren’t you?” The man was standing in front of you now, you thought you recognized him from before as one of the Saviors, and you fidgeted nervously under his gaze, nodding, and he chuckled. “But you weren’t just the nurse, I knew I recognized you, you were one of the wives!”

You said nothing and you started to walk again, but he stepped in front of you, chuckling. You felt anxiety creeping into you, though he didn’t look like he were going to hurt you, he just looked amused, but the way in which he looked at you unsettled you.

“What is it, then? You just come with the job? Whoever leads gets to have you too? I wonder who you’ll be doing next.” He chuckled and you felt like crying. “Or it was all you? Did you change sleeping with one boss for another? Quite a way of Survival and having the best life you can, princess. You fucked Negan and when you saw it was over then you jumped to the next bed you saw on top of the chain?”

You managed to walk around him and then you walked faster, you could already see the door of the garage, but the Savior kept following you and you felt a lump in your throat.

“Come on, we’re just talking! You’re carrying Negan’s, yeah? What does the new boss think about it? Or did you tell him it was his? I mean, he looks dumb enough to believe it, maybe he can’t even count the months.”

You had been feeling anxious and scared, but the words of the Savior seemed to made that disappear, filling you with anger instead, and you stopped walking, turning to look at the Savior.

“Shut up,” you hissed, surprising even yourself with the venom in your voice.

“Well, she speaks!” He didn’t seem scared of you at all, only amused. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’re upset you have to share your bed with a dumb redneck now? Are you missing Negan?” He mocked and you felt like punching him.

“I told you to shut up! He’s smarter than any of you, you useless bastards. All of you survived because of Negan and he’s not here anymore! You all can’t do anything but killing, you’re good for nothing!” You didn’t know how you were daring to say all that, burning with a wave of anger you didn’t remember ever feeling before.

You regretted it soon, as the Savior got even closer to you, getting on your face. “You’re the one who should shut up, darling,” he threatened and you began shaking as anger was replaced by fear once again. “If all I can do is killing, maybe you shouldn’t be talking to me like that, should you? You think you’re safe because you let the boss fuck you? How much would he care if you go missing? There were lots of you, we could find him another.”

You looked at him as a deer caught on lights, breathing hard, expecting him to do anything to you, but he seemed to decide you weren’t worthy, stepping away from you. “Better watch your mouth, princess, you aren’t as important as you seem to think.”

You didn’t say anything, rushing down the corridor and into the garage. Daryl was in there alone, working on the same bike. He looked up quickly when he heard the door opening and closing, seeming to relax when he saw it was you, but then he was frowning an approaching.

“What happened?”

“Nothing…” You didn’t want to tell him about your encounter, embarrassed, and also not wanting him to worry and scold you, but you were still shaking, your skin pale and your eyes wet.

“Ain’t nothing” Daryl grabbed your chin gently, making you look at him though you avoided his eyes. “Did someone do something to you?!” You could feel him getting more worried and angrier, and you didn’t know what to say.

“No, no…no, just…there was a Savior in the corridor he…did nothing to me, just…he said things to me.” You stammered.

“What things?” Daryl growled.

“Stuff about Negan, nothing.” You didn’t want to get into detail.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, no, he just said bullshit, but nothing else, I promise, I’m okay.” You went to hold Daryl’s hand but he pulled away from you and began to pace.

“What were you doing alone?!” He almost yelled and you flinched a bit at his tone. “I told you not to!”

“I was just going from the storeroom to here, and nothing happened, nothing but a Savior saying stupid things to me.”

“You know how they are! We can’t trust them! They could have hurt you!” He was getting angrier and you were getting more anxious. “You shouldn’t walk around alone!”

“I can’t be with someone all the time,” you tried to reason, voice shaking.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be here!” He snapped and you looked down as you felt tears in your eyes, not wanting him to see them. “I told you to stay at Hilltop, this ain’t place for you. You shouldn’t have come!”

You didn’t say anything, feeling a lump in your throat and fidgeting anxiously, feeling like rushing out of the garage, but you weren’t sure it was a good idea. You noticed Daryl approaching but you didn’t look at him, and then his knuckles brushed down your cheek, cupping your face to make you look at him, ever so gentle despite how angry he had seemed.

“Y/N…” He called your name softly. “Y/N, I’m sorry, please don’t cry.” You nodded, but you felt tears in your eyes anyway and you tried to look away from Daryl. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I yelled, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” you said weakly.

“It’s not. I’m sorry.” His thumb wiped one of your tears softly, and when you looked at him you saw he seemed like he wanted to cry himself, his anger gone as he just seemed worried. “Can we…do you want to go to the bedroom?”

You nodded and Daryl placed his hand on the small of your back, walking you both through the corridors until you reached the bedroom you both shared. Once in there you just stood there, looking at your hands as you fidgeted, not knowing what to do, still feeling anxious, wondering if Daryl would ask you to leave the Sanctuary.

“I really am sorry, I didn’t mean…I’m sorry…I just…” Daryl seemed to struggle to look for words, and you neither knew what to say, looking down. “I can…do you want me to leave you alone?”

You looked at him at that, taken aback, before looking down again. “No.”

Daryl didn’t say anything else, but he walked to the bed, flopping down onto it and you heard him taking a deep breath. You peered at him and saw him running a hand through his messy hair before looking at the ground.

“You came here because of me, it’s my fault that you have to deal with all this shit. The people in this place are dangerous, and I just…I don’t want you to get hurt, but I don’t know how to keep you safe.” Daryl seemed to have found his voice, but you seemed to have lost yours. “I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I’ve been like that since we got here. But I don’t know how to do better.”

“I’m scared of the Saviors,” you finally were able to speak, voice small. “And I appreciate that you worry, I’m lucky you take care of me…but if something happens to me, it’s not your fault. I’m here because I wanted to, because I want to be with you…but if you want me to…if you want it, I can leave.” You bit your lip, you didn’t want to cry.

Daryl let out a sigh. “You should. I shouldn’t have taken you here…but I don’t want you to leave.” He sounded like he was angry with himself. “I know you should, though.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” You shrugged, shy.

Daryl didn’t say anything, but he reached out his hand towards you, seeming hesitant, and he was about to pull it back when you took it. Gently, he pulled you closer to him so you’d be standing in front of him, looking down at him as he sat down on the bed.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he rasped, and you could feel the fingers of the hand that held yours twitching nervously. “I wouldn’t hurt you. I won’t.”

“I know, you didn’t scare me like that.” You had felt anxious at his anger and scared he’d send you away, but you knew Daryl wouldn’t hurt you. “I’m sorry I worried you, but it was nothing. I don’t care about Saviors talking shit, and that’s all they can do now. We’ll be okay.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, and you wondered if he believed you. He lifted your hand to kiss your knuckles, and then he let go of it. You didn’t know what to say or do, and so just took one of the medical books out of your bag and went to sat down on your side of the bed to read, your back against the headboard.

Daryl shifted to lie down next to you and you noticed him reaching out his hand hesitantly, without getting to touch you. Holding the book with one hand, you took Daryl’s hand with the other, placing it on top of your thigh and lacing your fingers. You tried to forget about the Savior, focusing only on the book and the feeling of Daryl’s hand gently caressing your leg. You weren’t going to let the Saviors or anyone else ruin your happiness once again. Talk all they wanted, you didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought they were going to be happy at the Sanctuay? I’m sorry.
> 
> Also, for now on, I’ll be updating once a week so this fic will finish the week of Christmas, I liked the idea. I hope you won’t mind. This will aso give me more time to finish my next stories. I was thinking about updating on Monday, but it’s there any other day that you prefer?
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	20. Chapter 20

You woke up as you felt Daryl carefully rolling you onto your side of the bed so he could pull away. You groaned, not really awake, reaching out for him blindly.

“Where’re you going? It’s early…” You murmured. Daryl always woke up with the sun, but that day seemed to be even earlier.

“Out hunting before I have to come back and do shit.” He leaned over you, pushing your hair away from your face and kissing your forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“Be careful…” you whispered, sleep already taking over you again.

The next time you woke up, the sun was already up in the sky. You got ready quickly and went to the infirmary to check on whoever might need it, do some inventory, and study. You were sat down there when suddenly you felt…you felt something, you didn’t know what, something you hadn’t felt before in your belly. Those weren’t the butterflies, that for sure, though it was similar.

You stood still, barely daring to breathe, but the feeling was gone as suddenly as it had come. A silly smile spread across your face. So that must be, that was how it felt when the baby moved. It was such a barely-there feeling, not what you had been expecting, yet you felt giddy. You waited but it didn’t come back, disappointing you, you hoped the baby would decide to move again soon.

You wanted to tell Daryl, even though you didn’t know if he’d be interested or what he might think. He still seemed not to mind that you were carrying a baby that wasn’t not only not his, but that was Negan’s, still seemed to want to be with you, not only that but it seemed pretty much like he wouldn’t mind taking the baby as his own. Still, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel your insecurities creeping in, and you still felt like it was too much to ask from Daryl.

Part of you wanted to go and tell Daryl already, but you weren’t feeling the baby anymore and the idea of going to bother Daryl while he was doing whatever needed to be done embarrassed you, and so you decided to wait until he was free.

You left the infirmary when it was time for lunch, heading to the kitchen area and taking a bowl of freshly made stew.

“It’s not canned soup or anything like that, it’s squirrel stew,” the woman cooking told you. “Daryl brought us some this morning, we’ll have stew for tomorrow too.”

“He’s a great hunter.” You grinned, couldn’t help how proud the woman’s words made you feel. You hoped Daryl felt better now that he’d been able to go out for a bit. You ate alone, wishing that Daryl’d show up, but he didn’t. On one side, you wanted to go looking for him, but again, you didn’t want to be a bother.

There was nothing else for you to do at the infirmary, and so you decided to head to your room and check the notebook where you had written everything that you could help to do, inventories, and all that kind of things. Once inside the room, you squinted when you noticed something on your pillow. You approached and a silly smile spread across your face when you realized it was a flower, a yellow one like the ones you had seen near the Sanctuary. Once again you felt something inside your belly, but you were sure those were butterflies and not the baby.

Only Daryl and you had a key to that room, so it had to be his. It wasn’t there when you woke up, so he must have come back to leave it there later, after his hunt. Daryl was sweet and caring, but you hadn’t expected him to bring you flowers or anything like that. You twirled the flower, feeling all kind of fuzzy things.

You looked around for something where you could put the flower, and you filled an empty can with water, placing the flower in it and on top of the table. It wasn’t the prettiest vase, but it’d do. You felt the butterflies fluttering again as you looked at the flower before leaving the room, heading to the storeroom where the seeds were kept. Maggie had written some notes about when you should plant each kind of seed, how to care for it, and all that stuff that most of the people at the Sanctuary had no idea about, and so you wanted to sort the seeds according to when you should plant them, and write down when they would bloom, so you could more or less estimate how much food you might have in the future, if everything went well.

Once you finished, you decided to head to the garage, hoping Daryl was already there and you both could go have dinner together. Before arriving there though, a commotion and voices yelling caught your attention, and it scared you but you rushed towards it to see what was going on.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when you saw Daryl and someone else, a Savior, fighting each other. You froze for a second, but then you rushed to them. You saw more people doing the same, it seemed some other Saviors were trying to stop them, but another one went for Daryl too, though Rosita seemed to appear out of nowhere, dragging him away and pushing him, threatening him if he tried something.

The blonde Savior, Laura, was trying to drag the other Savior away from Daryl too, but he kept struggling, and when someone else tried to do the same with Daryl, he pushed him away too. You had caught up with them, and you didn’t know how you managed to be brave, but you stepped in and grabbed Daryl’s arm to tried to stop him while Laura dragged back the other Savior again, helped by Arat too this time. Daryl struggled at first until he noticed it was you and he stopped, looking at you and seeming surprised.

“Stop, Daryl, please.” You begged. Daryl looked at the Savior and you could feel him shaking as if ready to pounce again, but he didn’t, letting you drag him away.

“Everyone, stop the bullshit right now!” Rosita confronted the Saviors that had gathered there, looking quite menacing. “I want everyone back to their jobs. Now. Come on. I don’t want to see anything like this again, if this shit happens again, I’m kicking your asses out of here.”

“Then you better look for a new boss, his ass is the first one you gotta kick out.” The Savior who had been fighting with Daryl glared at him, and you tightened your hold on his arm when you heard him growl.

“You’re gonna try selling me the ‘he started it’ bullshit?” Rosita didn’t relent. “Get out of here.”

“Believe what you want. You all treat us like we’re less than you ‘cause you won, but you go around pretending we are equals and that you’re here to help. Fucking bullshit.” The Savior spat, but he turned around to walk away.

“Hey, nurse!” A voice called for you and you realized, horrified, that it was the Savior who had cornered you the other day on your way to the garage. He didn’t seem to dare to approach you now, though you didn’t like the look in his eyes. “Shouldn’t you go check on him?”

You felt Daryl’s tensing even more as if ready to pounce, but before he could do anything, Rosita spoke again. “He can get some band-aids himself. Now come on, all of you. Back. To. Work. Now!”

There were some murmurs, some nasty looks, but everyone began to leave. Laura approached Rosita and both of them left too, talking quietly. Once there was no one else close, Daryl broke free of your grasp and began walking fast. You didn’t know where, but you followed him.

“Daryl! Daryl! Wait! Come on, wait for me, please!”

Daryl stopped, turning to look at you, though you could see him still shaking, fingers twitching. He looked back as if he were about to walk away again, but he didn’t, waiting for you. You approached, noticing how agitated he seemed, his breath uneven. You stood as closer to him as you could, placing your hands on his chest, feeling his heart tumping fast, fast like a runaway horse.

“Breathe.” You whispered, and though Daryl still looked like he could push you and run away, he actually listened to you. You thought about taking him to the infirmary, but he seemed to just have a couple of bruises, so you decided to just go to your room. “Come on, come with me.”

You reached out and held his hand, and even though you could feel Daryl’s fingers twitching nervously in yours, he let you walk you both to your room, and he didn’t resist when you pushed him to sat down on the bed. You took the small first aid kit that you kept in the bedroom and knelt down in front of him to clean his face, Daryl letting you do so in silence.

Once you finished, you put the kit back in its place, and stepped in front of Daryl, reaching out to cup his face and ever so gently brush your thumb over one of the bruises.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Daryl didn’t answer, instead he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer and burying his face above your small bump, nuzzling into you. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him to you.

“Just a Savior talking bullshit,” he said without pulling away from you.

“They do that. Some at least. No reason to get into a fight, it’s not worth it. Just ignore them,” you said as you stroke his hair, and Daryl just hummed. “What was the bullshit about?”

“Stuff…” Daryl replied evasively, and you feared it had been something about you, or something similar to what that other Savior had told you. You didn’t want any kind of trouble to happen in the Sanctuary because of you, and much less Daryl getting hurt.

“Was it about me?”

Daryl shifted in your arms, and you thought he wasn’t going to answer, but then he murmured, “some…”

You let out a sigh. “I don’t care. Let them. I don’t want to cause any trouble. I don’t want you getting hurt or in trouble, or anything like that. Don’t do anything like that again, please, just let them say their bullshit.”

“I can’t.” Daryl pulled away to look at you. “I won’t let them talk about you like that.”

You reached out to caress his cheek. “Thank you, but it’s not worthy.” Daryl looked as if he wanted to say something else, but then he seemed to decide he didn’t want to risk maybe upsetting you, and he just leaned into your touch. You had the feeling he wouldn’t let it go, though. You could understand his feelings. “You know, that Savior that stopped me the other day, when he said some bullshit about you… I wanted to punch him so bad.”

Daryl looked at you, wide-eyed. “You don’t go doing nothing like that!”

“Course not…but I wanted too…can’t let them talk about you like that either.” You bit your lip, looking down, a shy smile on your face. Daryl didn’t say anything, just pulled you closer and held you again.

“I hate this place,” he muttered against your shirt.

“I know,” you murmured, kissing the top of his head. “But it’ll get better, we’ll make it better. I was inventorying the seeds that Maggie gave us, we can start planting them soon, we’ll make some gardens, it’ll be good.”

“This is a damn factory with concrete floors, nothing’s gonna grow here…” Daryl sounded so frustrated and hopeless, you had been trying to be positive for him, but you knew he was pretty much right, and you couldn’t help the sad sigh that escaped your lips.

Daryl pulled away to look at you at that. “Hey, you’re right. We’ll make it work.”

You nodded, giving him a weak smile, though you knew he was just trying to make you feel better. Daryl held you a bit more firmly and tugged at you until you fall onto his lap. You hadn’t expected it and you let out a squeak before realizing what was happening, which made Daryl chuckle as he nuzzled into your hair.

You pulled back just enough to look at him, pushing his hair away from his face and brushing your knuckles over his cheek. Daryl was slowly but surely showing more open affection, and you couldn’t help the way in which he made you feel, butterflies dancing in your belly. It made you remember the morning, when the baby moved.

“Hey, I haven’t told you yet, I felt the baby move!” You couldn’t help your excited grin.

“Yeah?” Daryl blinked, eyes drifting to your belly, brow furrowing, and you wondered what was going on inside his head, you hoped it wasn’t bad. Then you noticed the corner of his mouth curling upwards, ever so briefly that you almost missed it, but it helped you relax.

“Yep, those were definitely not butterflies…though it felt a bit like that…it’s…it’s strange, I don’t know how to explain it. I haven’t felt it again, though.”

Daryl chewed on his lip before looking at you. “Would you tell me? If they move again?”

You grinned, butterflies erupting in your belly and heart beating fast at the idea of Daryl actually wanting you to let him know when the baby moved. “Sure thing.”

Daryl smiled at you and you kissed his lips before snuggling comfortably on his lap, leaning against his chest. Your eyes landed on the yellow flower and you found yourself grinning again. “Thank you for the flower. I love it. It made me really happy to see it, still does.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, just hummed, shifting a bit under you, and when you looked at him you were surprised to see how his cheeks had blushed a deep red and he was looking anywhere but at you. He was such a badass, yet he could be so cute. You cupped his face to make him look at you before kissing him deeply, and Daryl seemed to forget about his shyness as he kissed you back.

*

You weren’t sure of what had woken you. You couldn’t hear anything in the room, besides Daryl’s breathing as he slept, and you didn’t remember having a bad dream. You always hated it, waking up in the middle of the night, but you were able to go back to sleep easily. You snuggled back against Daryl, smiling when his arm tightened around you, his chest pressing firmly against your back, and you were about to fall asleep again when you felt it again, those sort of bubbles or butterflies moving subtly inside your belly.

Your silly smile was back on your face, and you giggled quietly. You bit your lip, you didn’t know what to do. Daryl had told you to tell him the next time you felt the baby moving, but he was asleep and you weren’t sure about waking him. The weird sensation was back inside your belly, and you couldn’t help your excitement.

“Daryl,” you rolled onto your back and reached out blindly to stroke his cheek. “Daryl.” You felt him stir awake as he hummed, holding you to him.

“You okay?” Daryl murmured. “There’s something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong,” you assured him before he could worry further. “I just felt the baby again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…and again…” You giggled, it was such a weird feeling but you felt giddy.

Daryl didn’t say anything, but you felt his arm moving and then his hand hovering over your bump, barely touching it as if he were unsure, and so you placed your hand on top of his, pressing it to your belly carefully.

“I can’t feel nothing,” Daryl murmured, and you wondered if he did sound disappointed or you were imagining it.

“I thought so…I think only I can feel it, don’t think anyone else will be able to notice it until a month or two,” you explained and Daryl just hummed. “This is…this is so weird…”

“I imagine,” Daryl murmured, his arm tightening around you as he curled up with you, seeming ready to go back to sleep, but now you couldn’t help all the thoughts that were filling your mind.

“No, I mean…I have a person inside my belly. A tiny one, yeah, but a person still…a real, alive, human…” You didn’t know why all of that was suddenly coming to your mind, maybe it was because you were finally feeling the baby, but it was a bit overwhelming. “Just…how crazy is that? It’s amazing yeah, but it’s so crazy too…”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Am I sounding crazy?” You didn’t know how to put into words all the thoughts that crowded your mind.

“Didn’t say that.” Daryl nuzzled softly into your shoulder. “Just asked if you were okay.”

“I’m okay, just…I know it’s obvious but I guess I’ve just realized that I have an actual living thing inside…and putting it like that sounds gross…and now I’m horrible for thinking like this…” You ranted, your thoughts getting out of hand, but when you heard Daryl snorting you couldn’t help your own chuckle. “It’s not that I’m freaking out or that I’m worried…just…it’s kind of crazy to think that I’m carrying an actual baby that moves and thinks and whatnot.”

“They can think? What would they think about? They ain’t even seen or done nothing yet.”

“Well I don’t know…but I read this thing that said that up to some month babies in the belly might be able to think, but not like us, like maybe they feel like sleepwalking? Not really awake? But who knows…it’s not like anyone can remember what it was like.”

“Sure I can’t. “You felt Daryl’s lips on your shoulder. “Why you thinking all this now?”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh. “It’s just…I guess I felt the baby move and it all came to me.”

“You worried?”

“No, I’m not, it’s not that. Well, a bit, I guess, sometimes. But I’m okay. I just kind of realized how crazy yet amazing this whole ‘having a person inside me’ thing is…it’s natural, I know, but it’s kind of surreal too…kind of weird too…”

Daryl just hummed. “Don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t need to say anything, just my mind thinking weird stuff…” You chuckled. “I’m okay, really.”

“You’re gonna be.” The way in which Daryl said it, his arm strong and protective around you holding you to him, as if he was going to make sure you’d be alright, it made you feel as safe as ever. You didn’t know what you had done to deserve someone like him.

“Daryl…”

“Hmm hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“Sleep, Y/N,” Daryl whispered, and you felt his fingers softly caressing your arm.

“I mean it…most people, well, most people don’t look forward to date a pregnant woman, you know…” Much less to step in and say things like they’d take care of both you and your baby without batting an eye or thinking it twice. “Much less with the baby being, you know-”

“Yours,” Daryl said before you could say Negan’s name. “It’s yours.”

“Yeah, that is, mine,” you smiled, so grateful for Daryl who always stopped you when your mind began to wander to where it shouldn’t. You held his hand, bringing it to your lips to kiss his knuckles. “You’re the best…thank you,” you whispered.

“No reason to be thanking me for nothing…” Daryl murmured, scoffing, but you felt him snuggling to you, making you smile again. “Come on, sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snuggles + Freaking out reader courtesy of me overthinkign stuff.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	21. Chapter 21

It was a task that nobody had wanted to do, but it was past time it got done.

The rooms that had been used to keep people captive and torture them hadn’t been cleaned or emptied, people just walked around those corridors without acknowledging them, but it couldn’t keep going like that forever. After some talk, it was decided that, once cleaned, the rooms would serve to store stuff.

You were helping around, but you kept Daryl on your sight. You saw him looking at the room where you knew he had been kept, his fingers twitching nervously, and you approached him. You knew what he was probably thinking about, and you hated it.

“Hey, see this?” You showed him your notebook. “These are the boxes of stuff we’re going to move here, do you think you could go and start bringing them here?” You knew it wouldn’t keep Daryl away from the rooms for too long, but it was something.

“Okay.” He nodded, frowning at the notebook as he took it from your hand.

Soon he began bringing in the boxes you had told him, but when you went to take one and carry it inside a room, Rosita stopped you.

“Y/N, don’t go lifting shit, you’re pregnant.”

“Seriously? I can’t lift a box that’s not even heavy but Maggie went to fight a war?”

“She wasn’t lifting things.” Rosita shrugged, taking the box herself and you shook your head, snorting, though you stopped trying to lift things and you just began to sort stuff as it was taken out of the boxes.

By the time you finished, there were still empty rooms that would go unused for the time being. There were several rooms and spaces at the Sanctuary without any use, it wasn’t like there were many people left living there, since most of the ex-workers had decided to leave either to Alexandria, the Hilltop, or the Kingdom, leaving mostly Saviors living in there. It wasn’t that tempting to come live there, and you weren’t getting many visits either.

That evening, after dinner, Daryl went back to the garage and you decided to follow him. He hadn’t said anything about the rooms, and you weren’t going to press him, though you hoped he wasn’t keeping anything inside.

“You learning something?” Daryl asked you and you looked at him from the book you were reading.

“Something, mostly theory though, it’s not like I can practice what I read here, or see how it’s actually done…” You let out a sigh. “But it’s something I guess…I wish I had studied to be a doctor instead of a nurse, though, I’d know about so many more things…”

“You’re smart,” Daryl said without looking at you from the bike. “You’ll learn. You already know more stuff than I’d ever learn.”

“Thanks…” You blushed at his unexpected compliment. “But you’re so smart too, like seriously…” You wished he’d see it. “And you are so resourceful and you know how to do so many things. You’re a true survivor.”

“Ain’t that much for surviving if you knock your head, or break something or whatever. You know how to help with that.”

“Guess then we could survive together.”

Daryl gave you a half-smile, stopping what he was doing. He went to pick up something from one of the shelves, and as he approached, you saw it was an old motorbikes book. “Found this the other day.” He opened it and you peeked at one of the pages, finding some instructions and drawings of pieces that didn’t make much sense to you. You guessed it did to Daryl.

He didn’t say anything else and you focused your attention back to your own book, letting your head rest on Daryl’s shoulder as you smiled softly.

*

Something had woken you up, but your brain was still too foggy to process it, and you wondered if it’d been the dim light that was starting to filter inside the room. It usually didn’t bother you. As your mind began to wake, you heard Daryl mumbling and whimpering next to you, still asleep. It wasn’t the first time you woke up to find him having a nightmare, but you hated to see him in distress.

Part of you wanted to wake him up from the bad dream, but you also wanted him to rest, and you reached out to run your fingers through his hair to try and calm him down. Daryl whimpered quietly again, flinching in his dream, and then you felt him waking up with a start, breathing hard and looking around.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it was a nightmare,” you whispered, brushing your knuckles over his cheek. “You’re safe. I’m here. Just a nightmare and nothing else.”

Daryl looked at you, leaning into your touch, his breath calming down. He threw his arm over your middle and snuggled to you, resting his head on your chest, and so you wrapped your arm around him to hold him close and play with his hair.

“Was the dream about the cells we have cleaned?” You ventured to ask, hoping Daryl wouldn’t be upset about it. If he didn’t want to talk, then that was okay too.

“Yeah…” He whispered. “But…it wasn’t Negan, or Dwight, or Saviors who were there doing that to me.”

“Then who?”

“My father…”

You didn’t know what to say. You wished you could take away all Daryl’s painful memories, all his trauma, all the bad stuff he’d had to endure. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve anything like that. “He can’t hurt you now,” was all you could whisper.

“I know…” Daryl mumbled.

“Not him, not anyone, I mean it. Told you I’d take care of you, didn’t I? I got you. Nobody’s going to hurt you while I’m here.” You meant every word, even though you knew you probably couldn’t live up to your word, you couldn’t fight or anything like that, but you’d do all you could to make sure Daryl was alright, you wished you could keep him safe from everything, so the horrible world wouldn’t hurt him anymore.

He scoffed, but when you looked at him you saw his small, half-smile before he buried his face in the crook of your shoulder. “I should be the one telling you that I’d take care of you,” he murmured. “That no one’d hurt you while I’m here.”

“Oh, believe me, I know. I know nothing would hurt me with you here.” You felt Daryl pressing a kiss to your collarbone at your words, and you smiled. You didn’t feel safer anywhere but with him, and you wished you could make him feel safe too.

Soon you both would have to get up and face another day of working at the Sanctuary, but for now, you could enjoy holding Daryl to you, even if just for a little bit longer.

*

Another week came and went. The baby kept moving a few times a day, though still only you could feel them. Big pots and orchards were slowly but surely getting ready at the yard to start planting seeds. Life kept going without any other fight breaking in. That was why, when that late afternoon you walked out of one of the storerooms in which you had been working, and someone grabbed your wrist painfully, holding a knife to your throat, you were so shocked that you couldn’t make a sound.

“Don’t try anything,” a voice threatened you, and the knife pressed against your skin. You began to catch up on what was going on, a quiet whimper escaping your lips, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move. The man pushed you roughly to walk in front of him, knife still against your throat, and you felt as if your lungs were burning when you tried to breathe. “Shut up!” The man demanded when you whimpered again.

You didn’t know what was going on. Was he going to kill you? Why? Was he one of those angry Saviors who had decided he couldn’t take life as it was now anymore? They had been behaving lately…

The man kept pushing you and as you both took a corner he was joined by two men, one was the one who had fought with Daryl and the other was the one who had stopped you in the corridor outside the garage, along with two women, all of them you recognized as Saviors. They all made you walk until you reached the staircase above the main room of the Sanctuary. You heard people gasping as they saw you and you could see their panicked faces, though you could barely focus on anything, your heart beating hard as you shook, terrified.

“What the hell is going on?” You heard Rosita’s voice and then she was approaching, raising her gun, but the man held you in front of him, pressing the knife to your throat.

“You come closer and I slit her throat. You shoot any of us, poor nurse dies.” He threatened, and Rosita glared at him but lowered her gun. “Tell the boss to come. We’re the ones giving orders now.”

Rosita didn’t need to go call Daryl, you could already see him striding into the place, raising his crossbow in front of him, you didn’t think you had ever seen him that angry. All the relief you could feel at seeing him was gone when you felt the knife press harder against your throat.

“Let go of her!” He yelled.

“Then we couldn’t talk.” You felt the Savior shrugging, though the knife didn’t lift.

“Let go of her or I put a bolt into your brain!” Daryl growled.

“Yeah? Before I kill her? Alright, let’s try.” The knife pressed hard enough to draw blood and you whimpered, though it stopped before it was too much.

“If you hurt her I kill you!” You could see Daryl shaking in rage, crossbow aimed at the Savior, but it seemed he didn’t dare to lose the arrow.

“I won’t hurt her, if you listen. She’s a good nurse after all. Seems to have a thing for getting all cozy with new bosses too, that’s welcomed too. We’re going to be the ones giving orders from now on here, as it should, and you and your friends are going to leave the place and never come back.”

“No. You are gonna let her go and you and your friends are gonna leave before I kill you all.”

“I’m afraid I can’t take that deal. But I’ll ask again and I’ll be nicer.” The knife went from your throat to your belly. “I won’t slit her throat, instead I’ll just cut her open, take the baby out, and you should be thanking me, I’d be getting rid of what Negan put in her before you got her.” The Savior chuckled and you whimpered again, terrified as you had ever been.

“Don’t touch her!” Daryl yelled again, and before you knew what was going on, you heard a shot and the Savior that held you dropped dead to the ground. You were in shock, shaking but unable to move. Your eyes were to Daryl, who seemed in shook too, but when another Savior tried to approach you, he loosened the arrow, piercing through the Savior’s chest. You looked at the man as he dropped to the floor, feeling frozen in place.

“Y/N! Get out of the way!” Rosita yelled at you and you finally kicked into motion, rushing away from the rest of the Saviors.

They didn’t seem to want to try anything, though, not with Daryl having his crossbow trained on them and looking about to murder every single one of them, and with Rosita holding them at gunpoint. You realized that the Savior who had been holding you had a bullet hole in his forehead, it must have been Rosita who killed him. More people were stepping in, including other Saviors, who made sure the ones that had taken you couldn’t get away or try anything else.

Daryl rushed to you, looking as panicked as angry, and you couldn’t help your tears as you went to hug him. He didn’t let you, though, holding you at distance so he could examine your neck, and then he turned to Rosita.

“Are you crazy?!” He yelled at her, surprising you, and you jumped a bit. “You could have missed and shot her! Or he could have killed her!”

“What…you’re welcome?!” Rosita snapped, annoyed. “I knew what I was doing! I wasn’t going to miss! What did you want us to do?!” Daryl just glared at her, all badly restrained anger, and Rosita scoffed, nodding to you. “Take her out of here, to her room, she’s traumatized. I’ll deal with this shit.”

Without a word, Daryl turned to you, but again he didn’t hug you as you wished, he just grabbed your wrist and pulled you with him, taking you out of the hall and to the corridor that led to the rooms. You were struggling to keep his pace, but you didn’t want to say anything with him so worked up. Once in your room, Daryl locked the door behind you and you looked at him, wishing nothing more than for him to hold you so you could feel safe, but he didn’t make any move to touch you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to do it either with him looking so angry still.

“Pack your things.”

“What?” You blinked at Daryl, still in shock.

“Pack your things!” Daryl almost yelled and you couldn’t help but flinch. “Told you already, you shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t have brought you. I’m sending you with Maggie.”

“But I wanted to stay here…” You said weakly, intimidated by Daryl’s angry glare.

“Here?! They almost killed you here! You’re going to Hilltop, now.”

“I don’t want to…” You had wanted to stay at the Sanctuary with Daryl and though you had been so scared by what had just happened, it hadn’t changed your mind. Daryl being so angry at you, on the other hand…

“That doesn’t matter!” He snapped. “You’re leaving!”

You bit your lip to try and muffle a whimper as tears fell down your cheeks. You had been so scared and now with Daryl yelling at you, you couldn’t hold it together any longer. You didn’t know what to say to his words and you just looked down, rubbing your eyes and fidgeting anxiously as you tried to calm down. Daryl didn’t say anything, just looked at you, and then he turned around and left the room.

You couldn’t stop your tears. You had never seen Daryl angry like that at you, and it made you feel awful, your anxiety almost making you nauseous. You sat down on the bed, sobbing quietly, until a stab of pain in your neck made you remember the cut and you forced yourself to inspect it in the mirror, but it didn’t seem severe. You cleaned it and applied a band-aid so it wouldn’t get infected. The image of the Saviors grabbing you, pressing the blade to your throat, to your belly, made you break down again.

Still crying, you began to pack your things. You wanted to have it ready when Daryl came back. The idea of leaving, of Daryl not wanting you there, made you sob again, but you tried to stop it. You finished soon, you didn’t have many things, though you’d have to go to the infirmary later to pick some books.

A knock on the door made you jump. “Yeah?”

“It’s Rosita.” You unlocked the door and the woman walked in, frowning as she looked at your face. “You okay?” she asked and you just shrugged. “I came to tell you that we’ve kicked out of here those Saviors, and they won’t be giving us any more trouble. They come back, we kill them. Those were the ones who were always giving us shit, so from now on, there shouldn’t be more trouble.”

“That’s good…” You nodded, you guessed it should make you feel better, but you were just too sad. “Thank you for what you did.”

“It was nothing…you sure you are okay?” She pointed at your bag on the bed. “Are you leaving?”

“Daryl wants me to go to the Hilltop.”

“It makes sense, but do you want to go?”

“I didn’t want to…” You felt like crying again. “But now I’m not so sure…and anyway, Daryl wants me to.”

“Well…I think the Hilltop is a better place for you than this.” Rosita sighed. “But if you don’t want to leave, then nobody can make you.” You shrugged. If Daryl was going to be angry at you, then you rather leave. You didn’t know what you wanted to do. You just feel like crying. “We’ll talk later.” Rosita reached out to squeeze your shoulder.

“Have…have you seen Daryl?” You didn’t know where he had stormed off.

“He got onto his bike, rode away, but I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“Okay…” You didn’t know where he might have gone. Rosita didn’t say anything else, leaving the room, and you went to sit down on the bed, hugging your bag to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow :(
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	22. Chapter 22

When the door opened and Daryl walked in, you were still on the bed, hugging your bag. He looked at you but you looked down, resisting the urge to hide your face on the material of the bag. You were tired and sad, you didn’t want to argue more. Your things were packed, and you would left when Daryl told you. You heard Daryl walking closer and then the bed dipped under his weight as he sat down in front of you.

“Y/N,” he called your name but you didn’t look at him, feeling a lump in your throat. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was like that. I’m sorry I yelled at you like that.”

You looked at Daryl and he held your gaze, and by now you knew how difficult it was for Daryl to do so sometimes. His eyes were sad and remorseful, and you believed he was sorry, but still, you felt bad, no matter you wanted to forgive him.

“Okay,” you whispered, blinking your eyes when you felt tears in them.

“I was a prick, I know. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, yell at you like that. I’m sorry.” Daryl apologized again but you didn’t know what to say, and you just nodded. Daryl didn’t say anything else, fidgeting, and you nudged your bag.

“I packed my things.”

“Do you want to leave?”

“I don’t know…” you said weakly, shrugging. The thing was, Daryl wanted you to leave, and you didn’t feel like being there if he didn’t want you, if he was going to be angry at you, yell at you again.

“I know how I was, what I said. I’m sorry. I’m not going to make you leave if you don’t want to.”

You looked at him at that, he still seemed genuine, but you didn’t know what to do anymore. “I wanted to stay here, with you….but not if you don’t want me to…not if you’re going to be angry…” You decided to be honest and hope for the best.

“I want us to stay together, it’s not that I don’t, but I want you to stay safe.” Daryl reached out as if he were going to hold your hand, but stopped halfway. “I’m not going to be angry with whatever you decide to do. I wasn’t angry at you. I was angry at the Saviors, angry at myself for letting them hurt you, but I know I yelled at you and I was an asshole to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t…” You whispered, you believed Daryl regretted it, you knew he’d been scared, he’d never lashed out at you like that, but you were still shocked about everything that had happened, and it was difficult to stop feeling awful, no matter you didn’t want to blame Daryl.

“You don’t have to decide nothing now. I’ll drive you to the Hilltop whenever you want to, if you want to,” Daryl told you gently, and again you could only nod. He got up from the bed, taking something out of his bag before sitting down in front of you again, reaching out to you. “I…uh…” He stammered and you looked at what he was offering. It was another yellow flower like the one he had left on your pillow. Somehow, it brought tears to your eyes. “Shit…I’m sorry…I-I-” He babbled, seeming lost and confused, even about to panic, and so you took the flower from his hand.

“Thank you.” You gave him a weak smile, getting up from the bed to replace the dried flower in the vase for the new one.

“I really am sorry,” Daryl apologized yet again when you turned to face him.

“I know.”

Daryl reached out and you took his hand, letting him pull you closer to sit down next to him again. He looked at your hand on his, stroking his thumb over the back of your hand. “I’m sorry they hurt you.”

“That wasn’t your fault…” It had been nobody’s fault, you didn’t want Daryl to take the blame as he tended to do.

“I let them…I couldn’t do anything to stop them. And then I yelled at you like that. I’m sorry, Y/N.” He looked at you with sad, guilty eyes. “Do you want me to…I can leave you alone, if you want to,” he offered, still seeming unsure about what to do or how to apologize, but that wasn’t what you needed.

“No…I just…I just want you to hold me…” That was all you had wanted, all you had needed since those Saviors had taken you. Daryl seemed unsure, but then he carefully reached out his arms, tentatively as if he thought you might pull away, but you didn’t, scooting closer and burying your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. Your emotions after everything that had happened were too strong, though, and you couldn’t help but cry again.

“Shit…shit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was like that.”

“It’s not that….” It wasn’t only that, but you didn’t know how to put into words all that you were feeling. “Just…long day…” Was all you could whimper, not wanting to dwell on everything that had happened.

Daryl held you close for a long while, stroking your hair, trying to calm you down as he kept whispering apologies to you from time to time. You let kept yourself snuggled to his chest, slowly feeling safe and protected again as his warmth and comfort enveloped you.

Eventually, you pulled back, though you made sure Daryl kept his arms around you. He still looked at you unsure, as if expecting you’d be angry at him and would push him away, or anything like that. You weren’t mad, though, just still a bit shaken, and you still felt a bit like crying when you thought about Daryl yelling and being angry like that. But you believed he didn’t mean it. You knew he had been so scared, and that he’d been angry at himself. He’d lashed out at you, and it wasn’t okay, but you knew he regretted it, you weren’t going to doubt about forgiving him when he was apologizing. You reached out to brush his hair away from his face and Daryl seemed taken by surprise at first, but then he was closing his eyes and leaning into your touch.

“Where did you go?” You asked softly.

“Nowhere. Just needed to get out of here. Ride.”

You nodded, you knew some times things were too much and he needed space and to cool off. “I don’t like it when you don’t come back before the light goes out,” you said and Daryl just hummed at your words.

“Did you have dinner?”

“I’m good.” You hadn’t even thought about eating, and you were sure your stomach would close if you tried to put something in it, but it seemed Daryl thought different.

“You gotta eat.”

“I don’t feel like it…”

“You can’t go all night without eating something.”

“Fine…” You let out a sigh. You knew he was right. “But if I’m eating, then so are you.”

“I’ll go get you something.”

Reluctantly, you let Daryl go, scooting to sit up against the headboard and watching him go. As he closed the door behind him, your apprehension was back, you couldn’t help it. You tried not to let anxiety creep into you. Everything was okay, Daryl wasn’t angry and the Saviors were gone, sent away. Nothing like that was going to happen again. There were more Saviors in there, sure, but those were different, you had seen them trying to stop the ones that attacked you, going to help you. The bad, or at least worse, ones were gone. You were in your room, door locked. You were safe. Everything was going to be okay.

Despite repeating yourself those words again and again, you took a relieved breath once Daryl was finally back and you weren’t alone, his presence bringing you that feeling of safety. You knew he was beating himself, that he thought he’d failed you, that he hadn’t kept you safe, and you wished you could show him how it made no sense, how protected you felt when you were with him.

Daryl had brought with him a big bowl of stew, something that hopefully wouldn’t upset your stomach and that you’d be able to eat, despite the mild anxiety that clenched your belly. He sat down next to you and passed you one of the spoons he’d brought, and you both ate in silence, though you noticed Daryl giving you worried glances here and there.

When you finished, Daryl reached out to leave the empty bowl on the makeshift bedside table and you took his arm to wrap it around you, snuggling yourself to him again and smiling softly when he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Rosita came, she said those Saviors have been sent away,” you told him, and you felt Daryl stiff.

“Should have killed them,” he growled.

“No need to, they’re gone,” you tried to assure him. “They know they’re dead if they come back.” Daryl just hummed and you pulled back to kiss his cheek. Daryl seemed surprised but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “It’s getting late.” You leaned down on the bed, pulling at Daryl so he’d lie down with you and then turning so you back was to him, snuggling back until you hit his chest and Daryl wrapped his arm around you, holding you firmly to him and curling up around you, making you feel as if you were protected in a safe cocoon.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Stop it.” You placed your hand on top of his over your belly, lacing your fingers. “You’ve said it enough.”

“I was scared…I…I thought….I…” he stammered and you shushed him, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles.

“Stop,” you whispered again. “It’s over. We’re okay. We’re going to be okay.”

Daryl didn’t say anything else, but you were sure worried thoughts were still plaguing his mind, but he just snuggled to you even more, helping you relax, and before you knew it, you were asleep.

When you woke up next morning, Daryl was still holding you, thought you had turned in your sleep and buried your face on his chest. You pulled back slightly to look at Daryl and he was awake too, stroking your arm softly. You wondered if he had slept at all but you decided not to ask, letting him be at least for the day.

“Good morning,” you said as you reached out to brush your knuckles over his cheek.

“Morning,” he rasped.

“You okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that.”

“I’m okay,” you said with as much confidence as you could muster. “Will be.” You pecked his lip, smiling when Daryl rested his forehead on yours before pulling away again. “Come have breakfast with me?”

Daryl nodded, allowing you to pull back and sit up on the bed. Your eyes landed on the yellow flower, and even though it brought memories of the day before, it also made you smile, feeling again butterflies in your belly at the idea of Daryl bringing you flowers. You grinned at Daryl as he got up too, making him smile. He still looked worried, guilty even, but it seemed as if your smile made him feel better. You hoped so.

*

During the next days and despite the fact that the Saviors that attacked you had been sent away, you couldn’t help but be tense and anxious, almost waiting for the worst to happen again. It didn’t, though, as if the Saviors had learned a lesson and didn’t want to risk it again. There were quite a few nasty ones, but they weren’t hurting anyone or trying to get the power, just dropping the usual nasty comments here and there. The worse thing was when someone painted a message in a wall calling for Negan’s come back. It was the second time it happened during the time you had been at the Sanctuary, and even though Daryl and Rosita questioned everyone, nobody seemed to know nothing. It unsettled you, but it couldn’t really hurt you. Rick kept assuring through walkie that Negan was well locked, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

All those days, Daryl kept looking at you as if he were half-expecting you’d snap at him or be upset, still treat you carefully and hesitant, and you didn’t know what to do, though as days passed, he began to relax again. Still, he’d spend more time with you when he could, and when he worked on the garage and you were free to join him, he’d stop what he was doing to sit down with you to read the bikes and cars manuals while you studied your own thing, or he’d try and explain to you what he was doing and working on. You didn’t understand it much, but you appreciated it, and you liked to watch him work on something he liked.

He still needed to get out of the place sometimes, for a couple of hours at least, going out hunting or riding to a run, and whenever he came back, he always brought something for you. It’d usually be a flower, but sometimes he found other things, like a trinket you might like or any sweet or treat food that you didn’t have in the Sanctuary. Every time he did something like that, or checked on you, kissed you casually or caressed your arm when he walked past you, butterflies would dance in your belly, mixing with the sort of bubbles that you felt whenever the baby moved, more and more each day.

And so time flew, and before you knew it, you had reached the third trimester of your pregnancy and your belly was getting fuller, not a cute bump any more but an actual pregnant looking one. You knew it’d get bigger, but still sometimes, when you laid on your back on the bed against some cushions, your big belly made you imagine yourself as an upside-down turtle. You had said that aloud one day when Daryl was around and it’d seemed to amuse him, and so now every time you thought he was feeling down, you’d do your best turtle impression.

It was during one of those moments, with you lying against some pillows, half-buried in them and wiggling your arms sillily as you pretended you couldn’t turn around, laughing like an idiot while Daryl watched your antics from the other side of the bed with an amused smirk on his face, when you felt the baby moving stronger than you had ever felt.

It surprised you enough to stop moving and laughing, and Daryl was sitting up and looking over you with concern in a second. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong…” You placed a hand on your belly which just seemed to alarm Daryl even more and you rushed to explain yourself. “It’s fine, just the baby moving, but damn, those were some strong butterflies, like…like I’m pretty sure that was a kick!”

“Yeah?” Daryl still seemed worried, but also curious.

“Yes, it was…it was weird…” Still, you hoped the baby would do it again soon, but you waited and nothing happened. “Come on, don’t let me down now…” You murmured, and you began pocking your belly, which made Daryl snort.

“They ain’t even out and you already bugging them?” He asked you, smirking, and you were glad he was back at looking amused instead of worried.

“I’m not bugging them,” you said as you kept poking your belly randomly. “We’re just speaking and…holy shit!” There it was again, pretty much what felt like a kick. “You gotta see this.” You grabbed Daryl’s hand, placing it on your belly and then you began poking again until there was another kick. “See!”

Daryl pulled his hand away as the baby kicked, seeming surprised, blue eyes wide as he looked at you, and you couldn’t help your smile. Daryl lowered his hand again, a smile of his own tugging at his lips, though the baby didn’t kick again, seeming done with you even though you tried poking your belly again. You removed some of the cushions to lie down more comfortably on the pillows and Daryl snuggled to you, arm over your belly and head resting on your chest.

“I’m gonna have so much fun bugging them from not on” You murmured, smiling when you heard Daryl chuckling.

*

You yawned as you got out of the car where you had been dozing off. The day before you had gone to the Hilltop in order to do an ultrasound to both Maggie and you, and to check that everything was okay. You had had to sleep there, and you had returned to the Sanctuary early in the morning. As soon as Daryl spotted you, he made his way to you, he had had to stay at the Sanctuary and you knew he wished he could have gone with you.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, yawning again. “It looks like all’s good. I’m gonna take a nap…couldn’t sleep well without you next to me…” Daryl snorted, but he smiled bashfully as he walked you to your room. “Almost had to tell Maggie to come and cuddle me,” you joked.

“How’s she?”

“Good too, with a baby bump of her own now too.”

As soon as you reached your bedroom, you dropped your bag on top of the bed, you following it turtle mood. Blindly, you reached out to rummage inside your bag until you found a print of the ultrasound that you could give to Daryl.

“Here.”

“It looks like a baby…” Daryl sounded so surprised that you couldn’t help your snort

“It is a baby. But yeah, no more weird looking bean, that’s a real baby in there. I’m trying not to freak out at the idea of actually having a real small human being inside me…it’s just so weird. A human being that’s going to want to crawl out of me in not that long…”

“Can you know when?”

“No, you can’t really know that.”

“Maybe…maybe you should have stayed at the Hilltop.”

You groaned, looking at Daryl who was frowning in thought. “Daryl. Don’t start with that.”

“You think this place is the best to drop a baby?”

“First, I’m not ‘dropping a baby’ for at the very least one month, probably a bit more. Second, yes, I’m pretty sure I can do it here too.”

“But you got all the equipment and all that at the Hilltop…” Daryl was still frowning.

“I was hoping to not have to use anything of that…” The baby seemed okay, you expected not to have problems during the delivery, and at any rate you were a nurse and the Sanctuay had a well-equipped infirmary. Still, you knew the Hilltop was indeed a better place, but you weren’t really eager to go and probably leave Daryl behind. He didn’t say anything else, just chewed on his thumbnail, and you let out a sigh. “Okay. What if I move to the Hilltop when I feel I’m close?”

It looked as if Daryl would rather have you going already, but he nodded. “Okay.”

“Will you…will you come with me?” You bit your lip, feeling weak. You knew it wasn’t up to Daryl, not really, not only him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. He let out a sigh, lying down next to you on the bed.

“You know I want to. I’ll try.”

You gave him a small, grateful smile, moving closer to kiss his lips and smiling when Daryl kissed you back, knuckles stroking your cheek, before snuggling to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…this was just fluff!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


	23. Chapter 23

Days passed slowly, but eventually, you left the Sanctuary, moving to the Hilltop. You still weren’t sure when the baby was coming, but you were starting to feel antsy more often than not, as if your body couldn’t wait to deliver. You had thought you couldn’t get much bigger, but you did, and yet you felt the baby moving as if they were feeling tight in there, hitting you in all the wrong ways. You felt big, clumsy and uncomfortable, which turned into feeling grumpy quite a few times a day, but you tried not to snap at the people who checked on you, much less at Daryl. He eyed you sometimes as if you were about to drop a bomb and you tried to ignore it, though as days passed, more and more people looked at you that way, and you had to bit your tongue every time they did. There were other moments in which you didn’t feel bad at all, but still, you knew it was time to go.

Daryl was driving you, leaving Rosita taking over the Sanctuary for a day or two after speaking to Rick. You had suggested going on his bike just to mess with him, snorting when he looked at you as if you were crazy before you made your way to the car, Daryl carrying your bag.

Once at the Hilltop, Maggie came to greet you, hugging you both, followed by Jesus and Enid, and you had to admit that there you felt more at home than you had ever felt at the Sanctuary, even though you hadn’t lived at Hilltop for that long.

Some of the wives who had been with you at the Sanctuary were now living at the Hilltop, and they seemed glad to see you too, though you could see something dark pass through the eyes of some of them when they eyed your big belly. You knew where their thoughts went, the place where you always tried to stop yours from going. You knew they didn’t mean anything bad, they couldn’t help it, after all they had gone through.

The day passed nicely, talking and walking through the orchards that Maggie had created, listening to her plans. You felt better and better, and even Daryl looked more relaxed. It was good for him, being out of that place he hated, back with family and friends. You wished you both could just stay there with Maggie forever, but you had heard Daryl and Rick talking through the walkie and you knew he was going back to the Sanctuary the next day, which made you feel a lump in your throat.

That night you stayed in your old trailer, feeling transported to the day you were there for the first time and realizing how much you had begun to think of Hilltop and that trailer as your home back then. The Sanctuary had never felt like home. You snuggled to Daryl, not talking much but enjoying each other presence, knowing that after that night you wouldn’t see each other in some time.

Morning came, and you knew Daryl had to leave but still, when you had to say goodbye, you felt teary-eyed. You tried to stop it, knowing that it hurt Daryl to see you sad like that, but you couldn’t help it. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to him and stroking your hair as you buried your face onto his chest.

“I’ll come back to see you as often as I can, okay? You’ll be good here with Maggie,” he said and you nodded. He pulled back, staring at you and chewing on his lower lip and you frowned, wondering what was he thinking. “I love you,” he whispered.

You felt your heart skipping a beat, butterflies dancing in your belly like the first time. You hadn’t expected that, and a silly grin spread across your face, making Daryl smile shyly. “I love you too.” Daryl didn’t say anything else, just smiled, pulling you closer again to kiss your lips.

*

True to his word, Daryl came back to see you once or twice a week, not matter Maggie had told him she’d tell him by walkie if the baby was coming, though he always had to come back to the Sanctuary the next day or even the same. It seemed the baby was being lazy, or stubborn, or both, because you kept feeling big, uncomfortable and antsy but they weren’t coming out.

Almost three weeks had passed since you moved to the Hilltop, when you had an unexpected visitor. Carol, whom you knew was one of Daryl’s best friends, arrived. She wanted to check on Maggie, and also you since she’d been told you were there at the end of your pregnancy, and from there she’d head to the Sanctuary to visit Daryl. You liked that, you knew Daryl’d appreciate it and it’d made his day happier.

“So…how are you doing?” she asked you.

“Good I guess…” You let out a sigh. “Can’t wait for the baby to come, it’s past time, I just feel so tired by now, but then I realize that when they come out I’m going to have an actual real human baby and I kind of panic a bit again.”

Carol laughed softly, looking at you with sympathy. “It’ll be good, you’ll see. Don’t worry too much.”

“I miss Daryl…” You admitted and Carol reached out to squeeze your shoulder.

“The Sanctuary keeps him busy I guess.”

“Yeah…Rick wants him there keeping order, which I don’t think it’s fair, but it’s not like there are many volunteers to lead that shit place…” You let out a tired sigh.

“I’ll go there and talk to him tomorrow.”

“He’ll appreciate it.”

A couple of days after your chat with Carol, you heard the rumble of Daryl’s bike as he rode into Hilltop, giving you the butterflies as always and you approached him, grinning, and wrapping your arms around him as soon as you reached him.

“You okay?” Daryl asked you and you nodded. “The baby still doesn’t want to come out?”

“Can you blame them? Going headfirst into a world full of monsters? Small wonder they don’t want to get out.” You half-joked bitterly and Daryl didn’t say anything, just looked at you with sad eyes, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead. “Are you staying for the night?” You asked, nodding at Daryl’s bag hopefully.

“For a couple of days at least,” Daryl said, surprising you. “Carol came, said she’d take over the Sanctuary for a few days so I could stay here. Didn’t let me argue.”

You felt a wave of emotion and gratefulness going through you at Daryl’s words. “That’s…I have to thank her a thousand times.” Daryl just hummed, nodding and giving you half a smile. “Come on, let’s tell Maggie, she’s gonna be so happy too!”

After Daryl’s arrival, days passed by on a blur, with Carol giving word through walkie to not try to come back until at least a couple of weeks. You knew Daryl was feeling guilty about it, and you also felt guilty that Carol had to deal with the Sanctuary now and be away from the Kingdom, but you felt grateful too, and you wanted Daryl there with you.

It was almost another three or four days after Daryl came that you finally went into labor. You didn’t know how many hours passed until you finally delivered the baby, you weren’t sure, having lost count as if it all were a hazy dream. Those first moments with your new baby boy, of him meeting Daryl, Maggie, Jesus, and Enid, also felt hazy and blurry.

When you finally began to feel a bit more like yourself, you were sat down on the bed, propped against the headboard with some pillows, holding the baby. You stared at him, and the baby seemed to stare back. It was real. You had real human baby…quite a cute one, but you felt yourself panic a bit.

“You okay?” Daryl asked you, sat down at the other end of the bed, looking over you, as if he seemed to notice a change on your face.

“Yeah…yeah just…like…look at this. He’s an actual real human being in miniature. Go figure.”

Daryl snorted. “You’re back with that?”

“I can’t help it, okay, I made a damn real human baby and now here he is, in the real world, like, thinking his baby thoughts and whatnot. How crazy is it.” Daryl smirked, shaking his head and reaching out to kiss your forehead before brushing his fingertip ever so softly over the baby’s cheek, who looked at him. “Is he really cute or it’s just me?”

“He’s really cute.”

You chewed on your lip, a thought suddenly coming to your mind, souring your mood, though you were afraid of voicing it, in case it might upset Daryl. “You think…do you think…do you think he looks like…like him?” You didn’t want to say Negan’s name, you didn’t want to see his features in your baby, the idea making you feel a lump in your throat.

“All babies look the same to me.” Was Daryl’s answer, shrugging, and you snorted, the lump in your throat going away though a couple of tears reached your eyes.

“Yeah, they do, don’t they?” You nodded, giving Daryl a tearful but grateful smile. “But I think this one is particularly cute, not that I want to give myself any credit.”

Daryl chuckled, shifting closer and carefully wrapping an arm around you. You snuggled closer, letting out a content hum.

“Have I told you how grateful I am for you?” You asked him. “ ‘Cause I am, for everything you had been doing for me. Thank you, Daryl.”

“No need to go thanking me for nothing,” Daryl murmured. He looked shy, a bit awkward even, but you kept going, you wanted him to know.

“I’m lucky I got you. Me and this baby, we’re pretty lucky to have you. You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

“Stop it, come on…”

“Okay…but I love you a lot, Daryl.” You grinned at him, misty-eyed again even though all you could feel at that moment was love and gratefulness. You got the cutest baby ever, who made you feel all kind of mussy things when you looked at him, and you got the best-hearted man you had ever known, who gave you the butterflies and made your heart beat faster no matter what. You felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

“And I love you too…” Daryl whispered, and you barely caught a glimpse of his blushed cheeks before he hid his face, nuzzling into your hair.

“Can you believe that I’ve got this baby in my belly for like nine months and still he doesn’t have a name yet?” You observed, smiling when you felt Daryl chuckling.

“You’ll come up with something.”

“Think I might make a poll around the Hilltop…your vote counts double, so you know…” You felt Daryl chuckle again before he kissed the top of your head and you closed your eyes with a content sigh, holding the baby to you as you snuggled in Daryl’s arms.

*

Days passed and you began to adapt to your new life, though sometimes, when you looked at the baby, those thoughts of panic and bewilder at the idea of having a real tiny human being under your care, your own tiny human no less, came back. Whenever you voiced those words, though, Daryl would shake his head or snort, wrapping his arm around you to pull you close or holding the baby himself as you went off about how surreal it all was.

You chose your baby boy’s name in the most random way possible. You only knew you didn’t want him to be called after any one of the people that you or anyone else in Hilltop had lost, which wasn’t easy considering how many people you all had lost. And so one day, tired of calling him “baby”, you picked a book and with your eyes closed, you opened a page and pointed at random words until your finger fell on the name “Max,” and since no one seemed to think it was an awful name, that was how your baby was called.

After about two weeks that seemed to fly, you woke up one morning and found Daryl already awake, sat down against the headboard coddling the baby, who was awake too. A big smile spread across your face. Those days had proven to you what you had already suspected, that Daryl was great with kids and would be wonderful with yours. It gave you all kind of feelings every time you saw him and the baby together. He was such a natural, and both him and the baby seemed to get along so nicely…you felt as if your heart might burst of love.

“Good morning, handsome two.”

“Morning,” Daryl gave you a half-smile, reaching out to stroke your cheek, but he looked thoughtful and you frowned, worried.

“There’s something wrong?”

“No, just…” The baby was getting fussy now that he noticed you awake and Daryl passed him to you, where he helped himself to breakfast. “Nothing’s wrong…but Carol’s been at the Sanctuary for more than three weeks now, and it ain’t like I want to come back but it ain’t fair for her. The place…you know how it is. And she got the King and the kid waiting at the Kingdom.”

“Yeah…” You nodded. You knew Daryl was right, Carol had done enough, but the idea of going back to the Sanctuary made you want to cry. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, just…” You let out a sigh. “I really don’t want to go back.”

“Don’t. You shouldn’t. That ain’t place for a baby, you know it, Y/N. You should stay here, at the Hilltop. Max would be better here. Both of you.”

You bit your lip. You knew Daryl was right, even your heart agreed with your brain on that. You didn’t want to bring your baby to the Sanctuary, something primal inside you felt revolted at the idea. But you didn’t want Daryl to leave you both. “I don’t want to be without you…” You whimpered.

“And I don’t want it either,” Daryl sighed, wrapping his arm around you. “But it’ll be okay. You both are gonna be good here, and I’m gonna come visit, okay?”

“You shouldn’t have to go back.” You shook your head. “Rick should send someone else, or go himself if he wants someone leading that place so bad, it’s not fair.”

“I’ll talk with him…but he’s busy and I don’t think he’s planning on sending someone else…”

“It’s not fair.”

“It is what it is.”

*

Daryl left the next day, even though you had heard him arguing with Carol through walkie about it. It was early in the morning and you were watching how Daryl strapped his bag to the bike, Max asleep in the soft scarf with which you carried him snuggled to you. You were trying not to cry, but you couldn’t stop the couple of tears that escaped your eyes.

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” Daryl reached out to brush your tears away, and you knew he was feeling guilty and also sad himself, you hated making feel like that, but you couldn’t help yourself. “I’ll come visit you soon, okay?” You nodded, tearful but trying to smile, trying to make Daryl feel better. “You’ll be good with Maggie.”

“You be careful in there…” Things weren’t as bad as once had been at the Sanctuary, but you still didn’t like the idea of Daryl being there.

Daryl nodded. He pecked down at the baby and reached a finger to ever so softly stroke his cheek, careful not to wake him, and you felt that horrible lump in your throat again. Then Daryl cupped your face and kissed your lips softly. When he pulled back, though, you still weren’t ready to let him go, fisting his shirt and pulling him closer, mindful of the baby, to kiss him again.

“Gotta go…” Daryl murmured regretfully when your lips parted, resting his forehead on yours. You could only nod, allowing him to pull back, watching him as he got onto the bike, giving you a last sad glance before he rode away.

You didn’t move until you couldn’t see Daryl any longer, and then you turned around to make your way back to the trailers. Maggie had been watching you both from distance and now she made his way to you, holding you and walking with you as tears began falling down your eyes.

“It’s okay, Y/N, I got you.” She soothed. “You’re going to be okay. He’ll be back soon yeah? We’ll think on something, we’ll fix Rick’s mess.” You knew Maggie was still annoyed about the Negan thing, and that she held it against Rick, but you liked that she also seemed to think it wasn’t fair for Daryl to have to be at the Sanctuary. “It’s going to be okay.”

You nodded, trying to believe her words, even though you were still sniffing and unable to stop your tears. You got Maggie, and also Jesus and Enid, and the wives who had been with you at the Sanctuary, you had friends and you weren’t alone, and for that you were grateful. But you could only wish you’d still have Daryl by your side too. Your only hope now was that he could come to visit soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…there was a baby…there was fluff…and then there was sadness. What did you think?
> 
> Only what chapter left, I honestly can’t wait for this story to finish, I feel like it doesn’t have much quality and I lost quite some readers since I began posting it. Thank you for sticking with me to all of you who did. I’ve already written stuff for after christmas that I hope you all like.
> 
> I wanted to ask if you want me to keep posting on mondays, or if there’s any other day you prefer, because I really don’t care.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, those really make my day when I’m feeling insecure about this fic, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.
> 
> If you want to be (un)tagged let me know.


	24. Chapter 24

Days passed and Daryl seemed unable to have a break and came visit, though he checked on you daily through walkie. There had been a problem with the crops which had created some heated arguments that needed to be calmed down, and then everyone had to work hard on the orchards again.

You knew, deep down, that Daryl was right. Nothing would grow in the concrete floors of a factory, and the Saviors weren’t farmers, they weren’t even workers. They were used to just reach their hand and take what they wanted by force. The place was doomed, you couldn’t think otherwise. You just didn’t want Daryl, and Rosita, and everyone else, to fall with it.

One dull day followed another. Looking at your baby made you smile and filled you with love, making the loneliness feel more bearable, most of your day and focus went on taking care of Max, but still, there was that sharp pain in your heart when your mind drifted to Daryl, which seemed to do every so often. You had Maggie’s friendship to make the days less sad too, talking with her and helping her around. When you had free time, you studied or worked as a nurse, anything to keep your mind occupied and away from missing Daryl.

Still, no matter what, you couldn’t help the way in which you missed him terribly. You worried about him too, alone at the Sanctuary…was he doing okay? Had there been any trouble? Was he sleeping or did he had nightmares, memories coming to haunt him at night as they did to you? Little more than a week had passed since Daryl left and you still found it difficult to sleep now without him. You were able to talk to him through walkie, even if it was just for a couple of minutes, and every time you asked he told you he was okay, and you knew he would say it even if it wasn’t true, so you wouldn’t worry.

That morning, you were feeding Max when a car drove into the Hilltop, and you frowned looking at it. It wasn’t Carol’s, neither did it come from the Sanctuary.

“It’s Rick and Michonne,” Maggie explained, approaching when she saw you frowning. “Said by walkie that they’re going to the Sanctuary, routinary check, and that they’d come to visit first.”

“Guess it’s easy to find someone to be in charge of Alexandria for a couple of days so they can go on vacation, but impossible for the Sanctuary,” you said bitterly, more bitter than you had realized you were. Maggie didn’t say anything but reached out to squeeze your shoulder gently, and then she went to welcome Michonne and Rick.

Maggie was due in a week or two, and so it seemed Michonne and Rick wanted to see her and check on her since they were close, see how she was doing.

“Who knows, maybe when we are back in a couple of days, you got the baby already and we can meet them,” Rick said with a friendly smile, though you could see some tension between Maggie and him. You knew they were family despite everything, though, but you still couldn’t help but feel irritated at Rick and some of his decisions, though you tried to keep it down.

“Have you thought a name yet?” Michonne asked.

“Hershel, if it’s a boy. Beth, if it’s a girl.” Maggie answered, and you felt the sadness that for a moment fell over the three of them at the mention of the people they had lost, those who you hadn’t known, but Maggie and Daryl both had told you about them, and you were sad such good people were gone, and how their losses had hurt the people that now you loved. “Or I could just grab a book and choose the first name I see, like her.” She nodded towards you, lighting the mood, and you snorted.

“It wasn’t exactly like that…”

Michonne seemed amused, and she smiled at you. “We got word you had your baby already and everything went well, a boy right?”

“Yeah, Max. We’re both good…well…missing Daryl, you know, since it seems he can’t have free time to be here with us…” It seemed like no one knew what to say to that, you had said more than you meant to, but then Rick spoke again as if trying to keep the situation from going out of hand.

“We all are busy, there’s a world to rebuild, but we’re happy we’ve been able to meet Max too, since we’re here,” He said, nodding at the baby that was snuggled to you on his carrier. It was a friendly thing to say, but it seemed your irritation took the best of you.

“Why? So you could see if he looks like the man you keep in your basement?” You snapped, not even yourself knew where it came from. Everyone blinked at you, surprised, and you didn’t know what to do, but you weren’t going to take it back. It seemed no one knew what to say or do either, and then Maggie tried changing the topic again.

“And how’s Judith? I haven’t seen her in so long.”

“She’s great, you should come see her, she’s always asking for her aunt Maggie,” Rick answered, though he was still eyeing you as if surveying you, which just irritated you more.

“Why won’t you bring her with you then? Let her go and stroll around the Sanctuary? Or it’s that you know that place’s hell, and not a place for a kid?” You snapped again, couldn’t stop yourself. “Or maybe just not for your kid? Yeah, why don’t you go and move with your family to that shitplace? Isn’t it good? For all families but yours?”

All eyes went to you at your outburst, making you feel self-conscious, you couldn’t help it, anxiety creeping into you at the way in which Rick was looking at you, seeming taken aback but also annoyed. Nobody was saying anything, they seemed to not know what to say, and you excused yourself. “I gotta go.” You murmured, and then you made your way to your trailer, locking yourself in.

You hadn’t meant to say all that, to throw it to Rick’s face, to sound so bitter, but you couldn’t help it. You thought all those things. You should speak your mind…though maybe you could have tried being more diplomatic. But you couldn’t help the way in which all that made you feel.

Some hours had passed, when you heard a knock on your door, and when you opened it, you found Michonne. “Can we speak?” You shrugged but stepped to the side, letting her walk in. Max was on the bed and you sat down on the sofa, Michonne sitting at the other end. “You really don’t like us…”

“It’s not that…” You said weakly. You knew they were good people. They’d been kind. But you disagreed too much with Rick, he didn’t owe you anything so you couldn’t demand anything, but you thought he wasn’t being the best friend to Daryl, even if Rick didn’t mean it.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Negan, for starters. Rick shouldn’t have taken that decision alone, ignoring everyone who that bastard hurt. Aren’t you supposed to be a democracy or whatever?” You weren’t quite sure of that, but you had heard the word here and there. “Then where’s the vote to decide what it’s done to Negan? Rick just went and did as he pleased, ignored us all.”

“Come on, it wasn’t like that. We decided it was best to keep him alive and locked…”

“We?” You snapped. “Him. Rick. Nobody else.”

“I agree…”

“Yeah, well, of course you do, you’re Rick’s woman.” You rolled your eyes.

“More people do. Y/N, he’s locked, he’s suffering like that, seeing the world we’re creating but being unable to do anything. Powerless. Seeing how he lost. No need to kill him.” It did sound like awful torture for a man like him, but still, something primal in you wanted him dead. You didn’t know how to explain to Michonne the ways he’d hurt your soul. You didn’t know how to explain to her how you still had nightmares in which he broke free, killed everyone and then came for you and the baby.

“He’s not getting out of there. Never. I promise you that,” Michonne assured you, serious and genuine, as if she could feel some of the worries that were going through your mind.

“Daryl…”

“What with him?”

“It’s not fair that he has to be at the Sanctuary. Rick’s been cruel to him.”

“Now that’s not true. Rick and Daryl are like brothers. Rick loves him.”

“I’m not saying he doesn’t…” You shrugged. “But it’s cruel to send someone to the place where he was tortured, and Daryl doesn’t want to be there.”

“He agreed…” Michonne was sounding unsure, though, and you wondered if she had thought about it too.

“Cos he loves Rick! He’s not gonna say no to him if he needs him!” You stated as if it were obvious. “And cos he wants to help his people, whatever means necessary, he puts the others’ needs over his which is…it makes him the great man he is, but it can be frustrating too…” You loved how his heart made him take care of people, but you wished he’d take care of himself a bit more too.

“Yeah, he’s like that, I know what you mean.” Michonne nodded with a fond smile. “He was one of my first friends, back when I found Rick’s group. We spent some time together, looking for the man who had attacked us, just Daryl and me. We got talking…ended up knowing each other well.”

“Then you know him, you know it. You can understand how the Sanctuary is not good for him.” You could see she really cared for Daryl. “He’s traumatized. He went through hell in that place. He has nightmares, and the memories…” You shook your head, letting out a sad sigh. “Besides, that place? I know what you and Rick think, but it’s not going to work. It’s a hellhole. You’ll see it yourself. Besides…it’s no place for kids, much less for babies, so I can’t go there with Max…and honestly, I hated living there anyway, I hate that place…I got my own nightmares and memories too…”

“Hey…you know Negan’s never going to get close to Max, right? We won’t let it happen,” Michonne assure you again, and you just shrugged. “He’s not getting out of that cell. Those nightmares are never getting real.”

“I hate that place and living there anyway, but I’d do it for Daryl. But a baby…that’s no place for Max. I can’t make him live there, no when there’s a place like this where he can grow…So I’m here but Daryl’s at the Sanctuary, and I miss him, and I don’t know how he’s doing but I know he’s miserable and I can’t do anything…” You felt a lump in your throat and you rubbed your wet eyes.

Michonne let out a long sigh, leaning back on the sofa. “Okay…okay, I’ll talk to Rick…” You looked at her, not daring to have much hope. “He loves Daryl, he does, just like I do. But there’s so much to do now, everything’s so complicated, and he needs someone strong to lead the Sanctuary, someone he can’t trust. That sounded like Daryl.”

“It does…but it hurts Daryl…”

“I’ll think something…and I’ll talk to Rick…”

“Okay…” You didn’t know what to expect, and you didn’t have much hope.

“You really care for him, don’t you?” Michonne asked with a soft smile.

“Yeah…” You shrugged, looking down as you blushed. “And I love him,” you added quietly.

“Daryl deserves it,” Michonne got up, still smiling softly. “I’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay…” You didn’t know what to say, feeling a bit awkward now. “See you.”

Next day, Max woke you up early in the morning. You didn’t even get up to feed him, letting him sort himself as you kept him snuggled to your chest, feeling tired and lazy after a night of bad dreams. He still was fussy after breakfast and so you wrapped him in the scarf and went out for a walk. You saw Michonne and Rick talking to Maggie before they got into the car and drove away,

Maggie spotted you and walked to you. “Come have breakfast with me?” You nodded, following her into the house and sitting down with her and Enid. “So…Michonne went to talk to you yesterday?”

“Yeah…” You fidgeted, self-conscious. “I’m sorry if I caused trouble speaking like that.”

“What? No. Everyone should be free to speak their mind. It was kind of shocking to see you snapping like that…” Maggie snorted. “But I liked it. What you said was right, more or less…”

“Michonne said she’ll talk to Rick, about Daryl leading the Sanctuary…”

“That’s good. If someone can talk sense into Rick, that’s her. I mean…” Maggie let out a sigh. “I love Rick, I do. He’s family. But it seems I can’t agree with him on nothing lately…guess that happens with family too…”

“Yeah…” You didn’t know what else to say, and Maggie just gave you a sad smile, falling silent too.

A couple of days passed in the same dull way the previous ones did, until one afternoon when you were studying in one of the picnic tables, Max strapped to you with the carrier, you heard the rumble of a bike. You dropped your book on the table, getting up and rushing to the gates fast but trying not to wiggle the baby too much.

The gates opened and Daryl rode in. You grinned, your heart batting fast, more than happy at him finally visiting. You reached him as he dismounted and you wrapped your arms around him to hold him before saying anything.

“Careful there…” Daryl murmured, chuckling, as he made sure not to squeeze the baby, but he wrapped his arms around you too. He lifted a hand to brush his fingers over your cheekbone and you smiled at him before leaning in and kissing his lips. “You okay?” He asked you when your lips parted.

“I’m good. Better now that you could come.” You grinned. “Do you have to leave today? Can you stay for the night?”

“I don’t have to leave, it seems…” Daryl frowned thoughtfully.

“What?” You stared at him, not daring to have much hope.

“I’m not sure, just…Rick and Michonne came…and I don’t know, Rick came to talk to me. Said I don’t have to be there if I don’t want to, that he’ll find someone else…” Daryl was still frowning, but you couldn’t help your smile. You couldn’t believe Rick had actually listened to it. “And I don’t know…if he needs me there then I want to help. But I got thinking about you, here alone with the baby…and I wanted to come back…and I missed you, I wanted to be here with you both…” He added in a whisper, blushing.

Butterflies swirled in your stomach at his words, your grin going even wider, and you pulled him closer to kiss him again before looking at him with bright eyes. “That’s the best news I could have.” Daryl gave you half a smile and then he looked down at the baby snuggled to you.

“Hi, there.” He brushed a finger over his tiny baby’s cheek softly. The baby blinked at him, reaching out a tiny hand to grab the finger, making Daryl smile wider, and you felt as if your heart had melted. “Does he look bigger?”

“I don’t know maybe? But you saw him less than two weeks ago…” You chuckled. It had felt like so much more than just two weeks. “Come on, let’s tell Maggie and the others that you are coming back.” You really needed to thank Michonne the next time you saw her. “She’s even bigger, you’ll see, I think that baby is coming in like one week, you’ll see.”

Daryl smiled, kissing your forehead and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him as you both walked to the house.

*

That evening, you couldn’t be happier about having Daryl with you on the bed again. You were lying against the pillows, reading a book and smiling every time you peeked at Daryl. He was sat up, leaning against the headboard, Max snuggled on his arms. Once the baby had fallen asleep, you reached out your arms for Daryl to pass him to you carefully.

You didn’t have a crib, instead, when Max was born Daryl had attached a smaller bed to yours, between the side where you slept and the wall, for the baby to sleep near you. You fluffed his little cushion and lied him down, careful not to wake him. Once you were sure Max was comfortable and still sleeping, you shifted closer to Daryl.

He lied down on the bed so you could snuggle to him and you let out a content hum, closing your eyes as you rest your head on his chest, and Daryl wrapped an arm around you. “I missed you…” You murmured.

“I missed you too…” Daryl whispered and he began to stroke your hair. “I know Michonne and Rick came here before going the Sanctuary. Told me they saw you and Max.” You hummed…you weren’t sure if maybe they had told him you had snapped at them… “Did you…did you say something to Rick? That’s why he was like that with me?”

“Not really…” You chewed on your lower lip. “But I talked with Michonne and then she talked to Rick I guess…I owe her.” Daryl didn’t say anything and you looked up at him. “Are you angry that I talked to Michonne?”

Daryl frowned at that. “’Course I’m not. I want to be here with you, not there. Just…didn’t want Rick or anyone having to deal with the Sanctuary and all that if I could, but Rick told me to leave, that he’ll find someone else and it won’t be trouble, Rosita was saying she wouldn’t mind taking my place…”

You smiled, glad Rick had finally seen reason, even though it took Michonne talking to him for him to do so, and glad that Rosita didn’t seem to mind to step up. It suited her. “So this is then? I get to have you here with me and Max from now on?”

Daryl nodded, smiling. “Ain’t no place I’ll rather be,” he whispered before cupping your cheek and kissing your lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And…this is the end. I know it was a bit abroupt, but I didn’t know how to do better.
> 
> I’m glad this story is over, because I feel it doesn’t have much quality, even if I tried my best, but my best for this wasn’t enough. I’ve lost a lot of readers, and I can only hope they’ll be back when I start posting something new. Thank you to everyone who kept reading this, thank you for stuck with me through good and bad.
> 
> As always, please, leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.  
Next week I’ll be posting a New Year’s special one shot. Then a new miniserie starts, “Warm” and after that, in February, a new long series, “First and Last” a sequel of “The first to blow your mind”.   
Thank you all and I hope to see you soon! Happy Holidays if you do celebrate, and happy week anyway!

**Author's Note:**

> And this was the first chapter! I’m sorry if they are short, I’m going to kept them short for a little while, and then they’ll become longer, promised! And yeah, Daryl and the redader didn’t get to speak, I’ll make you wait a couple of days for that, I hope I left you hanging! I kind of wanted to introduce her and the story, see what you think, so if you could let me know your thoughts, it would be lovely.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you have time, and excuse my english and mistakes since it’s not my first language.


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